Eyes On Fire
by xTroubleNGlitter
Summary: Carrie was just a high school senior college hunting in Florida during spring break, that was until the walkers rose. She's lost everything and ends up at Woodbury's doorstep after fighting on her own since the breakout. She finds an unlikely ally with quite the burden on his shoulders and a way with words like no other. Takes place before and into season three. Merle/OC
1. Welcome to the NEW World

**Author's Note:** Holy craaaaap I am alive! I am SO sorry I have not worked on 'On The Way Down' (my Ib story) but I plan to get back on that! A whole mess of shit has happened in the past few months that left me with no possible time to do any writing whatsoever. But now I'm settled in a house and I can start writing again. I know where I am gonna take my Ib story but I wanted to do this so bad especially after I had a dream involving it a few days ago. I got into 'The Walking Dead' in January, and I'm a Dixon Brothers fangirl. I love both of them, I can't help it. I hope you guys enjoy this, I incorporated a little bit of myself and a few of my friends into the character so hopefully I can develop her into someone you all can enjoy. I hope to get back into writing more and more as spring approaches! My love for Merle and Daryl is UNBREAKABLE! Dixon Brothers FTW!

This takes place between season two and three, more going into three as spring enters and the temperature picks up and the plants are in bloom.

Follow the story, follow me, and leave a comment :) I'd appreciate it!

* * *

Fuck Woodbury. Fuck walkers, fuck the entire situation. She thought the small haven was safe. Far from it. She thought the governor was a great leader, she lied to herself. When he couldn't get in her pants, she was forced out for planning 'treason.'

"What a dick..." She mumbled, her voice a murmur against the warm spring air. Now here she was sitting along the road, under the biggest tree should could find. In the faint distance she had heard yelling and what seemed like gun shots, but she didn't care. She was as good as dead. All the months of struggle, fighting, killing, and trying to be the master manipulator had lead her to this moment. No food, water, her weapon broken, and nothing but the clothes on her back. After the governor and his cronies ran her out she only had the makeshift creation she thought was genius. It was a long leather glove strapped on by a metal brace with a knife attached, well, held on by duct tape.

Her mind had wondered on how she was stuck in this situation a little bit more. Normally she didn't think of herself as a person waiting for death or walkers on the side of the road. As she heard the groans and gun shots in the distance she knew they were approaching. The eighteen year old had made her way through what seemed to be state after state in a matter of months. Different camps and groups that had fallen apart and anarchy seemed to be her greatest acquaintance. Her journey started in the Florida area while on a trip to visit family and look at universities. When the chaos broke out of the zombie apocalypse she was forced to fight with her family. She had never really gotten along with her relatives, they even had her paying rent while she was down there for a few months. When she realized the situation she did the only think she could think of, she ran.

For all she knew, and what her heart told her, her family up north was long dead. The journey slowly took her near Atlanta, which was supposed to be a safe zone. She had bounced from location to location and finally found her way to Woodbury. That was her biggest error.

How she stumbled on the small community she still didn't understand, it was almost fictional, right out of a twisted story. She had been stumbling along the woods for what seemed to be weeks, finding streams and getting her hands on anything she could to eat and seemingly past the mental breaking point. The dried blood on her leather glove and the light rusting on her blade was the evidence to how many walkers she had already gone through. The young woman's brunette hair was straggly and hanging down past her chest, covered in dirt and sweat from weeks of fighting the heat and humidity.

* * *

_The bugs sounded in furious passion as the day continued on. The sun was luckily shrouded by trees in different locations throughout the day. Her racer back gray and pink striped tank was stained with dirt and blood, both of herself and the walkers. In denim cutoff shots and stolen combat boots she had stumbled around the woods again at the peak of the afternoon for food. Anything she could get her hands on she would eat. Even back home she was taught that nothing should ever go to waste, and if you wasted it, you're sinning. _

_Brown eyes had surveyed the area before her ears peaked at the sound of all too familiar groans off in the distance. When there wasn't walkers bothering her and she wasn't on the hunt for food or water; in that rare time, she could enjoy the bird calls. At least the animals and in a sense nature were unfazed by this calamity of events. _

_Moving along the ground she slid her blade over the trees as she passed along, the sound of metal scraping bark hopefully attracting walkers. The sooner she got to killing them the sooner she could take a short bit of time to relax. She had noticed that many seemed to just roam if you were quiet and almost frozen, but if you had an open cut or you were in their range and moving, you were their prime target. Quite a few walkers just slumped to the beat of their own misshapen, beaten, drum. But that day she was in a rowdy mood, looking for something to kill and to get something out of her own misery. It really wasn't misery though, it was a boredom. She had already grown up fast, and now surviving on her own in the zombie apocalypse? Chalk up her teenage years to being on her long list of what's gone wrong in the short time she had been on her journey. The isolation had become normal, the insanity embraced, the odor ignored, and the sun burn pleasing to her. Pain was pleasure anymore, a comfort, some form of letting her know physically and mentally she was still alive. _

_Stumbling along the way in the grass she turned and saw something along the left line of her vision, it was the walker she had heard earlier. Turning again to her left she sunk down, watching intently for the moment to strike. It was a game anymore, the most unique way and the quickest time to get rid of the walkers on her ass. There wasn't a prize but her own genuine satisfaction. Dropping to the ground on all fours she carefully crawled before moving up off her knees into a crouch again. She kept silent while her eyes surveyed the scene in front of her. The walker had something attached to it. What appeared to be a choker around the zombie's neck and it had a long pole behind it. Whatever it was, or wherever it had been before, it was as good as game to her. Creeping closer she moved in for the kill only to be met by the sound of a loaded gun cocked somewhere near her._

_"HANDS UP!" Her head slowly turning she was met by three men, one holding the zombie at the end of the pole it was latched to. "I SAID HANDS UP!" The man holding the walker yelled. He was pudgy and had glasses, but the gun held in his free hand was more than enough to change the situation._

"_Aw for shits sake what the fuck you doin' now Milton? Causin shit." Another figure appeared out from the brush in front of her. "Well hello there, we got ourselves a lil' pistol it seems. Milton, gimme the gun. You best damn know you can't do that shit." The older man's hand out he snatched the gun and cocked it, stepping closer to you. "Now, sugar, who is you?" _

_Her frame still she kept her hands up before turning to face him. "Ooohwee look at you. Now this is a treat. You and I, we the same." Holding his other arm up she smirked at the sight of what was a metal contraption. _

_Her voice a harsh whisper she finally spoke, "This is only a weapon. I can assume yours is gone." Pouty lips curved into a sadistic smile at the sight of the older man staring down at her. "If you gonna shoot me, I suggest you do it, I'm not patient." The walker still groaning she let out a louder moan, obviously annoyed. "Look, I've been doing this for weeks, if you are gonna kill me do it now cause if you try to feed me to that, you'll be in for a show. Though you seem like you'd enjoy it."_

"_Ya damn right I would. Hey Milton, let's take 'er back." The man glanced over and to her before back to him. "I'd enjoy some company...of a good sort." Milton adjusted his glasses, surveying the situation. "What the hell are you even thinkin' 'bout? We're takin' her back. Walk ahead there with that ugly fucker. I'll take care of princess." Milton pushing ahead with his pet zombie the two followed a few yards behind. _

"_Where we going?" She whispered, glance still on Milton stumbling ahead in the distance. A slight glare shot back to the man watching her he smirked at the sight in front of him. _

_Leaning closer he pushed her ahead with the gun, whispering into her ear with cool air that left a chill up her spine. "Woodbury. Keep movin'." The two did just that, they kept moving. "So tell me princess, what's ya name?" _

_She rested her hands behind her head as she walked forward, moving past walkers off in the distance and the somewhat still time set in the motion around her. "Carrie. My name is Carrie." The man behind her shrugging at the name she caught it from the corner of her eye she huffed. "What, ain't that a good enough name?" _

"_I expected somethin' more...exotic. If ya catch my drift." The gun moved down her back slightly, the cold metal pressing into the curve of her back before her tailbone and bottom. His eyes moved down over her rear and back up to the back of her head to keep her from trying anything. The two walked on in silence as Milton continued to groan as much as the walker and yelp as he moved through the woods. "SHADDAP!" Carrie giggled at the sudden outburst from the man behind her while they continued to venture on. "What? You think that's funny? I'm not a funny guy sweet cheeks!" _

_Her head tilting back she smirked yet again, obviously unaffected by the chain of events. "I told you my name, now tell me yours."_

"_Princess you in no place to tell me to do anything with a gun at ya ass." Pouting her lip in his direction he grinned at the sight. "My name is Merle." Merle glanced down to see her bite her lip, holding back chuckles as her shoulders shook for a second. "You findin' my name funny? I can shoot ya ass."_

"_My ass is too good to shoot." She replied, Merle's eyes widening at an answer he did not expect. Finally they made it through the woods to a clearing along the road. Large swift crafted gates were in front of them. When they had caught up to Milton Merle had moved from behind her to her other side. In a swift motion she reached her blade to the walker and sliced his head clean off. "I had been waiting to do that for a while." She mumbled, obviously annoyed. Milton glaring at her and to Merle they turned to the wall, guards all now standing with their assault rifles, ready to fire. _

_Milton standing still he extended his hand back to the girl behind him. "We have someone for the governor, someone new. She can be useful." After a few minutes of deliberation the doors had opened and the three made their way in. Carrie was in awe of the sight before her. The community seemed like nothing ever happened. Houses sat along the vertical streets, cars and vans parked along them with families all bustling and moving around the area. In the center was green grass and trees with young children running around. There were also small shops and buildings, even a water tower; this place besides it's wall was completely unharmed. Just as quickly as they had walked in the gate behind them had shut._

* * *

"_The governor will show you around the town, or I will, or Merle, when you're approved to live here. You'll be a lot better off here. Food, running water, a lot better than berries and stinking for months right?" Carrie still silent they made their way down the street until they arrived at a building that looked like a movie theatre. "Alright, follow us. I'll ask if you can remove your...crafted weapon." The brunette glanced down to her trusty companion before glaring at Milton. "Or...we can discuss with the governor if you can keep it or not." Milton opened the door to allow the two to move in before him. Cold air immediately hit her as she stepped up onto the hard floor, the place was definitely air conditioned. How did the area even have power?_

_Climbing the steps they passed another floor and turned the corner to meet two large doors. She surveyed the area to find that it was a very well decorated 'town hall.' There were pictures on the walls, decent furniture, and more than interesting scenery in the chain of events that had preceded this so called capture. "Alright, follow me, and keep quiet." Milton whispered. Opening the door they walked in and she admired the large space. It was certainly decorated for a leader. _

_Milton escorted them around to a table where a man that appeared to be in his forties sat with his elbows on the table, chin propped on his hands. Merle kept the gun behind her as Milton walked up in front of them to greet the leader. "So, who is this little lady?"_

"Sir, we found her fending in the woods and she killed the walker we had on observation while we were out on the rounds...I'm sorry sir."

_The governor stood up and moved around the table, standing in front of Milton he leaned against the table. "It's no issue Milton, they can be easily replaced. At least we know she has had her fair share of getting rid of those...monsters. Can you get me and Merle a drink? Thanks." Milton nodding he ran out of the room and shut the door again behind him._

"_Now sweetie, what's ya name?"_

"_Carrie." She whispered, hands still above her head._

_The governor glancing up at Merle he looked back at the brunette in front of him. "How long have ya been running? Where's the family?"_

_Carrie glanced down before giving her answer with a simple glance. "I'm...so sorry. You seem like you've been on along for a while now. Did Merle give ya any hassle? We've been workin on gettina his head straight."_

_Merle shot a look down to the back of Carrie's head, trying to get her to feel what he wanted her to say. "He was enough. I'll put up with what I stumble on."_

_Resting a hand on her shoulder the governor chuckled. "Good attitude for someone in your sitiation. Well, I also need to know, how old are you sweetie?"_

_"I'm eighteen." Merle tilting his head back he gave a sly smirk before sharing a look with the governor. "um...whoever the guy was that just left-"_

_"That would be Milton dear, my left hand man."_

"_Well uh, Milton wanted to take this, and I was hoping I could keep it?" Carrie dropped her hand to the governor, showing him her weapon. _

_The governor held her wrist gently with both hands. "This is...interesting. You made this yourself?" Carrie nodded quickly before he turned her arm over. "We can definitely upgrade this, get you some leather, a stronger brace, I'll get ya a new blade for it to. How that soundin to ya Carrie?" She smiled and gave another quick nod. "Merle, take her to an empty apartment here with the rest of y'all. He'll help get ya settled and cleaned up and tomorrow we'll have Gonzalez introduce you to what ya be doing, alright?"_

_"Yes, sir." The governor leaned back, obviously charmed in an euphoric sense at the words of her answer._

"_Alright, Merle drop it, it's fine now. Take her up." _

"_Got it." The two moving out from the room she stood still in front of him before they began walkin. He pressed against her as they moved down the hall. "Listen here sugar tits, let me just tell ya somethin, we got us taco vendors here, we got the porch monkeys, you keep clear of them and stick with me. Imma treat you good here." Carrie scoffed at his remark. She was raised in the north after all, and it clicked in her head what she thought was a stereotype was true. Southern men were redneck, racist hicks. "Get you cleaned up and we can have a lil...fun." He pulled her hair back lightly, enjoying the view from behind. _

"_So let's see what I'm dealing with. A hick who obviously can't keep it in his pants gets to show me around? Oh joy..." _

"_Oh baby you don't get half of it. Ya keep me company, I keep ya company. I'll show ya a good time, don't you worry bout that." The idea left her spine tingling in disgust. While she enjoyed the "company" of...older men, he was completely disgusting. Noticing her snicker he spoke up again. "What so funny sugartits?" _

"_Sugar tits, really? Damn...you're a smooth operator aren't ya?"  
_

"_And I ain't gonna work for nobody but you." She cracked her knucles and bit her lip, doing anything to stop her laughter. His ignorance amused her to the nth degree. She hadn't seen anyone like him in years, since she was about fifteen. A loudmouth, annoying, beligerant, ignorant man who just wanted to get into her pants. In a way she felt at home; it was a sick and twisted way of it but she felt more comfortable as she walked with him. "Aight, here we go." Opening the door he let her walk in and glance around. It was a small space. A cot against the window, a small kitchen space, a table with a radio on it, a door open to a small closet, a couch, and a door leading to a bathroom. "This is ya space. When you wanna move up, you let me know, bumpin uglies will get ya everywhere here."_

"_I'll keep that in mind." She replied sarcastically. "Where can I get new clothes? These are filthy..." _

_Merle pointed to the table, it seemed like Milton took a little longer for drinks because he had ran out and picked her some clothes. "next door we got clothes n that shit. No clothes soundin better to me by the minute." _

"_Oh go yank yourself, cause god knows I ain't." _

"_Aw you ain't gonna do me good? Ya gotta come around to me, and come to me."_

"_You are a sick man." She groaned. When she turned around he backed away from her and to the door. "What do I do tomorrow?"_

"_Be lookin for Milton or me, one of us'll take ya to the taco stand boy. Or I can take ya there first thing in the morning if ya want me to stay."_

_Carrie walked over to the door, resting her frame against the wooden door's body. "I'll pass." With a quick slam of the door she locked it and made her way over to the table to pick up her clothes and immediately made her way into the bathroom. She turned on the shower faucet and stripped down, grossed out at the sight in the mirror. She had bruises all over her arms and legs, her abdomen pale compared to the tanned skin over the rest of her body. Dropping her bra and underwear off she found humor in her pale natural skin. She was permanently tanned in her eyes as she stepped under the running water. She knew that she'd have to get soap and shampoo when she was introduced to the town the next day but for the moment just hot water and wiping the dried dirt and blood off of her felt amazing. After what seemed like forever she had stepped out she turned the shower off and immediately turned the sink on to keep the hot water going. She ran her underwear and clothes under the water to clean them off. After she hung them on the shower rod to dry she had changed and moved into her 'apartment' she sat down on the couch. In a white tank top and denim jeans she enjoyed the feeling of fresh clothes on her skin._

_Her mind was rattled at the situation she was now in. A community that she hadn't heard about, and now she was accepted immediately? It seemed like a dream until a knock came to the door. She stood up to answer and was greeted again by Merle with an envelope packed with papers. "Here ya go sweetass." She could smell a little bit of alcohol on his breath. He was REALLY like the guys she knew back home more and more. "The governor put everythan in there ya need. Tomorrow I'll be showin ya around the area. Welcome ta Woodbury sweetass." _

"_I'd prefer not to be called that."_

_"Does bitch work betta for ya?_"

"_Whatever floats your boat..."_

"_Merle. My name is Merle, you just a stupid bitch or don't you not listen?"_

_Carrie leaned forward, a rich smirk decorating her face, and with a swift lick of her lips, almost taunting him, she spoke. "Not to ignorance I don't." Closing the door again she heard him yell and cuss and scream while she locked the door and moved back to the couch. Attached in was a letter from the governor with a map. He had explained about what she would be doing, where to go for what, the rules and duties of Woodbury, and that her weapon would be worked on by Milton and returned to her by the next day's afternoon. He explained that Merle would be showing her around, helping her get acquainted with the citizens, getting food and necessities to get her adjusted. Down at the bottom of the packet was a small note apologizing if Merle had said or done anything 'not appropriate', the governor saying that they were still working with him to make him a better person._

_Carrie sat the papers out on the table and organized them, moving certain ones with others and slunk over to her bed. There was simply a blanket and pillow over the mattress. She didn't care, she was sleeping on a bed. Not in a car she broke into, not on the ground, not facing frostbite, not being in the way of walkers. It was a place of her own again and she could let her guard down for a few hours to sleep._

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**P/N: **Alright you guys that's the first chapter! This was basically to introduce Carrie to the readers. Yes, I do love Merle, he's my fourth favorite character. Then it's Carl, Michonne, and of course at the top is Daryl :)  
Told y'all I was a Dixon fangirl...

ANNNNYWAYS, so the first few chapters will be her time in Woodbury. I do have in until a little bit before Andrea and Michonne arrive, I want to space that apart just so she has her own time discovering what has been going on in Woodbury and unlike Andrea she won't stick around to 'keep the people safe.' She fends for herself and that's how I want to keep her character for a while. I picture her looking a little like Maggie and Andrea if they were put together. For people going 'wtf' for her interactions with Merle it comes from experience with myself and people I know. I originally had her as seventeen and then turning eighteen in Woodbury but I just bumped her up to eighteen to make it less weird. This is the first thing I wrote since last summer so I know I'm rusty, I hope I can shake off the dust and get really back into this. Her weapon I don't know where I got the idea...but it's like a tight leather glove held on by a brace like a knee one but she broke it to adjust it to her arm. The blade when she arrives in Woodbury is broken off but it'll be repaired and by the time she leaves it'll be broken again. I'm so mean...

But yeah I wanted to do something outside my comfort zone, I hope you enjoy it :)

Leave a comment, give predictions of what is going to happen, and tell me what you think Carrie looks like!

Take care!

-Lindsey


	2. A Heavy Load

**Author's Note:** Alright, so now we can start the long road ahead of us with Carrie! Thanks for liking chapter one, you rule! I originally planned this not to be a romantic story, but with recent things I've read and what is upcoming for the season finale, I believe it is in my best interest to make this a romance genre story, and I can't help but writing Carrie/Merle goodness.

But anyways this chapter is an entire flashback in Woodbury, as the next few chapters are going to be. I want to build up Merle and Carrie's relationship, I have an idea for how I want them to interact so I'll start working more on developing that.

I debated a lot with the title, at first I liked the original one, then I didn't like it, changed it, then changed it back. I was on Pandora and 'Eyes on Fire' by the Blue Foundation came on and I listened, this fit the story perfectly for how I want the characters to interact and the overall feel of the story.

The reviews I've gotten already I love 3 you guys want to make me keep writing!

So favorite, follow, and review please! I'd appreciate it!

xo Lindsey

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The sun had started skimming through the white blinds above her makeshift cot, stirring Carrie as a wake up call. In a white tank top and her underwear she didn't really have clothes to change into, and she hoped she could fix that later on. Her hands and feet threw the blanket off before she sat up, groaning at the idea of working now for someone. At least she was safe, if only for a little bit.

Her feet hit the wooden floor and with a creek she made her way over to the small kitchen to open the fridge; nothing was in it. Her stomach growled in response to the sight of nothing to eat. Her groan even louder she moved around to grab the pair of jeans Milton left the night before and slid them on, he gave her a pair that was two sizes two big of course. She didn't even have a belt to hold them up and that pissed her off, leaving them hanging just at her hip bones, her underwear sticking out at the top. After moving around her space for a little bit she turned at the knock on her door. Through the peep hole was none other Merle, standing with a pinkie finger in between his teeth. In a pair of brown slacks and a white tanktop she chuckled at the sight of the man before she opened the door.  
"Ay good mornin' suga, how bout a good mornin kiss?" His lips puckered up to meet hers, only to sit alone until he opened his eyes to see her sliding on her sneakers. "Ya ain't gonna take care of ol Merle? No good bitch."

Her attention turned to Merle she had grabbed the key to the apartment and slid it into her pocket before walking over to the door and turning the lock. While she played calm, her stomach gave up in the man's presence, a loud grumble taking over the silence. "Can we just get food I can put in the fridge? Is the governor up yet?"

"That who I'm takin ya to see." He waited for her to close the door before he pushed her ahead. "I be takin ya round town today. Get you 'justed to us, and me."

"I'm more adjusted to walkers trying to eat my ass."

"Don't be temptin' me princess." Merle's comment grossing her out she literally made a gagging sound as the image popped into her mind. "Aw 'lax sugar tits, I'm all for the jugs more. Somethin' I can...play wit." His eyes ventured down to her chest, his view allowing him to enjoy the sight as he towered over her. She had to be only somewhere under five foot four compared to his six foot height. They had made their way down the steps and to the door, knocking lightly to not disturb others living in the building.

The governor opened the door with a small smile, a mug of coffee in his hand. "Sorry to disturb you governor, but you asked that I meet with you as soon as I was up in the morning?"

"I had woke up a few hours ago, right now I'm just collectin' myself. Come in. Good mornin' born of ya." The two stood in front of the desk as the governor sat down with his coffee mug. Pulling a sheet of paper filled with writing on it he glanced up at both of them. "Merle, I'm gonna put you in charge of getting her taken care of. Take her to get food, clothes, get examined, and then see Milton about her getting her weapon back. Now, tell me, what ya good at?"

As much as Carrie enjoyed the thought of killing walkers she knew that with others she would be slowed down and arguments would break out. In light of that, she took to more of her...down home talents. "Well sir, I can sew pretty damn well. If you need anything patched up I'm your girl."

The Governor leaned back, surveying her and thinking of what to do with her, then the idea clicked. "I know myself, Merle, Milton and a few others of us usually need clothes fixed up since we're running rampant like mad men. You up for it? We'll have the ladies send em to ya after they're cleaned and you can do your work. I hope you as good as ya say you are." He stood up and walked around to them with the piece of paper. "This is where I want you to go today with Merle, and he'll show ya around." His glare shot to his right hand man. "Don't be pullin' no funny shit. We don't need to have you runnin' her out of Woodbury. Got it Merle?"

"Scout's hona sir." Merle's voice oozed with sarcasm as he raised his metallic attachment, pretending to salute him. "I'll show ya 'round first, these fuckahs need to wake up soon. Let's go." After they had been dismissed they made their way down the steps and out the door into the warm spring air.

**x-0-x**

The small town of Woodbury was still this early in the morning, only sometime most likely between six and seven in the morning. It was a beautiful sight. Some of the sky was still in gorgeous tones of red and pink, even purple as the blue sky was moving in over head. Street lights were still on however, peaking her interest. "Hey Merle, how are the street lights still on?"

"Ya dumb ass, we use that sola powa. How the fuck else we gon do it?" She shrugged at the realization of how they continued to use power in the city. "Any otha' dumb questions ya wanna ask?" She shook her head quickly, getting a grin out of the older man. "Good. Women ask stupid questions, shouldn't even ask em."

"Excuse me?"

"Shut the hell up." He barked, immediately leaving her stunned as he continued. "What ya be understandin' is that ya takin care of important people, n ya takin care of me. Don't fuck it up." He growled. "Or there gon' be punishment."

"I'm just sewing clothes, it ain't rocket science. Just show me around until I can get my shit and go back to my bed and sleep."

"I ain't gonna let ya be sleepin', Imma keep you up." He whispered, enjoying the time he had alone with her. He could say anything, and she honestly didn't care. Nothing seemed to phase her to hard. Everything he said she took with a grain of salt, especially considering half of his comments involved his penis and sex. It was humorous in such a hellish time that he thought more about sleeping with girls than the walkers and the threat to the world. "Lemme show ya round. Come on." He grabbed her arm and pulled her along quickly, a little rough but he wasn't breaking her arm. Their feet moved along the road and crossed over to the other side of the town, showing her the homes. "These be where families at. Got kids n that shit. Ain't worth my time." She passed houses with lights on and some families eating breakfast in their kitchen windows. "How'd ya get hur? Ya don't look, from here. Ya Yank?"

"God no." Her eyes widened, almost, no...she WAS offended by his comment. "I'm from the north but I certainly no 'yank'" she groaned, "But I ain't from the bottom of the bucket like you." She took a deep breath, chancing to look up at him. He wasn't offended by her words, in fact it was the complete opposite. He was laughing. She really didn't expect any less from the man with a blade on his arm. "Well, I'm from the north originally, born and raised, and this past year I moved to Florida to start looking for college to attend. If you're a resident there I heard it's a lot easier to get into college." Her mind recalling the night all hell broke loose she lowered her voice. "I was at a barbeque with my family, my distant family, and the neighborhood broke into chaos..."  
Merle honestly didn't care, but he found the story interesting. "All of the people went running and screaming and walkers moved through...by the time I had grabbed some stuff one of my family members was bitten and I was on the run."

"Ya left ya family?!" Merle asked, interest now peaked. Her nod as an answer he asked another question. "So 'ow the hell ya survived?"

She rubbed the back of her neck, smooth skin with a thin layer of sweat in the warm spring air already busting the cool night air. "I bounced from group to group. Waited till it was anarchy or it was over run by those damn monsters. When it started warming up I had found my way to this area. I was already in Georgia and trying to get to Atlanta when they said that the place was over run. Soo...I just kept moving. I had broken into cars, stolen walkers clothes, stole anything to keep me warm over the winter and now it's spring and it's a lot easier. What about you?"

"Whut?"

"...how'd you get here?"

Merle picked his teeth again with his pinkie, obviously grossing Carrie out. "Nun ya damn business."

"I told you how I got here!"

"I ain't give a shit! You talked, ain't me."

"Fuck you then." She growled, walking at a quicker pace, hoping some place would be opened up as they moved down the road.

Merle raced to catch up to her, a frown stuck to his face. "You best learn how to talk little girl, don't be pissin' me off."

"You always seem to be pissed off, either that, horny, or both! Leave me alone! I can find my way around by myself!" His anger rose at her harsh words and she only met a firm grim on her arm yanking her back. "What the hell! Let me go!" She could feel his breath on her shoulder, it was hot and ragged. He was pissed.

He took a deep breath before he leaned in to speak to her, obviously annoyed with the young woman. "Listn' here, right now. Don't be pissin me off. Ya be in for a rude 'waknin if ya do. You understan' me?" A low growl escaped from this throat after his threat, leaving her silent and still. She could have turned back and argued, but his weapon being inches from slicing her in the side and the fact that he was one of the governor's leading men stopped her from anything. "I said..." He whispered, his eyes looking for others around them. With no one in sight and Woodbury still peacefully asleep he leaned even closer, breathing on her neck. "Do you understand me?" She nodded slowly to let Merle understand she could comprehend what he was saying. With a smirk he leaned up and pushed her ahead. "Good, keep ya mouth shut, we'll get along fine."

**x-0-x**

After walking in quiet and listening to him show her which places to go they finally heard the town waking up and getting to work. People emerged, somewhat friendly, and went to their own small jobs in the area. "So where do I go for mine? With sewing...sir." Merle's eyebrow peaked at her choice of wording. He was going to enjoy every second of this.

Merle pointed back to where she was staying. "Like the governa said if ya was payin attention, Milton or me or tha man himself gon' bring ya clothes to work with. You be doin what a good wife should." She wanted to spit on his shoes at that statement. The idea of being a wife, cooped up, sewing and cooking all day for him, the mere image of it made her want to vomit. "Nice to see women here knowin' they place.." He pulled a toothpick out and stuck it between his teeth.

'As if the fucker couldn't be more of a stereotype...' she groaned inward. His voice interrupted her thought as she came crashing back to earth from dream land. "Ya listenin? Ya dumb broad." She bit her tongue, knowing eventually her patience for this moron would pay off, or fizzle out and she'd jump him and the two would fight. That idea made her smile. "What you smilin' bout? Did I tell ya you could smile?" Her lips quickly moved into a frown as she walked ahead. She was already sick of his ass. "Ah come on princess, I was only kiddin at ya. I wanna see that smile 'gain."

She glanced back, dark eyes almost dead in anger, boiling as he caught on, his only response a quick twitch in the corner of his mouth, a sly smirk forming in it's wake. "When you make me smile, pigs'll fly."

"We already got the dead walkin!" He caught up to and matched her quick pace as they approached the town building to get her situated into the town. "I'm almost there sweetheart. Ain't gonna be much longer."

She glanced back at him and pointed to the building in front of them. "Yup, here's where ya get ya shit. Come on." He waved her up the steps and into the building.

The building was warm, not cooled like the place she was staying. The lights were off, letting the sun light move through the building. It was still a little bit dark in the large space as they made their way down the main hall. She had glanced over the place; she at first thought it was a school building or a post office, but she finally recognized it really was a plain town building. They had left a few posters up of old dates, including the town fair the summer before. She took the paper as they walked, reading it over. "What ya lookin' at?"

"Flyer for town fair last year. Do you think those'll ever happen again?" She asked politely, at least looking for a kind answer.

Merle scratched his head, obviously annoyed with her question. "I dunna know. Maybe if the walkers 'come a sideshow attraction. Ya willin' ta do a kissin' booth?" She scoffed at his comment before she folded the flyer up and slid it into her back pocket. He pulled out a large set of keys from his pocket as they continued on down the hall. Finally they got to double doors, seeming to be an auditorium or meeting hall. No one was even in yet, the sun pushing through the large windows on the right side, allowing light to trickle through and cast on the wall opposite of the room. Merle pushed ahead and waved for her to follow him. He unlocked a door next to the steps to the stage and walked through, pulling on a line to turn on a light that lead into a much smaller room. It was lined with shelves filled with boxes of food and clothes. "This is just for the new comers. Ya got the special treatment. If ya want a bonus...I think we can work somethin' out."

"I'm just fine." Carrie whispered, looking at the paper the governor gave her of what she could take. Grabbing a few bags off the first bottom shelf she made her rounds, collecting some cans of vegetables, fruits, what she was allowed of the pickled food, and a few things of dried meat. "The governor said when I'm settled I can get some regular meat, I can't wait. Make some burgers or hot dogs or something..." Merle stood against the door, watching her move as she picked what she wanted. The bags were filled and she struggled to lift a case of water. The whole time he had been studying her body, his eyes examining what he could be working with. After watching her bend over a few times and struggle he decided to stop her complaining and bitching about not being able to lift it. He snatched it from her and threw it over his shoulder. With her last bag she went through the clothes in boxes and found quite a few things. Seems like people gave up a lot of size 8 shorts and skirts, even some medium dresses, and a lot of small shirts; she was also cheery to find bras that fit her, her size was a hard come by in stores. She also grabbed some shampoo, soap, midol, ibuprofen, and stomach reliever medicine. Her eyes lite up at the sight of tooth brushes, toothpaste, razors, and deodorant; stuff that she hadn't used in a very long time. She was especially delighted to fight the toothpaste and razors. She hadn't cleaned her teeth in a few weeks since she ran out of toothpaste, and hadn't shaved all winter. Hands also snatched some fabric she found and thread. The governor would definitely give her some needles, and she figured out what she would be able to do. "I'm done." She spoke up, getting a sigh of relief from Merle as a response. She moved her bags to the box she had and lifted it, struggling at first but managing to lift it. Locking the door behind him Merle watched her toddle with the box out of the large hall and down the hall as he followed behind with the case of water.

**x-0-x**

After what seemed like extra time getting her back to her small new home she continued to struggle up the stairs as Merle made his way past her, listening to her fall quite a few times on the wooden steps. What seemed like forever he stood impatient as he waited for her to climb the rest of the steps. Finally, when he was at his wits end, she had made her way to the top, face red and gasping for air. She pushed the box to the door and pulled her key out, still breathing heavy as she shoved the door open. Her chest heaved at the strain of the heavy lifting like it had never knew weight before. When it came to running from walkers, she had no trouble; but in this situation of heavy lifting like that and carrying it for quite some time she was worn out. Picking up the box again she stumbled and dropped it on the kitchen counter. Carrie snatched the water from Merle and opened the fridge to throw the case in there. Before she closed it she ripped the case open and took a water bottle out. Her fingers almost ripped the bottle top off before she began to drink, gulping the water down as quick as she possibly could.

His eyes drifted down to her neck, watching her throat come alive as the water ran down. This had to have been the first time in a while she had water that was pure like that. Seconds later she had finished the bottle and sat it on the small dinner table with a chair in front of it. Carrie's eyes drifted over to Merle sitting on the couch, watching her. He seemed relaxed, arms back on the top of the couch and legs apart. The smirk on his face was evident as she climbed onto the counter to put cans and boxes in the cabinets. She was surprised to see one had a few small pots and pans. She'd have to rinse them out but it was something. The relief of seeing dish soap in her bag was a miracle to her as she had even seen a couple plates.  
"Are you comfy?" She asked, her tongue dripping with sarcasm.

"'N all I'd need is a meal. You 'ready got keepin' a man company down with tha sight." She groaned at his words and continued to stock her shelves, at least getting the bottom shelves so she wouldn't have to climb every time.

"You think you can help me?" She asked, glancing over at him, her brow quizzical for what rebuttal he'd bring.

"Wha I look like to ya, a tranfairy? I ain't got tits! Ya do the kitchen work woman!" ...and there it was. At least this time it was somewhat original to her. She continued to put away cans as he mumbled something about her, his eyes moving to her for a response. Did she ignore him? Or just not hear it? Either way he sank down further, watching her move about to put everything away as she dropped two bags to the floor that were empty. "So, ya gonna treat me to a meal princess? I'm hungry."

"Who do you think you are?" She joked, seeing his brow deepen at her remark. "I was kidding jackass. I'll make you something. It's the least I can do for you helping me, even though you annoy the living fuck out of me." She barked, only to see his scowl turn into a sadistic smirk. She knew how to play the cards just as much as he did. "What do ya want? Cause as soon as ya ass eats, you need to leave. What do you want for breakfast?"

He pretended to ponder, trying to think of something elaborate, only to come with something simple. "Eggs, bacon, pancakes, come on woman. Ya up for the challenge?"

As she looked around at the bags she continued to shelf what she had. She knew how to fit stuff, she had always been like that since she was little. If there was space to put something so she'd have more room, she'd fit it, one way or another. Her mind continued to examine what she had and what she could actually make. She was happy to find that in the large fridge in the storage room she had picked up some eggs and cheese. She missed the novelties, the luxury. She had been hunting deer and squirrels for so long, the nice food was a blessing.

Finally she opened the last food bag and grinned, reaching in she yelled over to Merle and pulled out pancake mix. "You rang for pancakes sir?"

"I'm likin' this, ya callin me sir. How all these bitches shoulda be 'dressin me. Start cookin." His smarky tone was made up in addition to a sly smirk. While many other girls she knew back home would have probably kicked him in the testicles by now, she didn't mind it. She grew up with a father with a...somewhat similar attitude. It at least occupied her time and left her feeling like she had something to do. She hopped down off the counter and grabbed the pancake batter mix. She didn't have milk, but water worked well enough. She washed off the pan and sat it on the counter and grabbed the stick of butter she grabbed. She never really ate anything with butter growing up, so she knew it really wouldn't be used much. Hand latched on the somewhat wrecked plastic bowl she had grabbed she poured the ingredients in and took a large spoon, rapid motions to whip the batter up.

Merle crossed him arms, his eyes locked on to the eighteen year old as she spoke. "Do you like fruit in your pancakes?" She asked quietly, almost knowing the answer.

"Girl are ya dumb as a stiff board? I don't eat bitch food! Just cook!"

"You really can't take a joke, you're the stiff." She barked back. "Don't make me dump this bowl on your ass."

He opened his arms, greeting the gesture. "And ya can guess'll be lickin' that off sugar!"

Carrie could feel her spine shiver in disgust at the thought. She kept her mouth shut for the rest of the time she spent cooking and finally got done with the mess on her stove after fiddling with the controls to get the heat working properly, to cook anything really. She brought the plate over to him and carried her bag of clothes and fabric over to the dresser that had been in the room already. When she took a glance back she stuck her tongue out in disgust. Merle ate just like a redneck man to. Clumsy, sloppy, chewing with half his mouth open, and licking his fingers as he wiped the grease off the plate. She didn't even feel the need to ask if he liked it, she didn't want to hear the answer. He'd probably bitch to her about how the pancakes weren't done right, the eggs weren't cooked enough, she had no ketchup, or salt, and they had no flavor.

He stood up, hands gripped to his pants to adjust them before he walked over to the girl crouched down, folding the clothes and putting them away. Behind her she could see his shadow over her and wasn't phased really. The routine just continued of folding the clothes she had, trying to at least fill the bottom of each drawer to make it feel like she had stuff. After she had gotten the bottom two filled she turned back, eyes shooting up to his as he stood, hands on his hips, wanting to say something. "What now? I said you needed to leave."

"Ya just gone n go throw me out? Ya such a bitch. Not even gonna make my mornin' perfect?"

"Nope. Have a good day Merle." She called him by his name, without his permission, bad mistake.

A hand slipped over her arm, pulling her up quickly. "It's sir to you lil lady. You ain't earned the respect to say my name. Only men can do tha' are God 'imself, the govena, and..." his voice fell silent for a second before letting her go. "Nothin'. Ya trendin on thin ice. Don't make me teach ya a lesson. N ya understan me?" She nodded again, making sure to please his sudden need to be dominant. Typical southern man. "Good." He barked at her before turning and walking to the door. Head turned again to see if she was still watching him, hoping to see fear in her eyes. Already back to folding she moved up to the middle drawers, throwing a few pairs of shorts in before he had left, slamming the door behind him.

Dark eyes maneuvered to the door, almost trying to visualize his footsteps moving down the hall. "Dumbass hick."

* * *

**Author's Note: **OMG TWO CHAPTERS ALREADY? FUCKING BULLOCKS! Naaah, I just wanted to write, that's all :) I had been thinking about what to do about chapter two, of course in the shower, and got to writing as soon as I got out. Funny thing is the water stopped as soon as I got out, my Merle and Carrie muses wanted me to write dammit! We got the water back up and running though haha.

I had a few ideas about this chapter, but I wanted to be a little bit more of Merle and Carrie interacting, I want to write her already starting to try to get in his head. Of course since he's basically insane that won't work well but whatever.  
But I DO want to tell y'all something important: I'm not doing a shipping, romantic thing. I wanted to do something different than the usual finding romance (or Her making breakfast was only a payment for him carrying her water since he didn't have to do that in her eyes. I wanted to incorporate the small changes Merle had once he was staying with the governor, a little more civil blood running in his veins. He's still a hick asshole though, and I still love him for that.

So that's all for now...I just wanted to say thanks for already liking this story, it has almost 100 views already! CRAZY! I appreciate everyone taking the time to read this, I really do. I love seeing that people want to read what I write, it makes me feel like I've done something interesting with my day. Please, if you're going to follow or favorite, leave a review. Even if it's a little comment about how much you liked it, I'd really appreciate it :)

Oh! Also! I figured out what Carrie looks like! Go to my page and scroll down (wait a little bit cause I still think it's updating) there'll be a link that says 'what Carrie looks like', hit it, and you'll see her reference!

Have a good night!

xo Lindsey


	3. I'm Trying

**Author's Note: **Hey y'all. Talk about a mess...RIGHT after I submitted the new chapter to 'on the way down' I bumped my knee into my eight year old laptop and the hard drive crashed...my poor baby finally died on me :(

So my mom was originally going to buy me a laptop for my 17th birthday but now that I had started this up again I knew I had to get something to hold me over. The original plan was to just get a mini notebook and call it a day. Welp, that didn't happen. I ended up going to Wal-Mart and buying an HP 2000 notebook, burned a hole in my bank account, and cried at the receipt. But! I picked up The Walking Dead season 2 dvd while I cried over my huge spending and as I type I have been watching the dvd non stop. The more Daryl my eyes can take in the better my life is. With a new laptop I am so happy to be writing again!

Now we'll be taking a small time jump and see things start to get a tad interesting. I love getting reviews so leave 'em!

* * *

Her hands moved frivolously, trying to sew the seam that Martinez had seemed to rip in another exhibition out to the woods. She cursed the man numerous times as his clothes became more frequent to her work. Shirts, pants, undergarments, working on shoes, she did it all. It seemed like they threw their clothes through a shredder and handed them back to her to fix. While the bulk was a pain to her, at least it occupied her time.

Thumb and forefinger had been stuck numerous times, the tips of her digits almost numb from the stinging she had felt over the weeks. At the beginning she was more careful, but after she moved into the swing of things the pain of sticking herself had diminished. Carrie could remember sitting in home ec. class, working on dresses and shirts and pillows; she always had a great craft for that, it was a secret talent only her mom and dad knew about...and now the governor and his 'legion of crazy' as she liked to call it. He had Milton, Martinez, and of course the king crazy himself Merle. Another pair of pants had been sewn up by the time she realized all the names started with a 'm' as she thought of more names to call them that involved the letter m.

The floor surrounding the couch was piled with clothes she had worked on, all cleaned and fixed with threads of different colors. While they weren't perfect, they were enough to at least be wearable. On her bed she had some shirts and pants she made with fabric she found and clothes that she couldn't sew back together. Her feet kicked up on the table she glanced over to the record player the governor had given her and a few classic rock records he had that he didn't listen to anymore. A smile crossed her lips at the generosity of her new leader, it was nice to have someone in control and looking out for her.

Woodbury had turned out to be a decent location as the time passed, the weather was decent, folks minded their business, people were on armed watch, and no walkers got through. Carrie's mind drifted back to the fact she hadn't seen a walker in such a long time, she missed the killing. While the peace and quiet was all nice and grand, she was far from relaxed without the notion walkers were being handled outside the walls. At least when she killed walkers, she knew it was one less in the seemingly endless army of them.

Dexterous digits worked diligently on a shirt while her mind drifted in and out of some of her run ins with the geeks that seemed to inherit the earth.

* * *

_In loose jeans and a brown jacket she slid off a walker months before she adjusted her sleeve to almost conceal her weapon. Her movement through the woods had been just like any other day, but with spring seemingly only weeks away she wanted to make sure she wouldn't be sinking into the ground anytime soon. After she had hit her forehead quite a few times on branches she took notice of the buds popping out from seemingly dead branches. Winter had always been her least favorite season; it was dark and death everywhere, and in the middle of a zombie apocalypse it was only made worse with walker bodies seemingly every few hundred yards. Wrist gripped to her weapon she quickly adjusted her blade before she took a quick glance around. The silence in the woods was almost disturbing to her; there were no bird calls, chirps, buzzing, another downfall of the winter season._

_Carrie could feel the strange mix of cool air blowing around her and sweat lined on her arms inside the leather bomber she wore. Her hair was glistening with sweat as her face remained caked with dirt and a few scratches on her forehead from her fateful encounters with branches. With hair and dirt on her arms she was sure that ticks had found their way all over her even in the dead cold._

_In the distance was a heavy rustling sound as her body immediately froze, trying to get a better sense for what was there. Carrie crouched down against a tree, her lower back exposed to the cold bark as her bomber rose up. A chilling shock was sent up her spine as the air brushed said bare skin, leaving her with a sharp gasp as a puff of hot air escaped her mouth. Taking a chance she tilted her head back only to see what was in question; just another walker. It's jaw had been ripped open and hanging, dried and frozen blood splattered on it's face. Eyes squinted Carrie had noticed something she hadn't seen before from a walker: it's jaw was frozen. It couldn't move. All the groaning and moaning and sputtering of blood was like a truck without a new injector in years._

_Before she stood up Carrie looked around to see any more walkers in her line of view. With none around her she crawled along the ground to creep closer. The glove on her free hand was worn with tears along the knuckles and was gone off her pinkie finger. Hand firmly planted to the ground she lifted her makeshift blade and got up off her knees, ready to strike. With a sharp whistle the zombie glanced over.  
"You're one hell of an ugly bitch." She chuckled, admiring the grotesque look of the geek before her. The creature looked to be an older one, frostbite wrecking it's body from the nights it had dropped below freezing. It's arms were no longer connected by the joint or cartilage, they just hung by the muscle, exposing dried and frozen blood. What seemed to be a woman in it's life as her v-neck shirt hung low from most likely muscle deterioration and denim capris hanging loose as well. Her shoes were worn and torn at the front and heel, she had been going on for a while._

_Carrie stood up and moved quickly to the walker, immediately ducking and moving her knife up through the upper jaw of the geek. It didn't even have a moment to move before she pushed through the skull of it to see the tip of her blade out through the back of it's head. Shuffling forward she pulled the walker along, it's head snapped clean off from the muscle and leaving it's body. Blade raised she smiled at the frozen face. Now it really couldn't move._

"_Sorry to kill your momentum." In a swift move she threw the head off and into a tree where it hit with a thud and left a blood stain on the tree. "What a waste..." Back home she had been hunting her entire life, even having videos of her with her father and brothers as a baby all wrapped up in jackets and scarves as she toddled through the field with them, looking for buck. The scenery felt all too familiar and almost welcoming...given the circumstances. She wasn't one to waste food, water, or time, but this for the heck of it was beginning to become boring.  
Back adjusted and blade wiped off on the walker's clothes she set forward again, backpack slung over and pants fixed so they wouldn't fall off like earlier in the morning. Talk about a wake up call.  
_

* * *

Merle's shirts had always been a pain to fix, he seemed to always be moving JUST enough to cause them to rip or tear, even lose a button. She had hardly any clothes from Milton, usually after he had been doing some research for a project he mumbled about; but other than that she had nothing from him. The governor of course had his good and bad days, sometimes he'd only have a shirt that needed a stitch or pants needing a button. Martinez and a few of the other guards weren't that bad either. Usually they had more to get washed then sewn.

Her hands sat still as she finished the last shirt in her smaller pile for the day. It was times in the quiet like that she began to think, her mind crawling to darker places in the middle of the day. She had a place to stay, a job, her time was occupied, but she felt so cold. Carrie had tried to pass happy thoughts through her head for weeks, trying to think of something else that would bring her back to Woodbury. She was drifting into a dangerous zone she did not want to be in. At least in the woods her thoughts had been on killing walkers and going day by day. Now she had the time to actually think about someone other than herself, and it killed her.  
Her family was gone, probably dead since the first few weeks, all her friends wiped out, anyone she knew was most likely gone. She was truly alone, and it felt different than all the times she felt alone back home in the north. At least if she felt alone she would discover that she really wasn't; she had always found herself somewhere with someone and at least if she kept her feelings to herself, she wasn't thinking about the loneliness. It had always been like that for her, especially since she was in high school. The typical 'outsider' student experience as her aunt liked to call it.

Her lips parted to let out a sigh, cool air vibrating her pucker before she stood up to stretch. She bagged up the clothes with the proper names on them and looped them through her arms. In a not-to-graceful move she snatched her key off the table and moved out the door with a stumble before regaining her composure. Carrie moved down the steps and to the governor's office. Her arm stretched up to leave a few quick, hard knocks. The governor opened the door for her to move in before she dropped the bags down and stood up to fix her back.

"Sorry for the quantity this time Carrie, we've been...a little busy. Especially myself, Martinez, and Merle. What can you do right?" He shrugged, getting a small laugh out of the young woman. As she glanced around for the bag with 'governor' written on a small tag she safety pinned he watched her, eyes focused on the job at hand. He leaned against the table, arms crossed in patience as she snaked through and finally found it. "That mine?"

"Yup." She quickly replied, hand outstretched with the large bag. The governor peered in to see the contents and took it from her grip to examine the clothes. "Hopefully everything works?"

"If I can wear it, it works." He joked. "Give me the other guys' bags as well. I'll give them to 'em when they stop by for a meeting tonight." A nod of approval was met with his gaze as she handed off the bags, reading the tags off aloud for him to recognize who got what. "It was a good idea for you to label these by tag and bag for what needed to be done. You're a smart girl."

A light blush warmed her cheeks at the compliment, she hadn't heard one in ages. "Thank you." A stammer emerged out of her voice before she slung a zipped duffel bag over her shoulder. "I appreciate everything you've done for me sir."

The governor gave a small smile, a finger pointed at the bag. "Lemme guess, Merle's?" With only a large sigh as a response he took it for all the words she wanted to say. "Thought so. He's probably at the wall or at the library. I'd suggest looking there. I'm surprised you're delivering the bag to him."

"I wanted to do something different, and I need the fresh air, I've wanted to take a walk for a little bit to. I'm gonna go now.." Her eyes moved around before returning to the governor who gave a simple nod and smile before he went and sat down. "Thank you, have a good afternoon." She quickly made her way out of the room and shut the door behind her. If she wasn't the only girl that looked to the governor with some sort of attraction, she'd be more than surprised, more like astounded. He was a handsome man to say the least, even if it was just to her.

**x-0-x**

After she had shook off the butterflies in her stomach and found her way outside she took a deep breath, admiring the clean air around her. That was something she enjoyed even back where she had grown up, the fresh country air outside her smoke infested house. On certain days it even smelled like beer and she'd open a window to at least make her room fresh.

The ground was green, women were working in the garden sections, kids were in school, and the world for a split second seemed normal to her. These families had no struggle on a daily basis, they weren't scavenging for food, killing walkers, fighting other survivors; they were just doing what they did before the apocalypse, just on some different rules.

While she walked down the street she passed by many families and people who waved and smiled at her, a much lighter atmosphere than what was in her mind minutes before. It was like Woodbury was a dream, as soon as you were outside, it was the harsh reality that the world was hell. But in the small town there were no walkers, no struggle, no napalms, nothing that was a real threat to life besides old age. When that came about, the governor said he handled that, and proper burial arrangements were made. This place was a perfect community, and she enjoyed it.

Carrie jogged up to the gate, a hand over her eyes to block the sun as it peeked through the clouds. There were men lined up on the top like usual, except she couldn't see who she was looking for. Martinez looked back, dressed in a hoodie and jeans with a rifle on his arm he furrowed his brow at the sight of the young seamstress. "What do ya want?" He asked, somewhat annoyed that she was anywhere near the gate. It wasn't a place for a young girl, let alone a girl who was sewing clothes, to be at in the middle of the day.

"I'm looking for Merle!" She yelled, only to see Martinez smile with a strange look. "I..I have his clothes!" Hand raised he could see the large duffel bag with a shirt hanging out of the corner. Bag lowered she waited for Martinez to climb down and walk over. "He's not here at the gate?"

"Obviously not." He paused, somewhat unsettled at her frown. His hand rubbed his neck, eyes poking around the area. "He's at the library then. He goes there for some weird reason. Didn't know he could read." Martinez smiled at the scoff he got from Carrie, turning into a light laugh. "He'll be in there most likely." Returned to his post he watched her walk back up the opposite street before he turned back to his post, the area silent with no walkers in sight.

**x-0-x**

She had to admit, they certainly knew how to lift a person's mood in a matter of seconds. All it took sometimes was a look or a word and she could feel her heart easing up from the stress that was weighing her down. After Carrie had asked a few people she found her way to the library and climbed the steps to make her way in. Shelves were lined to the brim with books, new and old, with the same musky smell. There wasn't a blind spot without some sort of novel resting near it.

Arms crossed she walked down the aisles, a slow pace emerging as she read the titles of many novels they had. Some were what she read in class, some for summer assignments, and ones she had read for leisure. Her heart felt warm in a place that she had spent so much time before the outbreak, the library being a place of solitude for her when she didn't want to go anywhere else or be at home. Carrie could recall times even in elementary school where she had checked out over twenty books at a time and by the fourth or fifth day she'd be done with them. As she got older that love of reading faded more and more and she had altogether stopped going to the library.

Fingers brushed against the spines of the books as she sauntered along the line, peeking at different bold and colored books, hoping that one could peak her interest. As she rounded the corner she had found a mess of tables filled with people. No Merle in sight. A quiet groan escaped her lips before she continued on, moving into the older novels by the smell of it.

Minutes passed until her eyes locked on something she hadn't seen in a long time. 'The Grapes of Wrath', one of her favorite novels she never got to finish. Classics were her forte, reading 'Catcher in the Rye', 'Pride and Prejudice', 'War and Peace', and many more she had completed in school and surprisingly on her own time. Her digits wrapped around the spine loosely to slide it out with care. It was hardback, and was definitely an early edition.

Held against her chest she gripped the strap of the duffel with her other hand and peeked around the corner, finally finding an all too familiar figure sitting at a table, reading a book just the governor and Martinez had said before.

She made her way over to stand behind him, a gentle poke on the shoulder making him jump before he glanced back to see her standing above him. She had on a pair of denim capri shorts and a loose white low racer bank tank decorated in an overlay of lace. She had taken lace and sewn it on, another one of her DIY outfits she had made during her nights settled in.  
His eyes moved up to see her smiling and with his duffel filled with clothes. "'Bout time ya got 'em back to me." He scoffed, resting his book on the table with a bookmark before he took the bag off her shoulder. Unzipped and open he glanced through to see everything sewn and in order. "Good. Happy to have shit back." Merle's voice in a quiet whisper she was surprised to say the least. She was used to his loud booming voice and very colorful dialogue, but he was quiet, and she enjoyed that.

"I see you're reading..." She chuckled, "that's a shocker to say the least. I didn't peg you as a reading type." His glare sent her into a fit of giggles. "I'm just being honest..."

Merle adjusted his arm to sit on the back of the chair, a smug grin rested on his lips. "For ya information, I enjoy reading. It's nice to get away from the geeks and the shits out there. Why ya interested? Ya wanna get to kno' ol' Merle?"

Carrie shrugged, shoulders hunched over as she moved to lean on the table. "Yeah, sure why not?" She didn't mind the idea, it'd be nice to have someone in town to talk to...even if they were a perverted, hick, freaky bastard. In this circumstance it was better than nothing. "I wouldn't mind it. Why...you don't want me to know you?"

"Hey now!" Merle growled, teeth in a sick grin. "There's 'lot of things I'd like to do, you wanna kno' Merle you'll be in for a bit sweetcheeks."

Her eyes wandered for a short second before they returned to Merle still staring up at her. "You make it sound like it's a challenge." She replied, now standing with her book tucked firmly under her arm. "I don't mind a challenge."

Merle scooted down in his chair, legs open he patted his thigh, still smiling at the girl. "I'll give ya a challenge princess."

"If you want me to know you, I'd prefer if you called me Carrie, okay Merle?" Behind her was the childrens' selection of books, leaving her stunned that he'd even say something like that when children were right there. Brow furrowed at her she leaned back on the shelf and snatched a lollipop in the kids bowl and unwrapped it. "Besides..." As she popped the sucker into her mouth she thought for a second, trying to figure out something Merle would say. "Don't you want me getting used to saying your name?" She replied coyly, lips in a tight smile before she turned to walk off.

"AY! Don't leave me hangin'!" Merle yelled, only to get the infamous 'shh' that you thought you'd only see on television. "Ah shaddap." He barked, chasing after her as she checked out the book, wrote her name down, and strolled out the door.

Book opened to the first page she began skimming the foreword, some were good in novels but many seemed to just bore her. She flipped forward to the author's note when she heard Merle yelling for her. Back turned she glanced over her shoulder to see him caught up to her in a matter of seconds. "Dammit, what ya tryin' to pull wit me?" He gasped, still watching her. "Don't be sayin' shit like that and be runnin' off! If ya wanna get to know Merle..." He snaked an arm around her shoulder, closing the book while she began reading the author's note. "Ya gotta let me show ya."

Carrie's lips puckered into a smart smirk before she turned to face him. "Consider it a challenge then Merle." The older man licked his lips, thinking the idea over. She had already been a pain in his ass, and in the weeks she had been there in Woodbury it had become something he was adjusted to. He couldn't say he liked her, he really didn't like anyone to say the least, but he could tolerate her. She wanted to know him, and that was more than what he could say others thought of him in a while. Before Merle could cut in Milton had ran over, eying the two of them with a bit of uneasiness.

Milton turned to face Merle and explained that he needed him before he turned to Carrie, gave a quick nod, and ran off again. A groan escaping his lips Merle ran his hand over his mouth before he turned to talk to her again. She was already gone.

In the short second that his attention was off her Carrie had raced off and to her space to get into her book. She ran up the steps and shot into the room before she locked it and fell onto the couch. With no interruptions she kicked her feet up, opened her book, pulled the lollipop out of her mouth, and delve into a world that didn't involve walkers, only the ultimate game of chess. Before she could even get into the first chapter she pulled the lollipop out, cotton candy flavor, and glanced it over. Guys really liked watching girls with lollipops, their interest was peaked the second girls had one, and now she finally got it. Face bright red she closed her book, Merle already was rubbing off on her.

But for a minute, in those fleeting seconds, she forgot about everything else. Her family, Woodbury, the walkers, the end of the world, and herself. She thought about something else, and it felt great.

* * *

**P/N: **Yay! It's done! Chapter three is complete and I go slap myself for a little bit! I spent the last two days non-stop watching walking dead, season two on DVD and season three so far on the computer. I looove Merle even more as I watch the episodes again and again. It's mad haha!

So yeah, Merle officially is bothered by Carrie and now the story sort of starts. I wanted to dive into Carrie's character a little bit more and I will be spending time with that in the next few chapters as she talks to Merle and the governor. And yes Carrie is in a little bit of a depression, being in the peace and quiet gives her time to think and all the events that have occurred are going through her mind, but maybe Merle brings her a peace of mind? I don't know but I have been a firm believer that guys love when girls have lollipops ever since I watched Torrie Wilson in WWF go down to the ring in her little outfits, puppy, and that lollipop. That and bananas!

So y'all know what to do! Leave a review cause they are what keep me writing! I can write this and not upload and just keep it to myself but I like seeing what people think is going to happen and how much they like this and that. Favorite and follow as well! Always up for new people to join me on my mad quest of loving Merle Dixon!

...it's a tough job dammit.


	4. Addicted

**Author's Note: **Did y'all know that Norman was in the music video 'Judas'? My brother loves lady gaga, he's 33 and a construction worker so that had me rolling because he listens to all metal and classic rock...and lady gaga. I was watching the Judas video cause we had been talking about gaga and I saw that Norman was Judas and I went into complete fangirl mode ASDFGHJKL x10000. He can be my Judas any day, puh-lease. Sorry, I just wanna touch him! ;)  
Daryl Dixon is the redneck I cling to~

But anyways, I'm happy at least a few people enjoy this story! It makes my day! Chapter inspired by the song 'Slide' by The Goo Goo Dolls.

Thanks for 10 follows and over 500+ views! I love it xo

* * *

The governor had invited Carrie to something she hadn't done in a very long time...breakfast. She sat across from Milton and the governor as Milton pulled out a folder with her name on it. Eyes wide she shot a worried look to the governor who froze, fork raised to his mouth for eggs before he glanced down to the folder. "Oh it's not what you think...Milton you could have been little more...subtle with your approach."

"My apologies." He murmured, folder opened with a few pages scattered on the table from it. Carrie returned to her breakfast, stomach grateful for the waffles and eggs, something she hadn't had in such a long time. "Would you like some more tea?"

The young woman's face lite up as she raised her cup for him to pour another cup. "You are a wonderful cook Milton. Being a scientist and knowing to cook always go hand in hand." The man gave a small smile before he poured her yet another cup and returned to organizing his papers. "Thank you for this by the way, it's been nice to do something..."

Her voice trailed off, trying to find words that could make some sense without being too much. "Homey?" The governor cut in, finishing what was left on his plate and taking a sip from his cup of tea as well. "Good breakfast Milton." He whispered, a nudge of approval sent to his right hand man.

Carrie snapped her fingers with a quick nod. "Exactly! I haven't done anything like this in over a year since this all began. It's unbelievable to think it's been a year..."

"And you fought that year all on your own. That's not right." The governor scooted his plate away before he rested an elbow on the table, chin planted firmly on his knuckles. "I don't understand how you survived to be honest. An eighteen year old girl fending for almost a year in the wilderness and hell that this world has turned to? Men my age can't even make it through a season on their own."

Her eyes left the focus of the governor and drifted off past the ceiling and into her memories. "It was hell...when the outbreak started I was in Florida, with family. I was only there because of looking at college because I didn't talk to them much. They were having a barbeque and I was upstairs..."

**x-0-x**

_Carrie sat in the guest bedroom she had been renting from her aunt and uncle, the house fairly large in the decent development they had lived in for years. She had packed up a lot of her stuff after graduating early and went south from rural Pennsylvania to live in Florida, almost an alternate universe to her. The college deals seemed bright with promise as she had read through them in emails, magazines, articles, and by word of friends and relatives. _

_The bedroom was clean and simple, cream walls, tanned wood floor, dresser, and doors. The bed was fairly large with a black bed frame and satin blue sheets. In a pair of denim shorts and a blue off the shoulder top with white cloud cartoons on it talking about the rain. Her hair was pulled back into a loose upper bun as she leaned against the window, eyes fixed on the family outside at their barbeque. All the family seemed so tight knit, conversing and running around the yard as music thumped through the home and around them. _

_A small sigh escaped her lips as she sat down with her plate. Baked ziti, meatballs, rigatoni, haddock, and pasta salad all piled large from before the group waved in for the afternoon. It wasn't that she hated them, she just had no common interest to relate to anyone there. They were nothing like the people back home, like nothing had sparked her to want to know any of them. _

_Mind drifting off into another world it was cut short just as quick as the power was. The television and radio had gone off, likewise the music outside. She heard people groaning and was shocked to see other families emerging out of their houses. Everyone had seemed to be yelling and freaking out over something. This community she had lived in was fairly quiet, they never even panicked in the middle of a storm or when there was a blackout; this was a problem. _

_Hands gripped the windowsill as she peered out, but with nothing to see from where she stood she was left without answers. Then a scream pierced the air. Window opened Carrie peered out and down to see the most disturbing thing she had ever witnessed. Her cousin Emily fell down on her knees, a creature, like a zombie, ripping the flesh out of her neck. Skin and grass running red the zombie continued to eat as others fled. Carrie ran over to her door and glanced around. With the dresser right next to it she pulled it to the door to keep it shut.  
"What the fuck is this shit..." She murmured, eyes fixed again on her cousin as she saw her Uncle Tom run out with a shot gun and fired at the creature. The bullet moved through it's head, causing it to explode as Emily toppled over, head hanging by the bone and a few tendons as it creaked over to the side. Her clothes, once so pretty, clean, and crisp, were covered in dirt and blood. _

_Attention now on her surroundings she heard screams in the house as everyone moved around. There was talk of everyone running up north to where her family was, others detesting the idea. Her stomach turned at the words, she'd give anything to be back home with her family if this was going on there. On impulse she snatched her smart phone to try to call them, only to get no signal. Everything was down. In not even an hour it had seemed like everything everywhere was down. The events playing out she saw something that horrified her when she glanced out the window again.  
Emily was standing up. _

_The young girl, who just had her shoulder and neck ripped out, was now standing, body hunched and head leaning off Carrie did the only thing she could do. She screamed. Emily glanced up, mouth open in a snarl as Carrie continued to scream. She could her uncle yelling and replied with the only thing he could say.  
"What the fuck are you talking about?!"_

_Ears perked at the sound of the downstairs doors opening only to fill the residence with shrieks of bloody murder. The house filled with sounds of screams, crying, and crashes. They had let Emily into the house. She could make out one voice, her Aunt Jeanie, trying to talk to Emily.  
"BABY! STOP! PLEASE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" The scream was cut off by a gun shot, leaving her aunt still crying and screaming. In that mess Carrie was shocked to hear the doors slam shut, engines gun, and take off down the road like many other cars did from the sight of her window. _

_After she pulled the dresser from the door she gently pulled it open, her voice a whisper as she glanced around. No one was there. They left her._

_Boiling over with rage she kicked the wall in front of her, dry wall cracking against her foot. "Son of a bitch! Those fuckers!" She growled, trying to make sense of the situation.  
She did realize one thing though, they didn't take any supplies. They literally grabbed the keys and left. There was still clothes, food and water all in the house. When she had regained her composure for that moment and the feeling in her foot she sat down with a battery operated radio and turned it on, waiting for word of what could happen next. In the hours she would find out what she needed and hunkered down for a while until she heard about Atlanta..._

_that would be her destination._

__**x-0-x**

Milton glanced over to The Governor who had been watching with interest, obviously shocked at the story. "So...they just left you? What family would leave their own?"

"When they don't give a shit about you." Carrie rebutted. "So I camped out for a while and moved out for Atlanta. I followed groups heading there, all either dealing with the geeks or anarchy and I just decided to go it on my own. My weapon I made before I left the house. They didn't have weapons, but I was able to take one of my uncle's gloves and a good knife we had in the kitchen and a few other knives, that was my weapon artillery until I met up with a group who upgraded me to my beautiful current concoction."

"That's what we're here to talk to you about." Milton chimed in, trying to clear his throat before he continued as Carrie finished her waffles. He pulled papers out of the folder and placed them next to her. "We elaborated and thought it'd be best to update your...creation since you seem to have gotten along quite well with it, it'd be great if we could have you..."

Carrie's brow rose at Milton's uneasy words when the governor cut in. "We'd like to have you come out with us on scavenge work, more like easy stuff, just to patrol the area and make sure nothing is going on. You seem to have a great record already with dealing with those undead bastards, the more help we have the better."

"So...I can go back to killing walkers?"

"As long as you can promise you'll keep sewing and keeping our clothes from falling apart, hell yeah why not!"

"You got yourself a deal!" Her hand extended she gripped the governor's firmly, feeling his bones in their power grip before a knock came at the door.

"Right on time!" The governor stood up and walked over to the door as Milton continued to show her illustrations of what he had planned.

"Well lookie, govena' ya playin' with jailbait?" Carrie glanced over her shoulder, chin rested on her hand with a sly smirk on her face. "Good mornin' princess." Merle moved over to the table and snatched her plate with his hand and took what food was left before he flipped a chair around and sat down between Milton and Carrie.

Carrie's lips pursed, glancing over his posture, it was god awful. "You can't even sit right?" The older man shot her a look before she handed him the glass bottle filled with syrup. He drenched the waffles before he glanced down to see the sketch of the new glove Carrie would be using.

Milton adjusted his glasses before picking up another paper to show Carrie. "Can you hold out your arm for me please?" Arm rose slowly, almost with caution, as Milton examined it before his eyes shot back to the papers in front of them. He snatched a piece of gauze out of his bag and wrapped it around her bicep and wrapped it again down on her forearm. "Measurements are just as I thought." Merle's eyes had locked right into Milton's hands moving the gauze off as the governor watched him. It was a sight to be seen.

"What's going on?" Carrie asked, voice shaky, unsure of what Milton was doing to her.

The Governor leaned back in his chair, finishing another cup of tea he poured himself. "Milton is getting your measurements for your weapon. I'm sorry it's taken so long to get back to you. We've been busy to say the least, but Sunday is always a day we get some of the...smaller things done so why not take on this project? Merle's gonna design it for you. He made that himself."

Her eyes widened as Merle propped his arm up on the table, allowing her to get a closer glance at the metal weapon. "You made it yourself?" She whispered, hand outstretched to run her hand over the cool metal. He flinched before she rested her hand on it, eyes attacking every detail of it before she pulled away, mouth agape. "How did you?"

"Fools leavin' medical shit 'hind. I was stumblin' bout all dehydrated and looped out my mind. Created this."

"It's absolutely..." A breath left her lips, leaving Merle with a dark smirk. "Amazing." She was stunned at what he had created. If he could engineer anything like that for her she'd be unstoppable.

"Made lots a shit like this in prison." His eyes caught hers widening at the mention of something a while ago. "Yeah, prison n shit, in n out. Figured out how ta make shit like this. Imma makin' yours to."

Carrie's glance shifted to the governor who sat with a grin on his face. "Go with him and he'll get it set up to fit your arm and then we'll have you go out and test it. Hold on." He stood up and walked over to a glass case filled with plates and items. Door opened he pulled the original makeshift weapon out and brought it over to her. "Here ya go. Merle don't be throwing it out, let her hold on to this. I'd be wanting to hold on to it to after it got me through a year of those undead bastards." The glove rested on the table in front of her before she snatched it and brought it to her chest. "So...since we're done, and Merle finished what you had left...I'll dismiss you two."

Merle shot up and turned the chair around as Carrie stood up slowly, pushing both the chairs in before she shot him a glare. "Come on sweetcheeks. We gots work ta do."

**x-0-x**

"This be where Milton does his work." Merle watched her carefully, making sure she didn't go anywhere she shouldn't have. The place was a little bit on the dark side, filled with tables that were empty and cabinets loaded with folders. "Don't be touchin nothin, got it?" She quickly nodded in response before he waved her over to an empty table under a light.

The metal was ice cold, a cool relief on her legs from the warming temperatures outside. He had disappeared shortly while she glanced around. It was a strange place to say the least, but nothing she concerned herself with. Legs kicked to the air lightly, waiting on Merle to return with whatever he went to get.

After a few minutes he reemerged with a black bag full of metal and tools. Bag sat next to her he pulled out what he needed to and took the glove from her thigh. "How long ya had this thing?"

"Since it started." She replied, her voice a whisper. She hadn't been in a situation like this before, and it frightened her.

Merle's lips moved into his sly grin, admiring the girl. "Put it on for ol' Merle, lemme see 'ow it looks on ya." She snatched it back from him and slid the loose glove over her hand. It was worn and heavy and had a few tears in it. "This ain't no girls glove."

"It was my uncles. He was an engineer, so this was what he'd use while he was working on stuff at home. Could withstand just about anything." Carrie took the glove off again and handed it back to him. "So you're gonna be pimping out my weapon?" The older man chuckled at her choice of words before she spoke again. "I...I appreciate this."

"Don't be sayin that shit now." He growled, eyes slanted toward her while he pulled out a few brace pieces, a screw driver, and a tape measurer. "Gimme ya arm." Without any word she quickly raised it, muscles tensing as soon as his fingers made contact with her skin. They were calloused, rough, and somehow good on her skin. She could feel the goosebumps on her as he pulled the tape around her bicep to get the correct measurement. "Oooh, my hands cold on ya girl?" He glanced down to see her look away, goosebumps still standing on her arms and soon after her legs. It was electric.

Merle had jotted down her numbers before he brought the arm brace out to wrap around her arm, the cold metal actually making her shiver. It was hardly enough to say he enjoyed her squirming. The cold metal, someone touching her, her skin and mind was alive; and it was all because of him. Body leaned back she rested on her free arm as he continued to work on her weapon. He had gotten the brace is tact pretty quickly and now came the hard part. "If you want to sit down...you can." Voice hardly anything but a whisper he peaked at her face to see her watching him with a harsh focus. "You'd be a lot comfortable, I can scoot over."

"Don't be temptin' me." He muttered, sliding the glove back on her arm. She had locked her arm for him to do whatever he needed, light muscle definition visible under the light above them. It seemed like her uncle had been a larger man, the glove fairly large as it engulfed her forearm. "Imma add a brace to the wrist...it be sumthin' for tha blade." As he fiddled with the rest of the structure she began to fidget and squirm, obviously spending most of the morning and early afternoon on this. "Ya wanna move ya best get into a new position cause I need a' attach the blade."

Carrie thought about it, where she could sit comfortably to still allow him to get the blade on before she ended up lying down on the table, arm extended. He turned to the bag and pulled out a long blade, almost as long as his, and held it carefully. Before he had even got the blade set she could feel her mind drifting off. She could feel herself easing off from the tension she had felt for so many hours when he pulled over a stool and sat down. "Don't know why you didn't do that earlier.." She whispered, head turned to face him. Merle had to admit, he was struggling to remain focused when she had been staring at him the entire time. The governor wanted this done, and what his orders were had always come first. Without the governor he wouldn't be alive, he'd have been a doped out walker meal in a short matter of time.

She had to admit, she didn't like the silence. All the time she had spent in Woodbury, Merle was a loudmouth she could never get to shut up; he was always talking about something or ranting at whoever, either way...it made her laugh. She hadn't laughed as much as she did while she was at Woodbury. She knew when she had to do extra work, take care of what needed to be done, and take whatever orders she had to. Now she'd be able to defend Woodbury if need be and she'd have her best weapon on her.

Since he wasn't talking she did the next best think she could think of. She fell asleep. Her body had slacked off, allowing him to move her are as needed to get the blade in at the right angle, and if it had to, be detached.

While he had been working he took a few short glances up at her, sound asleep, chest heaving lightly as her face remained calm. A woman sleeping sound without booze, sex, or pills was a strange sight to him, it was a relief to see her sleeping without any of that. It had been a little bit since she had made her way into Woodbury and was now a thorn in his side he didn't want to lose. Merle cursed himself under his breath admitting that she was someone he didn't want to see die or bitten by a walker. Blade now secured in he glanced up to the window in the top of the building, it had to be at least mid-afternoon. It was time for a test drive.  
"Ay princess, wake up." He nudged her quickly, only to get her to turn to face him. Teeth writhed into his lip as he watched her, mind flashing with ideas and things he had thought about before he leaned in closer, studying her face just for a few more seconds before he brushed the hair off the side of her face. He could easily pull her up and wake her up and do what he wanted to for weeks to her on the table, but that'd be even stupider than what he'd done before. The governor wouldn't be too happy with him doing that either, and it could cost him a lot.

He wasn't the brightest in the box, but he wasn't a moron.

"Wake the hell up sweetass." He growled, pulling her up by the arm to get her to finally stir. Carrie rubbed her eye before she glanced down to see him holding on to her.

"Hello.." She purred, still seeming half asleep, "are you done?" Mouth opened wide to a yawn she stretched out, Merle dodging her arm's new equipment before she returned to sitting up right. "Oh...sorry. Nice job." Fingers ran over the brace and down to the blade, it was put together nicely. "You're really handy, thank you Merle."

"Ya owe me." Merle barked, bag zipped again and carried off into the dark before he returned back out adjusting his blade on his own piece of what was basically artwork. "I'd ask fa that now but I'd want ya wide awake." He flashed a smile in her direction before she could feel heat pooling in her cheeks. "So, let's go test tha fucker out."

Eyes lite up at his words while he adjusted the blade. "So we finally get to kill some walkers?" He moved over to her, sauntering as he held his blade up. "Let's go." Carrie jumped off the table and jumped next to him. "I wanna kill some geeks...I've been dying to for weeks." Lips hissed out the addiction she had found in the wake of the zombie apocalypse, lighting up Merle's attention as they walked out of the building and through the back gates of Woodbury. "Gonna be a good time."

**x-0-x**

The two climbed to the top of the bus to see a few of the walkers sauntering around the grassy area, all groaning and moaning. Carrie's attention turned to the surroundings of the location outside the wall. "Was this place not saved in time?" She whispered, looking to Merle for some sort of understaning.

"Dunno, wasn't here long enough fa that. If ya see any golf balls." He jumped down over the bus and reached back up to her. "Pick em up. The govena plays gold ova here."

Carrie couldn't help but laugh at the image of the governor, leader of Woodbury, standing on a bus with a golf club yelling _"FORE!"_ as he hit zombies in the head with gold balls. Stare moving down to his hand she reached out in return, grip locked firmly into his before she jumped. Carrie could feel how smooth her skin was compared to his, covered in calluses and wrecked in scars, and in a strange way it felt good to her. Her hair parachuted as she jumped down to meet him holding on to her. "Let's have some fun, round one. Let's test this bitch."

"Now ya talkin' my language." He growled, following her as they pushed forward, moving through the walkers in their sight with the blades. The brace was tighter on her and held her back a little bit more, but it allowed her to deliver a stronger blow in the shorter range. Whether it as stabbing them through the chin, slicing them on the neck, stabbing them in the forehead, or just plain decapitating them she was able to get it all done.  
Merle watched on, frame leaned back as he could see her finding a strange pleasure in getting rid of every walker in Woodbury territory. He licked his lips as she finished off another walker by stabbing it through the temple and letting it fall to the ground.

What was different was the new urge to defend her home, to defend Woodbury, and the people that inhabit it. She felt the need to defend the civilians, the governor, and fight for the few people she cared about now.  
By the time curfew had almost rolled around Carrie had still been going strong, Merle chipping in when he needed to. Otherwise he loved the sight of her moving and breaking down every one of the damn geeks that came near her. Finally the area had been cleared for a few minutes as they stood around, waiting to see if any more would emerge.

"Thinkin that's it." He whispered, holding a finger to his lip. "Ya did good. Didn't know ya ass could actually fight. Follow me, we gon go round the gate."

The two began to walk, Carrie's attention fixed on Merle as he continued to speak about using the blade properly. "If ya work it and use it an angle, ya get a good fountain of tha fuckers."

"Sounds like a good time. Felt good killing some of those bastards, it'd been a while."

"You was wound up that's for sure, but ya always are."

"Shut up." Carrie growled, glare directed to Merle as he raised his arms. "Don't tell me I'm wound up when YOU are a walking twister buddy boy."

"Oooooh, someone's a smartass, reckon to get her ass smacked." Ignoring his comment she walked ahead, waiting for him to catch up before they got to the gate. "Lemme wave em over to open tha damn thing. Pain in my ass."

Carrie stopped to turn around and raised her hands. "Hold on a second!" She whispered, hands paused at his chest. "Thanks, you know, for all the help. You could have just killed me in the woods, the governor could have kicked me out, I could have not had the opportunity for any of this. Thank you for making me feel welcome, I appreciate it."

Merle chuckled, hand in his pocket as he glanced down at her. "Don't be speakin like that, ya makin a deal with the devil."

"I'm just saying thank you..." She giggled. "I'm not one of...those kinds of girls. But I can do this." She pushed up on the tips of her feet, lips pressed to his for a short second. Her teeth grazed her lip and his for a second before planted a quick second one, enjoying the moment of completely freezing him. In her gut she had been right, and it was something she had wanted to do for quite a while. That split second she could taste the sweat and musk that had rolled onto his lip from killing geeks and working on her weapon all day, and to her it tasted great. She jumped back before he could hold on to her and pushed ahead to the gate and waved for Martinez. "Thank you." She grinned, licking her lips before she turned away and went through the gate.

He rubbed the scruff on his face, rubbing his lips together to hold on to her taste a little bit longer. She tasted like sweet tea and hashed potatoes for some reason, it wasn't like mint or fluoride like he'd expect before the world went to hell, but in this time it was a treat. Merle followed her from a distance until she got to the building and his sight of her was lost. He had a million thoughts swimming through his head, and they needed to be..._taken care of.  
_"Goddammit."

* * *

**Author's Note:** ALRIGHTY! SEXUAL TENSION! Woop! I still don't plan on doing smut or anything like that unless I really work on it and develop something. This was more about seeing their relationship push forward because now it's been a little bit longer she's been in Woodbury, going on a few months. Buuuuut, things aren't gonna be good for too much longer. But yes, for people wondering, she is attracted to him, I incorporated a bit of myself with that. I find Michael Rooker delicious soooo.  
I also wanted to introduce you guys to how Carrie found herself in the zombie apocalypse and how it all started. I hope to do a little bit more maybe with working on a few of her battles with the walkers and a few standoffs.

ALSO! ALSO ALSO ALSO! I wanted to make this a little bit longer because I just found out Michael and Norman are going to be in Philly at a convention in late May early June and GUESS who's going? ME! I cried tears of joy I swear to you! I bought, with my own money, the Norman VIP and I'll be splitting the hotel bill in half with my mom and paying for the amtrak, and if I have to I'll help pay for the cab service. I'm so happy :') I'm gonna meet my sexy men, I'm gonna get myself in a dixon sandwich dammit.

So pretty turtles, leave a review, I hope I can get more reviews as I continue writing this but I think I might go to maybe 12 chapters. I don't wanna do this for more than 15. Follow and favorite, show me some love since I'm gonna be meeting the two sexiest men in the world (ahhhhhhh!)


	5. Chapter 5

Hi guys, this is just a little update because I just wanted to address something. I don't know if I'm gonna continue this or not to be honest. It's not that I don't love writing this, I really do, I even started working on a smut that I'd most likely keep to myself involving Carrie and Merle, and a few bonus chapter things, but it's just the fact that I don't get a lot of reviews.

This story has gotten quite a few views, but people don't seem to want to follow it so I don't think I'm gonna continue it.

I'm sorry but it's just something that I feel like I haven't done a real good job writing if people don't care to review and that's the fact that reviews do keep the story going. If you publish chapters that you spend all day on and you're blessed to get one to two reviews, as much as you love them, you're left feeling a little bit winded because all the views come pouring in but people don't want to leave a comment or anything.

I am in NO way trying to make the people that do review my stuff feel bad, I freaking LOVE you guys! You're why I post the chapters every time I finish them and review them! The only reason I'm addressing it like this is because of the simple fact that I don't want to leave you guys hanging with no updates and people going 'what the hell?', I just wanted to clear that up!

Eventually I think I'll come up with a new idea or I may come back to this, but in the mean time I think I'm done with it, the roll of momentum has slowed down and there isn't much to back it up. Soooo, enjoy the weekend :D

- xo Lindsey


	6. Getting Started

**Author's Note: **I spent a little time deciding whether or not to continue this, thought about it, and decided to. Honestly I feel like I need to especially after the what we all saw on the walking dead...I CALL FUCKING BULLSHIT. I cried my eyes out and I had to eat chocolate and help heal my broken heart. But on tumblr I was talking to a few people and we all agreed on one thing: although it was Merle's last episode: it was his sexiest. My ovaries exploded from the start of the show to him using Michonne's sword, to him hot wiring the car, kicking her out, and ultimately him sitting in the car drinking and listening to motorhead (GET IN MAH BED NOW.) haha but anyways, yeah, I'm a wreck right now and the only way I can help ease the terrible pain I am feeling is to write this. I want your guys opinions on this though: when I do end the story (I plan on doing about 12 to max 15 chapters) would you guys want an ending that is based off what actually HAPPENS in the show...or an AU ending where he returns to the prison? Let me know in a review or PM puhlease buttercups. Thank you :)

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"I miss my iPod." Carrie barked, sitting with Martinez up on the wall as she surveyed the area. After what had been constant ass kissing and begging and pleading, she had gotten onto the line to have a little bit of fun with the walkers. Martinez had given her an assault rifle that he taught her to shoot fairly quickly, the only issuing being the throwback on her shoulder. The young woman sat cross legged on the wooden floor at the peak of the wall, gun rested and pointing out between her legs. "I had motorhead, anthrax, skillet, iron maiden, some beatles and aerosmith...damn I'm never gonna hear that music again." She frowned, realizing again how much had changed in the time since this all had started. "I'll never even go to a concert or a festival."

Martinez stood next to her, his frame casting a shadow from the sun. "Quit ya whining, I miss my wife and family..."

"I'm sorry for your loss." She whispered. "You have what you miss, and I have mine. My family wasn't the greatest...when you look out for yourself your priorities change Ceasar." The two stood there as she continued to speak. "I didn't really have much before the breakout anyways, my iPod was my fucking golden duck. I bought that sumbitch with my own money, downloaded the songs off the internet..." At the realization of what she just admitted she trailed off, eyes shifting to see Martinez glaring at her with a smirk. "Don't tell the governor!" The short growl turned into a laugh between the two. "Maybe it's the sun making me crazy though...I miss sunglasses, and sun screen. The little kids got it! The little shits are pale as fuck and I'm looking like a graham cracker!"

Casear howled at the comparison. "So whats that making me then?"

Carrie pursed her lips, trying to quickly think up a smartass remark. She was on a roll with getting Martinez to laugh, something she hadn't really done before in the months she had been there. "A-rod?"

"FUCK OFF." He yelled, shoving her in the shoulder. "I am actually offended from that! Bruja!"

"Hey! I do know some Spanish! Cierra la boca, polla!"

The two glared at each other before laughing again, leaving them still watching the wall as the world seemed to stand still for a short time. Martinez continued to walk back and forth as Carrie sat cross legged, seeing if any walkers would eventually move out through the woods and the cars. After what had seemed forever she smiled as a voice picked up when a figure climbed the ladder.

"What ya shitheads doin while ol Merle was patrollin?"

"Spanish lessons and sex." Carrie whispered, eying Martinez with a sharp glare. She slowly turned to see Merle leaning against the wall up on the top of the barricade, glaring at her with a cocky grin smoothed over his lips. "I'm learning for when we work at Taco Bell in the upcoming years cause that shit gotta come back."

"You are a terrible person." Martinez joked, moving past Merle to stand on the side of the wall. The older Dixon walked over, blocking the sun again like Martinez had earlier.

He watched her carefully for the split second she couldn't tell, eyes tracing every move she made before she sat up. She had on a pair of daisy dukes and a black tank top, about as limited and tight as you were going to get, and he enjoyed the sight. Carrie's hair had been pulled back into a messy bun as it sat high up on her head. "Ya look good on ya back princess."

She crossed her arms before she stood up, a glare shot in his direction before he opened his arms. "Ew. Don't touch me." He played up the moment, his face twisting to appear hurt before he stepped closer. "Don't you fucking do it!" As he moved closer she backed up until he had basically cornered her. "Goddammit." A hiss escaped her lips before he wrapped his arms around her and carried her back. Caesar continued to watch in laughter as he kept his arms around her, hand eventually smacking her ass before he dropped her. "You fucking pervert, old man." Carrie could feel the heat pool in her cheeks and blast over the rest of her body as she adjusted her shorts. "I told you not to touch me." Merle shrugged, still standing behind her. "I don't need your ass patting or your...poking and prodding." Martinez couldn't help but turn away and laugh as she called him out on his handy work. That's how it had been for weeks now since she had gotten her weapon back because Merle designed it. He would be hugging her and picking her up and grabbing her and she'd have no say.

"Aw, suga ya know ya like it." He chimed, still watching her. Their time was quickly drawn to a close as walkers appeared out of the woodwork, leaving the three to handle it. Martinez had already shot one when Merle and Carrie had grabbed their guns. The brunette watched in interest as he maneuvered the assault rifle quickly on his mechanism and shot the shells, no issues at all. Merle glanced up to see her watching with a twisted smile on her face. "Help us out! Get ya gun and shoot, like we taught ya!" She quickly moved into the stance Merle had taught her, long and strong, shoulders back and eye taught right on the focus when she pulled the trigger, knocking the next walker down in a clean swipe. She continued with the others before she turned back to Merle, her smile flourishing into a grin. After the last walker was taken out she dropped the gun and reached up to hug him.

"I did it! I actually got the pieces of shit!" She cheered, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Martinez watched in shock at the sight when just minutes ago she was backing away from even letting him near her. If it wasn't the twilight zone, Caesar didn't know what else would be a better example. "I like shooting the walkers! It's fun!" She sang, still attached to him as Merle continued to watch her, focus fixed solely on her pressed against him. It felt great. "Thank you for teaching me how to shoot them, I appreciate it! The more I can take out the funner it seems to get!"

He waited for her to let go before he spoke up, arms crossed as he watched her glance around. "Yous an evil lil thang ain't ya?" Shoulders shrugged she chuckled at the idea of the adjective 'evil' to describe her, it was always one of her favorites. Carrie couldn't even count all the names she had been called; by friends, enemies, family, teachers, anyone who had detested her used every word they could think of to describe her.

"I am as evil as they get." She purred, leaning over to see Martinez. "Hey, you got any cigarettes?"

Caesar groaned, opening his pocket he pulled the pack out and pulled a single one out. "Mooch." Gruff growls escaped his throat as he tossed the cigarette to the girl, the lighter following right after. She pushed the stale cigarette between her lips and cupped it as she got the lighter to finally go after a few tries. When she lowered the lighter she had caught it in the corner of her eye Merle watching her, lips parted in a small grin as he leaned back, a hand wrapped on his belt.

Carrie tossed the lighter back to him and pulled the cigarette out of her mouth before she spoke up. "What are you lookin' at Dixon?"

Merle sauntered closer, still eying her like before. "Ooooh, you're turnin' into a pistol ain't ya, I like that." He had noticed the small changes in her as she had grown accustomed to Woodbury in her time. When she had gotten there she was a polite, sweet, and actually quiet girl who kept to herself. In the past few weeks though, especially after she had gotten her glove back, it was a change that he certainly had enjoyed. Carrie was louder, more brash, and didn't really leave room for what she used to be. The fact that she was even smoking was something he didn't expect out of a girl that looked so sweet.

She could fool a preacher, but not an executioner. "The govena ain't gon like that ya smokin sweetheart."

Dark eyes darted over to him and to Martinez, who watched with a shit eating grin on his face that turned into small laughter. "And my meter of giving a shit has been empty for over a year Merle." She winked at Caesar who bent over, trying to keep from busting into loud laughs. In a weird way she entertained him; when she had gotten there he wasn't too sure if she'd be someone useful, but the governor had faith in her and she had proved herself over time as someone to rely on. She could sew, she could fight, and she made a mean breakfast. "I don't know how to refill it, that shit broke, I ain't a mechanic. Do I look like a mechanic to you?" She threw her arms up, cigarette in her mouth and gun hanging on the strap she pulled over her arm.

"You lookin like somethin to me." Merle rebutted, still trying to get her to turn red. That had been his mission for a few weeks now in between the governor's orders and doing recon in the woods and surrounding vicinities. She was his latest challenge, and it was a fight he had been in since she had first gotten there. "I can work on ya angel."

Carrie's brow rose as he moved closer, the three standing together on the platform of the gate as the rest of the town went about their day. She pulled the cigarette out of her mouth as Martinez finally lit his. "You...you are one creepy motherfucker. You're too broken to function, can't even repair your ass."

He shook his head before he glanced up at her from where he was leaning. "Now ya sayin' my engine ain't good? May not be one of them fancy new cars, but I got a Cadillac ready for ya, just say the word and I'll take ya on a ride."

She covered mouth, coughing between the cigarette and her embarrassment. "You REALLY just said that? OH MY GOD." Carrie couldn't help but laugh, she had heard quite a few lines as a teenager where she grew up; where men in their fifties and sixties would stand along the gas station and whistle and talk about girls that weren't even eighteen. This though, was a new one she hadn't heard before, at least not in real life. Maybe in bad movies and bad porno films she had gotten the chance to sneak peak at with her friends when she was younger. "That is the most bullshit statement I have ever heard in my life! You're certainly an act all of your own Merle, no one like you."

"Ain't ya a sweetheart?" He mocked, glaring at her as they continued discussing the issue at hand; Merle's corny yet perverse choice of words. That sadly ended as the governor had climbed up onto the wall to stand with them. "Ya might wanna get ya girl in check govena."

Carrie turned red as she had almost finished the cigarette. She quickly threw it down and stomped it out, but it was too late when he had made his way over and picked up the butt. He held the almost done cigarette in between his fingers before he glanced down at her and back to the two men. "You two should be better influences. I'm sorry we don't have the...cream of the moral crop, but don't be making choices like these...men. Ya still a young lady."

"Yes sir." She whispered, cheeks a warm pink at the choice of the governor's words. Something about him was absolutely charming. He had a classic southern feel about him, a smooth gentleman that knew exactly what to say and would have you melting in the palm of his hand. In the mess of men she had been spending her days with protecting Woodbury and delivering clothes to, the governor was always a breath of fresh air to her whenever she did run into him.

The governor gave a small smile in return before he turned to the two men standing a little bit away before he spoke in their direction. "We're gonna be heading out tonight for a recon, sorry Carrie you'll be on sewing again for a few days...we'll have to take you away from the wall for a little bit!"

"That's alright, I think my skin will appreciate not being burnt for a little bit." Carrie had to admit, she missed being pale and the porcelain skin she used to have before all of this happened and before she turned into G.I. Carrie. Now she was tan and almost positive somewhere down the road she'd get skin cancer. That was not an image she wanted to hold on to.

After the governor had left the wall and disappeared somewhere into the street Carrie had returned to sitting down on the wall and glanced back up to Martinez who had patrolled over in her direction now, leaving Merle alone. "I miss chinese food, and victoria's secret, and dresses, and heels. I miss a lot of shit."

Martinez chuckled at her mentioning victoria's secret, typical woman. "My wife always loved lookin' in there. Never could afford that shit, it was too expensive, but it was nice to look, they had some sexy shit."

"Duh, the real secret was how women could afford it! I saved up for my shit from there! I even still have some clothes that I had thrown in my bag, they're worn but fuck, nice to have a luxury in this fucking world." She hadn't really spoken like that with Martinez before, but it was nice to see him without his bat, without the pressure, and without the hassle of fighting walkers at the same time. "I loved going there...maybe that will be something Woodbury can create here! Governor!" She yelled, pretending to get his attention. "Build a victoria's secret here! Make your females more comfy! It was Caesar's idea!" As soon as his name was mentioned he hid his face, a shade of red she hadn't seen before taking over. "Ah you're blushing! YES!"

"Ya talkin' bout dental floss and ain't even includin' me? Cunt."

"Well...that's something they also covered. Gotta look sexy before you go THAT far Merle." Martinez shook his head, astounded that of ALL the people that put up with him, including himself, the governor, the men and women of Woodbury, and Milton, she was the one to call him out on his shit. Ladies loved him in Woodbury, and it still surprised Caesar every day. What the hell was it about a racist, redneck, one handed (of all things) son of a bitch that these ladies loved? Whatever it was, it was slowly working it's way into Carrie as well.

"Talk dirty to me sweetheart." Merle growled, leaning next to Martinez as she picked up the rifle and spotted a walker off in the distance. Carrie quickly pulled the trigger and knocked it down before her attention returned to Merle, now standing over her. "Ya just don't know when to shut ya mouth do ya?"

"Pot."

"What?"

"I'm a kettle."

"Wha the fuck are ya talkin bout?" Martinez threw his hands into the air as Merle continued on his rant. "I...oh you's a cunt. Fuckin' smart fuckin mouth cunt."

"Say fuck to me again Merle." She breathed out, exaggerating her words as he leaned over, still glaring at her with a dark intent in his eyes. "Now that you get it...nice to welcome you to the conversation." She extended her hand, only for it to drop as the man continued to glare at her. "What crawled up your ass?..." Carrie stopped for a second, a deep chuckle rumbling in her throat. "Never mind, I don't wanna know. So tell us Merle...Caesar and I already said what we miss, how about you?...I think it may be clear but still."

Merle stood up, seeing the afternoon heat finally beginning to fade as clouds began to move in to cool the area. "Ain't you a smart bitch, ha ha, so funny. I ain't a lefty...I miss mah pills. Had a stash I think someone took...mah motorcycle-"

"You had a motorcycle?" Carrie cut in, eyes lite up at the mention of a motorcycle. Merle's lips parted into a grin; NOW he had her. Of all the things, all the ideas he had to win her over, that was all it took?

Merle crossed his arms before he moved to stand behind her, watching her as she tilted her head back as far as it could go. She was like a child at the idea of him having a motorcycle. "Now ya wanna hear me?" She continued to watch, eyes wide and lips in a curled smile as he perused her demeanor. "Wouldn't ya like to ride my motorcycle princess. I'll let ya ride me, don't ya worry."

"The closest you will EVER get to me riding YOU is on that motorcycle Dixon." She hissed back, heat warming her cheeks as she still sat under him. "Shame you lost it though..." When the gears in her mind spun, there was no stopping the genius that was at work. Carrie gently nibbled on her bottom lip, teeth tugging against the bright red natural color she had. "I love a man with a bike."

"Now ya do, do ya?" She shrugged, attention now off him and back to the sight along the outside of Woodbury; no walkers at all.

"There's something I've thought about as well...we don't even know what month...or even what day of the week it is anymore. Like we don't even know our birthdays or when holidays are anymore." She tapped her fingers against her chin, knees pulled up to her chest as she continued the train of thought. "I mean, I know when this all went down I was eighteen, but how long has it been? How old am I now? How long have we fought?"

Martinez glanced around, the question now hanging in the air had gone through his mind as well. "Who the hell knows...it seems like it's been a damn long time though."

Carrie turned her attention to Merle, who moved his hand over his mouth, thinking just as Martinez has for her question. "I ain't got no clue. Been a damn long time..."

"I was talking to the governor about it, him and Milton estimate it's been over a year. Otherwise...we have no real order in the world anymore...do we?"

The three remained silent for the rest of their shift, all wondering just how much time had passed since this had all began. Their families, friends, livelihoods, dreams, errors; it was all gone in the flow of time that the world had forgotten about.

Carrie had pursued the thought of her family back home and up north. How quickly they had probably been killed off, if they even went to fight like she had. Her parents, her cousins, the people she hadn't cared about were now an almost distant memory. The realization had scared her but she had to admit; she was forgetting what people looked like. Her classmates, teachers, old friends and people she swore she'd never forget...she was slipping in the reality that everything in the past was really gone. Eyes drifted over to the two men standing on the other side of the gate, she wondered what they had gone through. She knew a little bit about Caesar, but not everything. Merle, on the other hand, had been something a little bit different. All she knew was that he had a brother named Daryl, who was out there somewhere, and he had been left for dead when he had to cut his own hand off. She also knew he had an issue with drugs and alcohol. The governor had informed her a little bit about him when he thought she was moving into 'dangerous waters' weeks before.

Carrie's mind had taken her into deep thought for what she thought was a short bit, when it turned out to be hours. She had been interrupted in her understanding when she heard the evening guards talking to Martinez and Merle. "Hey! Princess! Come on!" Now collected she pulled her rifle over her shoulder and walked over to the ladder. The others had climbed down before she had even stepped onto the rung.

After she had climbed down she turned to see the two already disappeared. A frown took over her face as she grit her teeth. Usually she didn't have to walk alone but she understood that the conversation they had could have sparked them to go into their own deep thought.

Carrie had crossed her arms, the air cooling as it moved into the evening, the members of Woodbury all retreating into their homes for curfew on time. She let her hair down from it's loose bun and shook it out, her hair frizzed and split at the ends she had always wanted to grow her hair out. Her mother never really liked her having long hair, and Carrie could recall growing up where she wouldn't be allowed to have it styled like girls in school or grow past her neck. Now it had grown down to her chest, and she enjoyed having those extra inches to play with. She could braid them, twirl her hair around her fingers, and just have fun with it.

"Ya need an escort?" Carrie glanced over to see Merle moving next to her before he stretched up, still watching her. "Ya was takin ya damn time. Thought ya might need someone ta walk ya back."

"Ain't you a gentleman." Sarcasm dripped off her tone as she continued to walk, arms crossed over her chest. "I'm sorry...if I upset you about earlier. You know...talking about how much time has passed. I-I know you miss your brother."

"I don't need ya damn sympathy." He groaned, obviously disgusted with her statement. "I don't want ya pity, keep those feelins to yaself."

"It wasn't pity, it was understanding, I wouldn't pity you for all that's left in the world." She hissed back, offended by his choice of words.

Merle glared down at her as they walked, attracting the attention of a few town goers as they passed. "Least we got some understandin." He muttered.

"Hard to understand you when you got an accent so thick it's a god damn drawl." She replied, eyes still facing ahead. "Don't glare at me ya hick."

"Watch ya tone." The two finally connected their glances, a small burst of laughter rising between them. "Ya piss me off I swear, pain in my ass."

The two had made their way back to the building the leaders and their assistants inhabited before they stepped through the door into the air conditioning. Merle turned behind him to lock the door as the stret lights came on. "Right on cue. Good timin."

Carrie leaned on her leg, watching the lights grow brighter until they created a decent light source for the town. "It is nice that we got some lights, it's crazy to think Milton helped rig the solar panels and the wind power. This place has actual power, hot water, it's great. It's like nothing really happened here besides the barricades and carrying weapons..." She glanced back to see Merle still watching her, eyes locked on her while she had been talking about Milton's achievements. "What?"

The two stood in quiet for a few minutes before she went to speak, "What's up with you?" While she tried to figure out what it was, it clicked the second she found herself in a position she wasn't used to. The older man had grabbed her face and pulled it in, lips only a hair apart she glanced up at him. She tried to find something to say, something to comprehend what was going on, but she had been left with nothing.

"Shut up." He growled. "You been drivin me crazy for weeks now. Just shut up." His breath was hot on her face and neck, allowing her a second to float before she felt his mouth smashed on hers.

It was playing the dealer's hand, dancing with the devil, opening the door for the monsters; and it couldn't have been any better.

Her lips were soft compared to how rough his mouth and jaw was, covered in stubble and more calloused than hers was. Carrie reached up to his neck, finally wrapping her arm around him she felt herself melt underneath his weight. She hadn't noticed how tall he really was compared to her smaller frame until just then. A smile moved over her lips in the brief second she could find before she pulled herself away, lips red from the impact he had left. He wiped her bottom lip with his thumb, the rough digit meeting a smooth surface that he wasn't used to. "Goddamn." A low rumble broke through his throat before he stepped back. Carrie could see the frustration on his face as she bit her lip, body still almost ricocheting inside itself to understand what had just happened.

"Merle..." She whispered, trying to get a response from him. Carrie's voice was raspy, clamoring for more. Merle complied as he yanked her in again, smashing his mouth over hers with a harder brush as he could taste her again. The girl was a completely different feel than what he was used to; she was putty in his hands unlike the demeanor she had shown him for months. When he pulled away she pushed forward, nibbling on his bottom lip before he took a deep breath. He rubbed the stubble on his chin before he glanced down to her. A hand extended to grab his arm she was met with him pulling her in closer, eyes searching for some sort of answer. The pressure of his frame on her was enormous, she was swallowed in him without even getting the opportunity to pull him down to at least ease the pain she felt being short. When she thought she could kiss him again he pushed her away again. Merle pushed his hand over his head, brushing the hair that had been growing over what was a buzz cut almost a year ago.

"You're gon be the death of me." He barked, frustrated at the realization of what he had just done. Before he could say anything else he walked ahead, still cursing under his breath as he had walked up the stairs, leaving her still at the door. When she heard a door slam shut she made her way up and to her small space.

Settled in and body relaxed, a warm pool had filled in her stomach as her body remained almost on fire. What she had just done, she thought she'd never do, and it had been much better than she thought it would have been. Carrie didn't have the...highest expectations of him, but those had just been immediately squashed. Finally when her body had stopped screaming for him and telling her to go kick his door in, she thought about what she had said earlier in that day. She had lost everything, but gained something back in return. She had a home, she had a community, a job, an insurance policy for herself...

and now...

something that she was invested in.

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**Author's Note: **Weeeeee~ Something completely out of my comfort zone, but what the fuck why not try it! I had the idea of the three of them on the wall and I just expanded from there. Carrie's love for motorcycles comes from yours truly and since Merle has one (BUT NEVER FUCKING GETS IT BACK) I just decided to go with it. The conversation she had with Martinez was just shooting the shit, I like him more and more sooo.  
Can I just say, to get my fangirling out, that Mere sitting in the car with his whiskey and motorhead blasting was one of the sexiest things I've ever seen?! I have no shame! Proud to fangirl...

And YES, it is on like donkey kong between Merle and Carrie; now we got the pot stirring! ;) But I'm gonna start moving into the main plot cause I'd like to not do more than 15 chapters, I feel like 20 would drag it out so the first third of the story is basically over here. We've introduced Carrie and introduced her to Merle. My feels after the past episode are off the fucking charts, I need a hug, and some chocolate.

Leave a review, favorite, and follow. Also let me know, I'm asking for opinions, if you guys would want me to do an ending that would use the ACTUAL story plot, or an AU type of thing where Merle comes back. I have an idea for how I'd write it but I'd rather the readers give me an idea for what they'd like to see.

Thank you!


	7. Searching for Signs

**A/N: **God, this is so hard to write now that Merle is gone...wtfff. I feel not so alone in the fact that other writers who posted chapters have also said they felt unsure to continue after his death. I haven't been this affected by a character's death before. So sad still...  
Warning! This is a little bit smutty ;) I gave it a shot considering I've gotten reviews and even PMs now about how much y'all want to see them as a couple instead of just the flirting and shit haha.  
Most of you guys have said you want an A/U ending, and a few have even gone to lengths to say they want a "happy ending" for Carrie and Merle. Well...we'll see. Maaaaaybe, maybe not  
The title of this chapter is inspired by the song 'Misere Mani' by Era, one of the songs I loop when I write this story specifically.

But a quick welcome to all my new readers/reviewers, happy to have you on board! (It seems like I've gotten more reviews since Merle died...just saying.)

Anyways, here you go, enjoy!~

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From her sleep, Carrie had sat up for a little bit, the sun touching the blinds to extend around the small space she had come to call home. If she could have gone back to sleep she would have, but it looked like daybreak had already forced her to stir. Upright in bed she glanced around, eyes heavy and hair a mess she hadn't even collected herself before she heard mass shuffling outside her room. Without a second thought she shot up and slid her sneakers on before opening the door to see a few of the guys with their rifles all heading downstairs.

Carrie smiled as a familiar figure moved down from the floor above and quickly walked to meet him going down the second set of steps. "Good morning." She whispered, pushing her hair back from her face.

"Ya just get up or somethin?" A nod in his direction Merle couldn't help but smile before they reached the bottom. He adjusted the rifle over his shoulder and leaned down. "Headin' out to take care of somethin. Gonna be gone all day." As she stood in front of him he couldn't help but eye her for a second. In a large black shirt and a pair of old shorts she was certainly a sight for sore eyes, even if she had just woken up. A frown moved over her lips and without a second thought he leaned over her, letting his face rest against hers before he whispered. "I'll be back, don't worry. Ya been worryin about ol' Merle now haven't ya?"

Carrie shoved him lightly as he laughed, still upsetting her. "Be careful. That's all I'm saying." When she couldn't think of anything else to say she ran her finger down over his jaw line. "Don't rip up your clothes, that goes for all the guys. I'm not in working mode today." Dixon closed his eyes, letting her soft digit run down before touching his lips. "Be safe." Her lips planted on to his gently, a different feel than what he was used to from other women. Usually it was hot, wanting, quick; this was the opposite. She was sweet, simple, and in a sense better. Carrie turned to walk up the steps and met the governor along the way up. "Good morning sir!"

The leader of Woodbury stopped, surprised to see her up at this hour in the morning. "You sending off Merle now are ya?" Pink warmed over her cheeks only to get a smirk in return from the governor. "I'm sure he'll be raring to get back here as soon as possible. We'll try not to wreck all our clothes. Have a good day, Carrie."

"B-be careful!" Stammering was the farthest from what she wanted to do, but there had always been something about the governor. He was such a gentleman, he was refined and took care of what needed to be done, he was a great leader for her and the rest of the people of Woodbury. She watched from the top of the steps as Martinez made his way over to the governor and Merle, followed by Milton. They were whispering about something before Caesar glanced up to see her standing there, smiling.

"_Hey Merle! Didn't know ya finally got it in?"_

"Shut the fuck up ya piece of dog shit."

Merle barked, annoying at his teasing of the young girl.

"_Just sayin, not bad, at all."_ Caesar glanced back up to her and gave a 'cute' wave, mocking what she was just about to do to Merle. The bastard read her mind? "Bye sweetie, we'll be back soon!"

"I say ya could talk to her? Fucker!" Merle shoved him forward and toward Milton. He glanced back to see her still standing there, cheeks bright red. "Come 'ere." He waved a finger at her, pulling her down to the last few steps. "Ya gon take care of me when I get back?" Crooked brow, Carrie glared at him, annoyed that he turned what she thought was a sweet moment into something again involving his penis. "Aw come on suga', ya wan be with me ya best know how to take care of me!"

Carrie's lips curled into a smirk, thinking of how many times he had thought about that. Most likely a lot. He seemed like the type of guy to think about fucking a girl after meeting them. In that thought her mind drifted off into images that made her cheeks burn again, ideas that left her heartbeat in her throat. "Keep thinkin bout me sweetie, I'll make it worth ya time when I get back. Don't waste it on yaself." He whispered, yanking her in for a tougher kiss before he turned and moved out with the others and the door was shut behind them.

Carrie stood still for a few seconds, wiggling and squirming as her mind still reeled from the thoughts and images that went through her head. She could feel her heartbeat in her throat, stomach and...other places as she climbed the steps. Was that even possible? To feel the heartbeat there as well? She knew she could feel it in her nose, even her eyes before, she had felt it almost everyone but there. Her pace picked up as she got into the apartment she inhabited and she found herself undressing to get into the shower. It was definitely needed, and now. The idea of actually being with him sent chills up her spine and left her skin in goosebumps as butterflies swarmed over her. Back home it wouldn't have been something she would have ever thought of, or be allowed to consider especially with her protective father and brothers. Her tongue moved over her lips, laughing at the image of her brothers and father as spirits jumping and screaming to want to kick Merle's ass every time she kissed him or he made a move toward her. Merle gave her a strange peace, something she had missed since she went to Florida. He was just like her family and neighbors from where she grew up at; racist, loud mouthed, annoying, temperamental, and it set her mind at ease. It didn't hurt that he was extremely attractive either, especially for his age. Again the thought of her family having a riot on the other side over her choice, a man old enough to be her father, left her laughing in the shower after she had taken care of her previous feelings.

Birds chirped as Carrie sat on her bed against the window, watching the blue sky as the town finally woke up. Woodbury was so peaceful, the only noise and bustle being when kids ran around or when the radios or record players were on. After Carrie had gotten dressed and cooked breakfast for herself she moved out of the building to spend some time walking around town. With the guys gone she could do a little more exploring she wasn't able to while they were there.

School had already started for the children and the women were out doing garden work and men sat on the wall, patrolling the border for the town.

This left a spot open that she had wondered about when she wondered off in her first few weeks. It had been in a mess of buildings and Merle had caught her and turned her back to the city.

Feet carried her in her own curiosity as she moved breathlessly through the vast buildings and hiding when needed just to secure her own protection.  
Since she had found this area of Woodbury, abandoned and desolate, her mind reeled at what was going on. They could easily expand the city bit by bit, recruit more guards, and still secure the location. Her curiosity had been peaked for a while, and in her nature the exploration was her big goal.

Pocket knife resting in her jean shorts pocket she slid it into the large leather belt that she saw on a walker a few weeks before when she shot her on the wall. Merle jumped down off the wall and got it for her, shocking the patrol team on the wall and leaving Martinez yelling that he was 'still in the twilight zone' for some reason. It had large turquoise colored stones on it and was brown with a few tassels. Definitely something she would have had back home. The thought brought up how much she missed her favorite belt, a black one with a large silver brass knuckle on it with gems encasing it. Twenty bucks spent on that and it was sitting in her home, collecting dust, as walkers moved around the area.  
Blade switched out she held it tightly in her hand, surveying the area in case of anything...not so friendly moving it's way into her sight. Emerged from the shadow she crouched, ready to strike as she gripped the black case of the blade. Glance maneuvered around as she crept forward, still alert as she surveyed all she saw.

The surroundings were just simple buildings, all empty, ground sandy and dirt unlike the grass and pavement that lead up to it. No one was even in the area, a desolate ghost town compared to the bustle in the heart of Woodbury.

Only a few cars sat there, overturned, completely stripped of wheels and mechanics. There was also a strange statue...thing, like a ball on stands, but nothing else except a few shallow holes and dips in the ground. "What the hell.." She whispered, trying to understand what exactly this all was. Immediately cursing herself she froze at the sound of walkers and something else...it sounded different. She crept forward, following the noise in a steady caution. Ears perked at the sound, finally figuring out the other one besides the growls and moans of the monsters. It was chains.

The noise brought her over to the sight, leaving her speechless at what she had found after a few more paces and ducking. They had walkers, not even corpses of them to examine, but still live ones. They moved and groaned at a slow pace, all glancing around and at each other and continued on their cycle. When she stood up and made a small noise, she jumped as the walkers turned to face her, snarling and growling with their arms stretched out for her. They were held down and obviously hungry. "What the hell are these guys up to?" She mumbled to herself, back tracking from the walkers hesitantly. When the situation at hand finally hit her as a walker in the back charged forward with the chain on it's neck she turned and took off, sprinting for all she had to get back to the main portion of the city.

When she had gotten back to the streets of Woodbury she could remember on the outside she made her way to the inside to the heart of the town. Hand on her throat she could feel her heart rate pounding as much as her head did. Knees knocked quickly from the quick sprint she had went on as she walked down the way to the food bank and picked up some stuff to make herself dinner for the night and retreated to her living space. She hadn't spoken a word to anyone since she had found what was going on underneath the bright glow of Woodbury's appeal. It was some messed up shit.

When she had sat everything down and started to think about what to make she ended up back to the images of the walkers chained up, groaning and growling like caged animals. Sure the walkers weren't humans anymore, but not even the most outrageous animals deserved to be treated like that. Fingers tapped on the counter as she thought about what the governor and the men were doing. Were they getting more walkers? Capturing civilians to turn into walkers? Why were they keeping them? Experiments maybe, or just to torture them. The thoughts had sent her reeling as she leaned back against the counter, tying on the apron that a nice older woman had given her a few weeks before. Carrie sat down on the couch to figure out what to make for herself and still try to ease her mind, at least for a little bit. She had spent the morning and afternoon scoping out the nightmare before her and now she stood absolutely alone and unsure of what the hell she had been doing for so long. All the repairs she had made to their clothes, all the work she had done for them; was it all for this? To let men abuse and attack creatures that just needed to be put down? But these were the same creatures that killed her family and took away her life...

so was it justified?

As she thought this over she hadn't really noticed until the street lights began to come on that it was later in the day. She spent all that time that she could have been occupying herself better contemplating what she had been doing for the past few months. What ate at her the most? That Merle was a part of it. That he hadn't even told her anything and left her in the dark. But maybe it was for the best, he was just defending the town like the other men did, he was the lieutenant of Woodbury, and had his duties to perform. It still didn't sit right with her, and she had a lot to think about with what the governor was really doing, but she had let go of the animosity that had sprung out for Merle. She couldn't bring herself to stay mad at him for some strange reason; it had been like that for a while. Whenever he'd say something rude, be a complete asshole, or just piss her off in general she'd walk away and things would back to normal in a few days.

After she had figured out what to make she began to cut the chicken that she had picked up earlier. It turned out that Woodbury had made another huge leap in expansion, having live animals that they raised and used for food once a month. Because of her connections to Merle of all people she got early stuff from the food line and was able to actually get meat.

Carrie had already washed and prepped the chicken and went on to debone it when she turned on the over head fan and set the light on. Dinner wouldn't be until later but she didn't mind, she used to eat late growing up so it wasn't an issue to her.

The prep on the food had been done when she heard the doors open down on the main floor and voices bust through the halls. They were all back.

While she wanted to run down there, hug Martinez, see the governor, and leap into Merle's arms and hear him she knew she'd say something about what she saw. Carrie may have been flustered, but she wasn't stupid. Fridge opened for a blast of cool air she put the chicken into the oven to bake and bent down to figure out what else to make. Her stomach had been growling all day and she wasn't going to leave it whining and complaining; she was gonna feed that sucker and make extra for quite a little bit.

When she had found noodles and cheese that had been fermented for a little bit she pulled them out with milk and decided to jump on a limb and make something she hadn't had in ages, macaroni and cheese. It wasn't actual macaroni pasta, but she enjoyed the idea of having baked chicken with sauce and macaroni and cheese, something she had frequently growing up.

Boiling the water, Carrie sat down after putting it on a simmer and kicked her feet up. For a few minutes she worked on clearing her mind before she heard a knock on the door. Eyes moved slowly to the door as she remained still, knowing who it was. She was in a testing mood and was going to enjoy the entertainment she was faced with.

"Hey now!" A smile lite up on her face as she bite her lip, foot tapping along with his knocking. "I'm smellin food and you best not be eatin without me!" He barked, still knocking on the door. "Hey princess, don't make me come in there!" After a few more seconds he opened the door and stood shocked as he noticed it wasn't locked. "Ya a smart cunt." Merle hissed, pointing a finger at her before his nose crinkled at the smell in the room. He shut the door behind him and walked over to the oven. When he had done that she stood up and turned on the small lamp on before she shut the overhead light on. "Good, was bout to tell ya to do that." Hand on the handle of the oven he pulled it open, eyes popping at the sight. "Ya can make chicken?" She nodded, fingers laced together as he took in the sight. She was in an apron and had her hair pulled back, if that wasn't what any man would give an arm and a leg to see anymore, he couldn't tell if he was dreaming or not.

"I made extra just in case you got back...before it got too late for food. I hadn't eaten all day, I...I wasn't hungry." Feet stumbled forward awkwardly, her hand latched on to her other arm tightly. "So I figured you'd probably be hungry when you got back." Carrie couldn't tell if Merle was shocked of just plain amazed at what he had heard. Now she was cooking for him?

Thumb brought to his teeth he bit now lightly, eyes moving between her and the oven before he stood up and shut the oven door. "Girlie, ya don't know what ya do to me..jesus." He whispered, still watching her.

Carrie's eyes averted to the stove top when she made her way past him, smelling sweat and a day's worth of labor over him, and to her it was intoxicating. She poured the pasta into the pot and turned the simmer up a little bit before she turned back to him. The older man had leaned on his arm to the counter, watching her with a smirk she knew couldn't fit anyone else but him. "What are you smiling at?" She whispered, moving past him to sit down on the couch again. "You look exhausted. Got any clothes for me to work on?" Merle on impulse pulled off the button down shirt he left open and tossed it to her, letting her look it over. She had found a few tears in the front and on the sleeves. "God, you just can't not go out and not ruin your shirts can you?"

Merle still at the counter, his arms remained crossed as he watched her finger the material loosely, figuring out exactly what to do. Finally she had glanced up and found herself staring at his arms. While back home men his age wouldn't even have muscle definition anymore, or be lucky to have a little, he had a frame that would fool any girl about his age. Attention off the food she could hear the water boiling over. Jumping up she shot over and turned the temperature down and checked on the chicken. "You could have helped you know, I am cooking for YOU." He scoffed, leaving her all the answer she would most likely get. Since she had spent some time alone the chicken had finished cooking and she was pulled out the chicken with a oven mitt. "This looks great!" She sang, glancing over the breasts she had cooked. Golden crisped and smelled piping hot with a tangy scent over the meal. "I had found some hot stuff and put on it, a powder and even some hot sauce. Hope you like it spicy." A chuckle escaped her throat at the comment and was met with a response she expected.

His stump wrapped around her rib cage and pulled her against him in a tight grip. "Say shit like that and ya gon be eatin somethin else angel." Her cheeks flushed at his choice of words, turning into a bright red mess plastered over her face. "Ya got me goin crazy now every day, mornin, night, all togetha, now ya cookin for me? Ya ain't my wife."

"Nor would I want to be." Such a snarky reply, she wanted to smack herself for saying that. In reality, if she was back home and all was right with the world, he was definitely someone she would have already been in a relationship with if she could have had the world her way. Mind took a hold of his immediate reaction and she responded just as quick as her reflexes allowed her to figure it out. Her hand snaked along the cold metal contraption and up to his bicep. "I didn't mean that." She whispered, hoping he'd still listen.

"I ain't the marryin type, so ya fine." Merle growled, his skin electric as she raked her nails down his arm. "Jesus." He moaned, letting her play with arm before she moved forward to stir the pasta. "Ya still worried bout the food?"

Merle pulled her back in, pressing his hips into her back. She was so small compared to him, her frame shrinking into his as he covered her. "I'm hungry, it's almost done. We can actually eat something, just like home." Carrie let out a gasp, teeth gnawing on her bottom lip as she broke away from him and met the cool air again. When she drained the pasta and poured it back into the pot she added milk and heated the cheese to pour over it. A hand reaching for a spoon she stirred the mixture together and with a smile clapped her hands together. "Dinner's ready!" The sound of a meal made for him by a pretty girl was still almost a dream. He snaked over her and snatched a plate out from the cupboard and grabbed what he needed before he got his food and sat down on the couch, plate set right on the table in front of him. Carrie followed and sat in the chair next to him.

Silence washed over them for a few minutes before Merle had continued eating, hand covering his mouth he glanced up at her. "Not bad. Ya can cook I'll give ya that." Attention back to the food the two continued eating in quiet, the only time they didn't really speak much. It was a time they were both mellow, enjoying some time to think before they'd speak to each other again. When he had finished he looked over to the young brunette, who seemed lost in a deep thought. "Ya alright? I don't wanna hear no snifflin n shit."

"I'm fine, just drifted off for a little bit." She whispered, still eating as he had sat his plate on the table. It was a pet peeve she had of him, but it was something that didn't surprise her. She cooked and cleaned, and he sat back and enjoyed it. To be honest it had annoyed her at first, but by weeks in she had grown accustomed to it and enjoyed it. It was a little bit before she had finished eating and she stood up to grab the plates. Merle leaned back on the couch, undoing his belt to pat his stomach. He hadn't had a meal like that in years, and he enjoyed the sight he had called his routine now for months.

Dixon opened his legs and tilted his head back, stretching out from what had been a busy day for the governor and himself. Carrie sat the plates in the sink and walked back over, still standing as he pulled his head forward, watching her intently. "Ya gon stand there or ya gon come ova here?" Pink brushed over her cheeks again as she went to sit down in the chair. "Nah, come ere." Merle patted his thigh, his grin darkening as she moved her eyes down to where he had rested his hand. "Take that apron off to." Voice gruff he couldn't help but laugh as she quickly took off the apron and folded it to sit on the counter. "Stop ya dallyin and get over here." He hissed, impatient as she made her way over.

Carrie could feel her knees wobbling, heart pounding and body shaking as she moved around the table and stood in front of him. Merle patted his thigh again and she quickly fell onto him, watching him as she dragged her teeth over her bottom lip. The woman sat with her arms crossed, still unsure of what she was really doing. "Um..." She whispered, legs also crossed as she pulled them up onto the couch, sitting comfortably between his legs. Merle reached up and pushed the hair out of face and reached behind her, twisting the tie out of her hair to let it fall. She tilted her head back, neck craned as he paused, eyes fixed on her without anything else to distract him. Carrie was still thinking about what she had seen earlier that day, the walkers flashing in her mind and the truth as to how close they really where. She was afraid if anyone had seen her, if they'd tell the governor, and what he would do with her. No, if that was going to all happen, she'd at least spend a night doing what she had wanted to for a while. Turning her legs she propped herself up and moved to rest sit properly on him, arms rested on his shoulders he scanned over her, his breath shallow at the position they were in. Finger traced along his jaw line she stopped at his chin. "You got anything?" She whispered, hoping that he did.

"Shit..." Merle fumbled as she got off him and watched him stand up. "Be right back." As he moved out of the room she sat impatient and made her way out of the room. Shutting the door behind her she raced up the steps and to the open door where she could see his figure going through a dressser and finally grab one. As he felt eyes staring him down he turned to see her standing at the door way, cheeks flushed and lips parted. "Ya crossin a line ya won't be able to come back from, ya understand that right? I don't even know if ya know how to do anything."

"I...I know enough." She gasped, shutting the door behind her. Her head was spinning between the fear she had been feeling earlier and the passion for the only thing that kept her from fearing for her life. When she stood in front of him she yanked her shirt up over her head and dropped it beside her.

"Damn girl." Merle pressed his frame against her, hands snaking up her abdomen and up over to cup her breast. "Holy shit." He growled, moving his hand from her chest and down to his belt. "Fuck.." He repeated over and over again, letting Carrie turn on a small lamp instead of hm using a candle to see what he was doing. "I don't wanna be usin the power."

She wanted to blurt it out, and finally when she had found enough strength to say it, she did just that. "But I want to see you...I want...to be able to see you when I...um." She gripped his face with her hands. "If you fuck me, I want to be able to see you, I want to look at you." Her cheeks were on fire, almost combustible as his eyes widened. That was something he thought he would never hear from her. Carrie had a potty mouth, and could say fuck and use any innuendo on any day, but now she was a mouse in front of him.

She stood, visually shaking as she adjusted her shorts. His eyes followed to her hands where she had pulled. He already had her strung out, and probably had all day long. This was his own handiwork, and he was damn proud of it.

"Fuckin hell." He groaned, still fiddling with the belt. When he finally ripped it off he threw it on the ground, pushing her up against the wall he leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Ya best be sure this is what ya want, cause I ain't gonna stop otherwise..." He held her face in his one hand as he used his stump to hold her between the wall and his leg.

She could feel the heartbeat again, tracing over her body and finding it's way down lower. Her pulse was racing, chest heaving and hips grinding against his for an answer that she didn't have the voice to say otherwise. Fingers slid down over his chest and to his hips as she pulled on his belt loops and fit her digits between the fabric of his pants and his underwear. He barked at her again, still wanting a verbal answer from her.  
Carrie opened her mouth to speak, but was left with her chest feeling tight and throat dry while he watched her eyes, hoping he could read what she wanted to say. How _badly_ she wanted him, for how long actually, how he made her feel at home, how she had craved his body, the fact that his cocky grin and eyes had her head spinning. The simple fact that everything he did drove her wild.

She couldn't get the shells out of her head, the fact that there were chained zombies in Woodbury under Merle's thumb. Her mind wouldn't allow that.

Carrie couldn't get rid of the fear she felt that what she had seen could cost her everything and she'd be dead because she had gone snooping. Her anxiety would never let that happen.

But what she could do was scream his name and cry for him during the night, beg for as much as she could take from him, and keep going for as long as her body could take her. Her mind brought her back to the present time of getting what she had dreamed about. The only anxiety being how long it'd take for her to reach her breaking point, and how good he truly felt on her.  
For a bit the idea of the underlying worry in Woodbury had stopped as he kept yelling for her to say his name, for all the times he had grabbed her hair when she was doing something right, and for all the bite marks he left scattered on her neck and thighs.  
But as soon as it was over, she glanced over at him staring at her and she could only think one thing; if she wouldn't have been so curious, this may have been the start of many nights to follow just like it. For all Carrie knew, this was the only time she'd ever get to touch him, to see what was underneath his clothes, to taste him, and get what she had wanted for months.

He glanced over at her, eying her frame as she pulled an arm over her face, a sheen of sweat still running on her neck. Before all this, he wouldn't even have young girls give him a second glance, and he wouldn't even gun for them. Now here she was, it was a dream come true. A beautiful girl who could cook and wanted him in bed. If he was already dead and this was hell, he didn't know what heaven had that could beat it.

Merle sat up and glanced down at her as she smiled up at him. The young woman reached up to touch his arm. "I only want you to touch me, only you." Her hand slid down his chest and fell back on to the bed. With all the courage she could emerge and pushing all the fear out of her mind of what could happen in the upcoming days she propped herself up and moved her hand down to his waist and brushed it under the sheets. "Please Merle, fuck me again. Now." Breathing heavy she went to lean over him, only for Merle to pin her down on the bed.

"Now ya getting cocky." He hissed into her ear, eyes widening as he could feel her fingers brushing down his abdomen and to his member, blood immediately moving down as her smooth fingers began to work. "Stop." A groan escaped his lips as she seemed to ignore it and moved her entire palm over it. "Fucking christ. I said stop it." When he thought he had gotten through to her she sat up and pushed him up with her, moving to her knees on the bed. "Don't you fuckin do it." His voice growled one thing, but his face told another story. "Ya fuckin bite it and I'll hit ya." Sighing, he finally came to terms with what she was doing and she immediately went down on his cock. "Look at me." Her eyes moved up as she continued to lick and spit on the shaft, pale lips still inflamed bright red from all the pressure his had put on her. She pushed herself farther, his blue eyes almost black with lust as she moaned.

Merle slammed his frame against the wall, allowing her to sit on her ass as she continued to work. "Ya mouth is finally good for somethin." He joked, his grin sending her into a frenzy as she attacked him, pushing the member farther back into his mouth. One thing she hadn't known was that when it gets hard, it gets hot as hell. That was something she hadn't learned in sex ed. A few minutes of quiet was too much for Merle as he finally grabbed her hair and pushed his shoulders back. "Holy shit, I can't."

Her eyes moved up as she backed off for a second, hand still gripping the shaft. She let the cool air hit him as she seen the line of saliva between the member and her lips. There was something she had seen in an..adult film that she wanted to try. She knew exactly how to do it, and she wanted to surprise him. Her tongue licked the head as she brought her chest up to his legs. Merle's eyes widened in shock as she rested her chest on his shaft, rubbing it as she lapped her tongue at the tip. Carrie squeezed her chest together around the shaft and bobbed, his face twisting in awe and lust. "Where...the fuck ya learn that?" He moaned, watching as she moved quicker, pumping against him as he could feel his body trembling. It was her turn to have him as putty in her hands and she was enjoying every second of it as she could feel his cock twitching. "Fuck I'm gonna." His head tilted back as she brought the tip to her lips and kissed it. He raked a hand through her hair as his hips bucked, hot liquid squirting out and landing on her chest and chin, some getting in her hair.

"I watched a few things." Merle shook his head hand still gripping her hair as he pulled her up. Her tongue moved over her lips to taste him as he watched with hazed eyes. "What's the matter Merle? You tired? You need your rest old man?" She teased, laughing as he did just that. He had let go and fell back onto the bed, legs wide and chest heaving. Carrie had put on another show for him as she ran her finger in the still warm liquid and cleaned it off as she stuck her finger in her mouth. Finished with it Carrie moved to get up, shocking the man lying next to her. "What?"

Merle's brow furrowed, not liking what she was doing. "Ya ain't leavin. This ain't no fuck 'n dash. Ya mine now." Carrie could feel the hit press her cheeks again as she sat back down on the bed. He grabbed her face and yanked it down, watching the older man search for an answer. "I ain't gonna let ya be leavin and go fuck taco vendor." Mouth moved up her neck, wet kisses left and trailed by his tongue along her collar bone as he worked his way up. She squealed as he bit down behind her ear and ran his tongue over it, noticing her legs snap shut before he relaxed back on the pillow. "Now, ya gon leave or do I gotta do that again?" Only thing she could do was comply after that, she fell back onto the bed and lifted her arms over her head after she had taken some deep breaths. Questions flew in her mind to ask him; questions about the walkers, what they had planned, who the governor really was, and what this town was really about. Those blurred as she drifted off into sleep, exhausted from the work he had done to her. One thing she had to admit, he was an athletic type when it came to sex and unlike her first time, a sloppy mess from a bong, this was an absolute energy killer. Last thing she could remember was Merle lighting a cigarette and brushing her hair out of her face.

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**A/N:** I TRIED OKAY? I originally didn't plan to do smut, in fact I would have done it as a one shot following the story but since we all know what happened to Merle's character and it was based off of the fangirling I have done on tumblr haha. But yeah, Carrie has stumbled on the true dark part of Woodbury (she doesn't know that this will be for the fights, and if she would have stuck around she could see her man fighting!) but yeah, they've finally gotten it in! Yes! I don't know how to write smut to well, I'm sorry! While she ENJOYED being...well...in it (who wouldn't?) her mind is still on the fact she's seen the truth in Woodbury. I also wanted to do the smut as a thank you for you guys giving me 20 reviews and over 2k views! I'm so happy! I update my chapters a lot because I'm so inspired. I enjoy writing this and my ideas come pretty quickly to continue so sorry if this always spams your inbox and email with updates haha!

SOO, my lovely readers, what do you think is gonna happen to Carrie and Merle next? Favorite, follow, and review my dears 3 lots of love!


	8. All Seeing, Knowing, and Understanding

"Ya just had to put ya nose in everythin didn't ya! Ya fuck everythin up!" Merle yelled, shoving her away from him as they stood in her room, his eyes almost black as they blazed in anger. "I bring ya here, take care of ya, give ya someplace, and ya fuck me ova like this? Ya bitch!" The door slammed open to see the governor standing in front of Martinez and a few other men as they all moved in and quickly shut the door behind them. Carrie watched in horror as they circled around her, all loaded with guns as she turned in a circle. "Ya own fault." Of all the people that could have hurt her the most, she could feel her heart breaking as Merle raised a pistol, pointing it right at her. Metal, seemingly cold as ice, touched her forehead as he paced closer.

"If you would have minded your own business." Voice of the governor broke through in her mind, immediately finding herself shoved down to her knees on the hardwood. "This wouldn't have happened." A hand wound itself around her ponytail and yanked her back, head forced up to see Merle standing over her, head still shaking. "It's such a shame it had to come to this, but protocol is protocol. Merle."

Tears stung against the corners of her eyes as tears finally rolled down. All the people to do this, the one man she had given her time, her body, her world to, was doing this. "Merle." Eyes frantically searching around. Martinez, Milton, someone to help her. "Out of all of these people..."

"Ain't worth the time." He growled, still watching her. "Thought ya would be worth somethin. Ya ain't. Ya like officer friendly, all them fuckers from Atlanta, democrats and niggers was what they were. Ya ain't nothing but a Yank with a good set of tits." Carrie continued to cry, feeling the tears pour down over her cheeks and collar bone, nose beginning to stuff and run. "Aww...what ya cryin for. Ya gon beg me for ya life?" He slid the chamber down her cheek and pushed it up against the bottom of her chin. "Lemme hear ya beg. How ya was beggin for me before...Merle...oh Merle...harder...Merle!" His tone had become mocking, the circle around her laughing. This was the governor's inner circle, his leading pack, Merle being the wolf in sheep's clothing.

Rage bubbled up in her stomach, she really was nothing to him. All the months she had spent working to know him, to get inside him, all she gave him: it was worth nothing. People she thought were her friends and comrades, they weren't. They reminded her of who she was before she had arrived to Woodbury. Someone who didn't trust anyone, a girl that was alone and had been for a very long time. The realization allowed her pain to snap and turn into abhorrence. "You sick bastard." She hissed, seeing his expression from pleasure to a solemn frown. "Pull the fucking trigger. You'll shoot me in the head, but I'll still come back and kill you. Each and everyone one of you."

"That's a statement if I've never head one." The governor chuckled, the entire group snickering at her response. "Merle, ya gonna do it or do I have to?" Merle unlocked the safety, gun still pressed against her chin.

Emotion finally settled in her as she realized there was no way to get out of this. All the fighting she had gone through, all the time she invested in surviving, it was all stomped on by one stupid choice. Carrie laughed, feeling the cold metal vibrate as her low chuckle emerged between her lips. "Go ahead. I ain't gonna beg for a life that ain't worth shit anyways." A few seconds later, after Merle's expression had to turned to stone, her world immediately blacked out, only hearing half the gun shot before her body drooped out of the governor's grasp and to the floor...

'what a waste.'

* * *

Screams escaped from her as a voice called to her, yelling her name. "Carrie! Come on! Wake up!" Her eyes cracked open, crust formed on the bottom under her eye, most likely from tears that had settled in her closed state. Attention had formed to the two figures kneeling over her. Martinez and Merle. A sharp yell escaped her chest as she backed away from them, arms and knees shaky. It was just a dream? "It's us..Carrie, what the hell was that?" Martinez asked, creeping closer. Something had been stirring in her mind, she had been tired for almost a week and had done this twice now. Once on her own in bed and hitting Merle in the chest when she woke up a few days before.

Hair pulled up into a loose bun and dressed in denim capris and a small flannel shirt opened to reveal a tank top she had stood up finally, rubbing the sweat off her forehead. Flannel shirt slid off she dabbed her face with it. "Goddamn girl, ya wan go see the nurse?" Merle asked, a cigarette in his mouth as he approached her. The man standing in front of her wasn't the man who put a bullet through her chin in her nightmare, hopefully.

"No." She whispered, trying to regain her composure. "I'm fine."

"Ya ain't. Ya ain't been the same for a bit now." Merle pulled the cigarette out of his mouth only to stand still and glaze between his hand and hers as Carrie snatched it out of his hand and pull it into her mouth. "I'm all for ya mouth but don't be stealin my fuckin cigarettes."

Carrie's nose twisted, obviously annoyed at his statement. "Just shut up for a few minutes." Her tongue hissed, leaving him stunned that she would even speak like that to her.

Merle frowned at her sudden attitude, annoyed that she had grown cold in the day. "What crawled up ya ass?" She glanced over at him and returned her focus out to the open area. When a walker came into sight she immediately lifted the rifle and shot, knocking it back on it's knees and to it's back as blood shot out of it's head. Gun lowered she felt an arm wrap around her shoulder and pull the cigarette out of her mouth as a chest rested on her head. Tilted back she could see his eyes staring into her, trying to find the problem to get rid of it. "Ya need some lovin? Ol Merle can handle that." Shoulders perked as the idea fluttered in her mind,

"Dude, shut up." Martinez made a gagging sound, only to receive a middle finger from Merle. Still gagging turned and moved to the other side of the wall to shoot walkers. "Gross ass redneck."

Leaned in on his chest and waist she moved her head back, reaching his jaw to lend a quick kiss before she turned back to the sight outside and shot another few walkers. It had been a busy week on the wall as it seemed the walkers sprung with spring. "Hey Merle..." Hushed in her tone she glanced down to see Martinez focused in on the zoom of his rifle before she continued. "How many walkers do you think you've killed going out on recon?"

The older man's face went crooked at the strange question. "I dunno, I don't keep count. Why?" She shook her head, leaving him still questioning. "I do what I need to do ta keep the town safe."

As the words slipped out of his mouth she could feel her heart and stomach drop, her body almost crumpling at a piece of the truth. Images flashed in her head of him just killing walkers or capturing them and chaining them where she had found the others. What else had he done to 'keep the town safe'?

"Come ere." He whispered, sitting his gun on the floor of the wall he wrapped both of his arms around the smaller woman, shocking her. "Ya need to clear ya mind. I want all of ya attention." Well, that explained why he had done that. Fingers laced over his hands and gripped tightly. "Understand?" No word in response he frowned, dropping his arms to leave her standing there. "What the hell is wrong with ya?"

"I don't know." Growls escaped her chest as she grew more annoyed by Merle's words. "When is the shift up?"

Merle watched the surrounding area, the sky was no longer blue, clouds had started to roll in, and the evening had begun to arrive. "Soon, time for tha evenin' shift ta get here." Almost on cue, the evening group had climbed up and they had shifted as Carrie jumped down from the ladder and made her way onto the street. Turned to wait for Martinez she began to walk as they all caught up together. "I'm thinkin Martinez and I are gon head for drinks." He whispered, leaving her eyes wide. There hadn't been a night she spent alone or without seeing Merle before she went to sleep since the two had slept together, and it made her uneasy.

Martinez chuckled, watching her expression with interest. "I could go for that. Might not wanna keep ya to long, she'll be getting' antsy." Cheeks burning red at his statement Carrie turned around with wide eyes. Reflexes as quick as he had claimed to be, Caesar lifted his hands in the air, stopping dead in his tracks. "Hey, I'm just sayin' what you both are thinkin'."

Instead of responding Carrie just walked ahead, leaving them stunned as she made her way up the steps and into the building before the town lights came on. Quickly she hurried into her small space and locked the door behind her. The thought of what Merle had said earlier still pounded in her head like a drum:

"_I do what I need to do ta keep the town safe." _

So chaining walkers IN the vicinity was 'protecting' the town? What else had they done that was 'protecting'? When they came back from recon they usually always had boxes of supplies and new vehicles. They always had something and made announcements to the town.

Links had formed in her mind of what was going on, where they were getting their supplies from, and what they were doing for 'protection.' The chain had formed and the light bulb came on.

Hand reaching up to her mouth she covered it to muffle the scream she had almost blurted out. These people, for the 'good of their town', were chaining walkers IN their vicinity and most likely killing others to get supplies. Carrie knew it was survival of the fittest, but that was no way to go about it.

Shower water running she slipped out of her clothes and stepped into the space where the water had been running warm. Body slid down against the wall of bathroom and hit the tub with a soft thud. In an idea she quickly pulled the tab and shut off the shower part, letting the water run in the tub. When it had gotten over chest she stopped the running water and slid down. The last time she had a bath had been years before, when no one was home, and she just relaxed for a little bit.

Arms propped up on the sides of the tub as she heard a knocking on the door. "Not even five minutes?" She hissed, pissed that of all the timing in the world, someone had decided then to interrupt her moment of peace.

"Open tha door!" Lips twisted, mind uneasy in response as Merle knocked again on the door.

"I'm in the bathroom!" Carrie yelled back. Her cheeks turned red as she heard the door open and shut behind her. "I'm gonna be a while so you might as well just go to sleep." She barked, still upset at the idea that he was with the governor in killing others to get ahead without justifiable causes. He propped open the bathroom door, a dark smirk over his lips as he leaned against the wall. "What do you want?"

"Ya just sittin there, don't even open tha door for me?"

"I'm in the tub!" She replied, arms thrown into the air. "You expect me to just climb out and open the door for you?"

Merle shrugged, body rested against the sink top as he spoke up again, hands resting in his pockets. "That's how ya greet a man sweetie. Not makin' him open tha door and look for ya." He sauntered over to the tub and glanced down, eyes reading more than his lips could say. "Sides, ain't like I ain't seen the full picture."

Carrie's arms immediately crossed over her chest, sinking down further into the water as her knees popped up to the cool air. "Shut up." Tongue hissed against her teeth as he reached for a knee, only for her to pull it under the water.

This was pissing him off. Usually she'd let him touch her however he wanted, his hand was the keycard that got her legs to open, and now all of a sudden he was shut out? "What the fuck is wrong with ya? Ya been havin nightmares, ya HIT me in my sleep, and now ya ain't lettin me touch ya or fuck ya? Ya on bitch week or sumthin?"

Of all the things he could say, that was the worst. "No, I'm not!" She shrugged, arms still crossed. "I need you to be honest with me about something." Arms moved slowly off her chest, his eyes immediately moving to smile at the sight. To him she had an interesting figure, she wasn't thin, but wasn't thicker, she was somewhere in the middle. It was like he had told Martinez, it's cushion for the pushin', and he could push that all day. Chin rested promptly on her chin as she locked eyes with him. "What has the governor made you do for how long you've been here?"

"That ain't none of ya business." Her faced went cold at his blunt answer. To Merle, he didn't need to explain what he had done in his time in Woodbury, he was keeping everyone safe like the governor's orders. Why she had been asking though had worried him. "I told ya earlier. I do what I need to to keep the town safe. Don't be puttin ya nose where it don't belong."Her eyes had almost popped out of her head, her expression turning into something he had never seen before. He could see her trembling, eyes her eyes seeming tremble at his words. Frame pressed farthest from him in the tub he crept forward, the whiskey throwing his balance off a small bit. "What the hell is wrong with ya?"

'I knew it!' Red flags shot up in her mind as she backed away in the tub from him. Carrie would feel her chest tightening, what had he done? How much blood was on his hands? He was with the men who brought in those walkers...he was just like them. In a split second she had seen him standing over her, shaking her as she froze. Her eyes were the only thing responding as she blinked while he spoke. Merle's voice had been a haze over her as the gears turned in her mind. If she let herself blurt out what she wanted to say, she knew she'd be in trouble. "I...I'm just..." A murmur pushed through her lips, letting her body melt under his hands, she had to act calm to the best of her ability. "I don't know." That was the truth, at least to some degree. Hand rose from the water and ran through her hair, the damp strands falling around her in a wave of split ends. "I just wanna sleep." She whispered, finally standing to move past him. The towel she had reused quite a few times now wrapped around her she snatched her clothes off the bed and slid into them.  
Before she could turn back she felt a pair of arms wrap around her rib cage. "I'm not in the mood." She choked out. That was a lie. It had only been the past few days, when she had been thinking more and more, that she had pushed him away bit by bit. The motion left him backing off, obviously upset that again she had shrugged him off.

"What now ya don't want me?"

Again, he had a very bad way of talking to woman when it came to anything other than trying to get into their pants. "That's a bunch of bullshit and you know that!"

"Then what tha fuck's wrong? I ain't fuckin no other girls in Woodbury, ya sure as hell ain't fuckin any of the other fuckers in town or I'd have killed em already!"

Hands raised she put stood in defense. "I am just not in the mood. Is that hard to believe?"

Merle sat on the bed, still watching her. "I find it very hard ta believe. I'm old enough to be ya pa and I got a hard on and ya got no drive? Somethin ain't right."

Carrie covered her mouth, giggling at the obviously blunt choice of words. A smile moved over his face. "There she is." Warmth had moved over her cheeks before she looked down at his crotch, a laugh finally busting out of her as he had been right. "So ya tellin me I gotta take care of this mahself?"

She moved a hand over her neck and patted his shoulder before she climbed over him and fell onto her pillow. "Ya seriously just did that and I gotta do it? Ya can't even give Ol' Merle a hand?" Blankets pulled up over her she shook her head, wet hair splattering over the pillows. "Fuckin bitch." A deep breath filled his chest before he pushed himself off the bed and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut as he cursed loudly.

After a few minutes he came out, face flushed a little bit to see her giving him a small golf clap, arms extended in the air. Yanking his shirt off he tossed it on the ground and undid his belt before sliding it off, likewise with his pants. "Ya gon' move over?" Carrie groaned, immediately scooting to the side instead of taking up the bed. He hadn't spent the night unless they had actually slept together. "Ya got a small ass bed."

"Just get in." She whispered, feeling his weight on the other side as she turned to lay on her back. "There's something else I've wanted to know for a while..."The glare he shot at her could have killed her, lethal in every way. "No, it's just...were you right or left handed before..." She pointed at his stump, metal piece resting in a pile with his clothes.

When he was too flustered to respond he crossed his arms over his chest. "Oh my god you were right handed weren't you!" She couldn't help but laugh as his mouth puckered together, brow furrowed at her. "You had to learn to do everything again with your left hand..." A flustered burn formed over his face as she continued to tease and taunt him.

"Shut the fuck up." He growled, surprised as she climbed over him, resting her head in the crook of his shoulder. Her hair was still damn as the cool strands patted his jaw and shoulder with the water still dripping off. "I thought ya said ya wasn't in the mood." Her bottom pressed on his hips, pulling a groan from him as she ran a hand over his chest. "Sweetheart ya best stop it."

Carrie smiled, licking his lips before she rested a kiss on his lips before she rolled off and away from him, leaving him again like before: horny and alone. "You's a bitch. Ya ain't gonna like it that I'm gon' be gone all day tomorrow, ya can play with yaself."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea actually." Her voice was soft as she felt the mattress shift when he turned to face her, eyes staring her down in the back of her head. His hand had wrapped around her waist and pulled her back to hips, letting her feel something poke her between the legs.

"Now ya can sleep with that all night." He hissed, groaning as she wiggled her rear in response. "Can't I just fuck ya?"

"Are you asking?" Merle's glare caught her as she looked over her shoulder. "Besides, some blue balls won't kill you."

"YES THEY WILL!" He yelled, Carrie immediately covering her face to hide her laughter. "God dammit ya always willing to touch it or suck it, now ya don't even wan fuck it?"

"You're a poet. The reading is rubbing off on you."

"Yeah, and I want something else to rub off on me."

"Nope."

"Fuck you."

"You wish."

"Every night." Merle replied, rolling away from her as the two drifted off in their own ways to sleep.

* * *

An arm stretched over to the other side of the small bed, finding nothing but empty space. Carrie's eyes jutted open as she saw no Merle. When she glanced around she hollered for him, only to hear nothing.

"_Ya ain't gonna like it that I'm gon' be gone all day tomorrow, ya can play with yaself." _  
He would be gone all day with the governor and his men. Now she had a chance to do some more...exploring.

Blind opened she smiled as the clouds had rolled in that day, it was going to storm. Perfect.

She quickly got dressed, finding herself in a gray hoodie and a pair of skinny jeans she had been given by a girl she had grown to like in town named Amber. She was 16 and a little bit bigger than her but knew how to make her laugh. It was too bad she was in school or otherwise they'd be hanging out more than just on the weekends.

Boots over her feet she picked up the pocket knife Merle had given her and slid on her brace underneath her sleeve. Hair slicked back into a tight bun the went out of the door and began her walk to the spot she had been at before. The streets had been a bit more empty as those on patrol sat under umbrellas and cover from the rain as it started to fall down. All the civilians were either in the house or in classes, leaving her to move stealthily without people on the streets seeing her.  
The nice thing about moving outside the 'safe haven' that had been Woodbury was that she was able to put her pent up energy to use. All the frustration, the anxiety, the wondering, she put that out on getting rid of the walkers.  
No one's hands were clean in this new world, and she understood that, but the fact that the governor was keeping these monsters chained up, ones that could eventually evolve and figure out how to break out, and could over run Woodbury. It was something no one had spoken about, but something she had wondered about for quite a bit.

Would the zombies evolve? It seemed like they would as time went on, and maybe she wouldn't around for that.

Rain fell harder, a steady pace hitting her as she stopped between houses for a short break from the rain before she continued on.

Feet splashed in puddles, pulling a smile out from under the hood flipped up over her head. When she turned and made her way to the abandoned buildings she took her pocket knife out and slid the sleeve of her hoodie up. The familiar groans immediately sent her crouching down, blade ready as she circled around.

Fact being that she had let the walkers sit there for so long since she had seen them still made her stomach turn. It was the idea that this was abuse to shells of the people that once had inhabited them. The people that had been in these bodies would be crushed to see how they were being treated; and it'd be unanimous that they'd rather see their bodies destroyed so they couldn't come back and hurt others. The governor and his team were disrespecting the dead and putting the town in danger. No chance in hell she was standing for that.

She quickly approached a walker in the back first, it's hands fumbling around it's neck before she reached up and wrapped her hand around to it's chin and stabbed her pocket knife through it's chin and kicked it forward before she pulled the blade out and stabbed it in the back of the head. With speed she flung herself back as the body fell to the ground, it's odor wreaking before it was quickly extinguished in the rain.

A few walkers turned back and glanced down at the body and looking over to her as she stood still. They quickly moved toward her, hands outstretched, followed by the others. There had to be at least ten of them that they had chained up. She paced around them, fists up almost as if she was ready to go into a fist fight. Merle had introduced her to some fighting, thinking that she didn't know anything. Carrie had paid for her own MMA and kicking classes back home since she was sixteen, going to her local community center up the street for them.

She quickly stepped in and with blade extended from her arm she brought it up to the walker's neck as it struggled and immediately pulled it back against the skin. A large splash of blood extended out as Carrie jerked out of the way before the contact was made. It's body fell, forcing another to walker to stumble as she lunged forward, bringing the knife into it's forehead before she twisted the knife and yanked it out, shoving the body of the walker to fall on to the other one. She continued on in a hurry, stabbing one from behind that hadn't noticed her yet surprisingly as it had straggled off from the others. She quickly pushed her extended blade up through the back of it's head before she kicked her leg up into the curve of it's back, kicking it to force it off the blade. This had been a repetition for quite a few walkers before she had gotten to the last two.

Sweat and rain blended together on her face as she approached them, both arms extended. She quickly swiped at the one on her right with the small blade and plunged it through the side of it's temple. The other arm quickly swung and sliced the walker's head clean off before she stood still, a smirk moving over her lips before she glanced around. The walkers had all fell around her and were left in a heaping pile of flesh, some with mold.

Her eyes scanned around and found the lone walker she had killed earlier. She pulled it up and slid the flannel shirt it had off to wipe her blade. She found a puddle a few feet off, seemingly fresh, and dipped the shirt in it. Blades wiped off she tossed the shirt away from her and smiled as they were cleaned off, brace as well, with no traces of blood. She'd have to find bleach later on to clean it, but there was probably some in Merle's place.

She glanced down at her hoodie, the dark wash the best choice from the blood that would have splattered if she had grabbed her pink sweatshirt. For the best interest she took off and back on the way to Woodbury she took the hoodie off and threw it up into one of the trees in the backyard to one of the homes she had passed.

Stopping between homes she took off again towards the town and found her way back with no trouble. In the pit of her stomach she had hoped no one would see her, and she was relieved to sneak her way back in with no trouble.  
Back in her small home she pulled off her soaked top and fiddled with the button on her jeans, feeling fairly accomplished with what she had done. She put people's spirits at ease in her own mind. The only thing now was how long it'd take for the governor and his men to see that the zombies were killed. She pulled off the brace and brought it over to the sink to clean. Glancing over her cleaning supplies she brought out as many as she could and ran the blade under hot water and sprayed the blade, letting any excess dirt and grime run off of it. With her brace cleaned she washed off her pocked knife and put it back in her dresser between her bible that the governor had given her and a flashlight.

Pants still stuck to her she sighed, she was going to get sick if she didn't get these clothes off. Finally peeling them off after sitting in the bathtub she kicked the dark wash denim off and flung them in the large basket that had filled with clothes for laundry. She did her own, and Merle's, and on occasion some of Caesar's...it had become a routine and Carrie really didn't mind it. It gave her something to do.

In the shower she had cleaned off whatever disgusting shit she had gotten on herself and washed her hair as best as she could. Luckily she hadn't gotten a scrape or cut on her, keeping her appearance as far from what she had done as possible. Stepping out of the shower she glanced at the pair of jeans she had thrown in the hamper. What if Merle had came in and peeled off a shirt or something and thrown it in there, only to see a pair of completely drenched jeans. He could easily put two and two together and figure out what she had done. Nightmare sending pictures through her mind again of what had happened she quickly pulled out a large bunch of clothes and shoved the jeans under them.

In a pair of sweatpants and a black tank top she found herself sitting on the bed, eying a shirt she had been working on making that had been left on the window sill. When she had leaned back against the pillow she found herself working on it, the top being a small one that cut off above her abdomen, no straps or sleeves. What she had planned to do was lace it up in the front, opening her chest up to be visible. Merle had watched her work on it a few times and was dying to see her wear it especially since she had tried it on in front of him before.  
The thought of him with a shit eating grin on his face when she finished the shirt made her heart jump.

Almost as if on cue, horns honked outside and the sight of the same vehicles pulled their way up through the gates of Woodbury. Carrie slipped on a pair of sneakers and flung herself out of the door and down the steps to make her way out to the porch and down the street. Other members of Woodbury came out in jackets and umbrellas. She stood with her hand gripping her arm, eyes searching until she found Merle getting out of the front car with the governor.  
He found surprise as she walked up and immediately jumped on him, arms wrapped around his neck in a tight hug. "What the hell ya doin?"

"I missed you!" She replied, satisfaction in the fact that she had killed the secret little bugger of walkers and now she could play it off like nothing happened. The governor glanced over, a smile on his face as he watched her be lifted off the ground, Merle bregrudingly carry her over as he walked. "I'm glad you guys are alright! Did the recon go well!"

The governor waved for Martinez and pointed to the door. "We'll get inside and talk about it, we got a lot to go through!" He pushed inside with the others as the rest of the group followed with boxes of supplies and bags of ammunition and weapons, the town cheering and clapping in response.

Carrie still holding on to Merle he groaned, dropping her down as soon as they got inside. "God girl, what the hell is up with ya?"

"I just missed you!" She whispered, kissing the stubble on his jaw line before she turned to face Martinez and the governor, arms up. "What'd you get?"

"We got enough to make sure we'll be fine for the spring, including some stuff to grow more vegetables, I think we'll expand the garden quite a few yards." The governor cut in, walking them up the stairs. "I have to say, it's nice to have some rain as well. You would have no idea of how tired I was of the cool air. Nice to see spring and summer finally here."

"Couldn't agree with ya more governa." Merle chimed in, wrapping an arm around Carrie's waist before he had pulled her in front of him as they made their way to the governor's doors. Sat near the window the three were silent until the governor had shut the door behind him.

"We need to have a discussion..."

* * *

Carrie had found herself in a rather...interesting situation. Her eyes shifted to Merle as he sat on the bed, pulling off the straps to his mechanic addition before he glanced up at her, a smirk plastered on his face.

_'It seems to be in the best interest that you two...coexist in a more private environment. It's something I have discussed with Merle, and he agrees to it. I think it'd do you both well.'_

"Well lookie at us sweetheart!" He extended his arms, sitting only in a wife beater top and boxers. "You and I livin together! Who woulda thought!"

Glance shot in his direction she had put her stuff in a corner, away from the rest of the room, and walked over to where he was sitting. "It's interesting to say the least..." She whispered, hand moving over the back of her neck. While she could tolerate cooking for him a few times a week and spending time with him, the idea of living together had turned her off to say the least. Carrie grew up not having many relationships, and the idea of sharing a space with someone twenty four seven, like a family, had her stir crazy already.

"Aw now ya don't wanna be with this ol fuck?" She sat down next to him as he fell back on the mattress, waving her down with his hand. Her head rested on his chest, the tempo of his heart beat easing her. This was something she hadn't done since she was little. Her brother was much older than her and took care of her when she was little. The young man let her fall asleep on his chest after he had come home from a work day. His pulse had helped her fall asleep and he did soon after, completely calm in a world that didn't involve must struggle for her unless it was what lunch to pack.

"Do you think...Woodbury will last?" A hat had to be tipped to her, she asked some really different questions. "Like honestly...do you think Woodbury is gonna last?"

"Course, I know it will." Arms propped up behind his head he watched her, still rested on his chest. "Woodbury gon' be in the history books. Milton records everythin."

Carrie paused for a second, trying to word out the next question properly. "And what will the stories tell?"

As he finally relaxed, body slowly relaxing to go to sleep, she had asked again a strange question. "That we did what we had to to rebuild in this hell of a world." Words in choice, they only brought up the simmered struggle she had went through early in the day.

Rain continued to hit the window, whip whipping and thunder cracking with the storm raging on.

Power flickered quickly when Carrie reached over for his lighter on the table, lighting the candles on the table next to her. Of all the ideas floating in her head, the nightmares she had gone through, she wanted to put them at ease. "I think...that it'll tell that Woodbury became the shining example of the new world. They were lead by their military leader, a strong, brave veteran by the name of Merle Dixon." She lightly slapped his chest as he chuckled, enjoying her praise. "With his army they lead their way through the valley of the shadows...they vanquished all foes, and came back stronger and stronger each time. We have nothing to fear, but fear itself."  
Frame squirmed to rest her head up on the crook of his shoulder, still thinking of what she could say after she kissed his jaw line, finally in a calm state she hadn't felt for a long time. "You make sure when you go out there, you come back. You understand?"

He couldn't help but laugh as she stopped, body turned to slide her top off before she rolled back, a frown covering her face as he had already fallen asleep. "Jackass."

* * *

**A/N: **There. We. Go. WHOOWEE this was a big one to write...I wanted to incorporate a lot into this one now as we hit the major point. I also wanted to let you guys see that Carrie really isn't just a young thing trying to find her way through, she knew how to fight and what to do when the time came. It's very tactful as the story goes on, and now the seeds are set.  
So, hope you all enjoyed, please leave a review, favorite, and follow! Let me know what you guys think will happen when the governor and his inner circle find out their little 'secret' has been slaughtered!


	9. Fading on the Surface

A peaceful morning, something she had always enjoyed since getting to Woodbury. The sun would come through the clouds, the blinds would be cracked, streets silent, and light hitting the room in just the right places. This was a little bit different in Merle's room. He had large windows across from the bed that let the light pour in and the curtains had been pulled away.  
Eyes squinted she shook her head a few times, letting her hair fly around before she glanced down to see Merle still out like a rock. Of all the pet peeves she had that he possessed, his snoring and awkward sleeping habits was at the top of the list. Fingers wrapped around his chin before she shook his face lightly. His reflexes responded, immediately grabbing her wrist before he made the connection of seeing her face. "Goddammit woman don't be doin' that." He moaned, pulling her down to fall on his chest. "I woulda killed ya if it wasn't you."

"Well it was me, sooo..." Her voice hushed to a silent end off, still thinking about what had happened the day before. Carrie knew that sooner or later they'd find the bodies and start the hunt for who did it. If they found out it was her she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach what they'd do to her, and who would be the one to pursue the punishment. Scanning the room she finally was able to sit up and throw herself out of the bed. Merle had noticed her attitude changing a little bit for the past few weeks and especially at that moment. He watched as Carrie stood up and moved over to her clothes in a pile next to the window. Before she could even get dressed the two turned to hear a pounding on the door.

"MERLE!" It was Martinez, and he sounded worried. The older Dixon flung himself out of bed and opened the door. "We got a problem." His voice hushed, it left Carrie frozen. She glanced back to see Martinez whispering something to Merle before he stepped away and closed the door.

She fiddled with a button down brown tank top and black vest she slid on and a pair of denim shorts. Hair in a bun again she walked over to him, a hand rested tightly on his arm. "Are you alright? What happened?" Whispering her question she waited for Merle to speak to her, but he hadn't. Clothes slid on she waited for a response, fear growing in her even more. "What's the matter?"

"It's somethin'...the governor needs me for. I'm gon' be gone all day." Heart sank at his words, someone had found the walkers. How did they find out so quick? Unless...they took new ones there to add to the group. Stomach in knots she stepped back and let him slide on a button down shirt before he turned to face her. "Ya stay in here, I wan make sure ya stay safe."

"Tell me what's going on then!"

"That ain't ya business." Frown creased her lips as Merle slid on the metal attachment and faced her again. Carrie was pissed, and it bite him in the ass as he leaned down to kiss her, only getting the side of her face. "Fuck ya then."

"Fuck you to." She hissed, upset that he would keep something from her, even if she knew what it was in reality.

_They're gonna figure it out, they're gonna figure you out, you're gonna be killed or exiled. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER._

Like an old friend, she found intuition knocking on her door and accepted it back in immediately. She snatched up the bag she had when she first arrived to Woodbury and began to pack things he wouldn't notice for when he got back. Merle probably wouldn't even be back tonight, he'd probably go and spend the night drinking with the others, and if worse got to worse he'd probably find a girl just to piss Carrie off. The thought of him fucking another girl crossed her mind, and surprisingly she felt numb to it. She had expected to feel her stomach lurching at the thought of him with someone else, not being with her, but it only felt cold on her. Discovering what the men she thought she called 'friends' had hidden from the town had disgusted her, turning her off to the world that she inhabited there in Woodbury. Rummaging through her clothes she pulled a few pairs of shorts and rolled them up tightly, shoving them into the bag with a few shirts and a sweatshirt. Shelves opened she pulled out some cans and what seemed to be a military style can opener. Eyes lite up as she had spotted a few cans of viennra sausages. Carrie could remember getting them in her stocking for christmas with slim jims and little debbie cakes.  
"No wonder I was fat growing up." The thought had crossed her mind quite a few times before she finished putting a few more things in the bag. A large bottle of water slid in the side she lifted the bag and brought it over to the bed. The few extra pairs of underwear she had sewn and a bra a woman had given her fit in the bag with a little bit of room left. She opened a drawer and pulled out the small handgun Merle had given her for self protection. Safety still in she put that in the bag and took the box of ammo sitting next to it to fit in the side pouch.  
Bag shoved under the bed she sat down, thinking about how the hell she was going to get out, and how Merle wouldn't notice.

* * *

"Holy shit." Merle whispered, mouth agape at what was shown in front of him. The walkers they had captured, the ones they had planned to use for Woodbury's anniversary in a few months, all lay on the ground, completely dead. None were stirring, they were now just corpses without motion. Martinez and Shumpert had examined the surrounding area while Milton flipped the corpses over, examining them as the governor stormed back over, still swearing under his breath. "What tha fuck happened govena?"

Milton waved the group over, a lump in his throat he quickly adjusted his glasses before pushing a walker's chin up with his rubber gloves. "Someone...someone killed them all."

"No shit. Ya saw the one with tha head cut off!" The entire group was in a frenzy over who had done this. "Who the hell knew bout this? Who wasn't with us yesterday govena?"

"You men were with me. You're all cleared...it had to be someone in town. Did ANY of you say ANYTHING to the civilians?"

In a wave of shaking, the group all moved their heads to show they hadn't. "Then who the hell?"

Milton examined the body closer, pointing at the gape. "Two different blades." He whispered. The governor and group approached closer as Milton tilted two heads up, allowing the others to see what he saw. "Two different blades were at work here, slashing the throat and pushing up through the chin."

A hand rubbed over his chin before he ran it through his hair, the governor for once absolutely perplexed at what this was. "So two people?"

"I'm...not sure." Milton whispered, still on his knees as he glanced up to see the worry on the governor's face. "Sir, I'm sure it was just maybe someone passing through, they probably didn't even see Woodbury and was just on the run-"

"THEN WHERE WAS OUR SECURITY?" He barked, anger boiling over. The city of Woodbury he had come to rebuild was impenitrable, it had Merle as their lieutennant and he was sure nothing like this would ever happen. "Someone in town...they found it!"

"We can always get more biters!" Martinez spoke up, immediately feeling the governor's eyes pierce into him, trying to examine him for any deceit. "I agree with Milton. Could of been just a person passin through, probably on a run from a bunch of them biters. A bunch of walkers chained down? Easy kill and at least it be decreasin the population of the bastards."

Blood had puddled with the rain as it sat under the sun, a few spots dry and dark. "This was a slaughter. Whoever had done it knew what they were doing...like they had plotted it out. Look at the order." The governor pointed to the train of bodies. He walked back to the farthest walkers and moved through the line, swinging his arms. "The person that did this, they plotted it. They knew how to set themselves through and how to watch the biters to know what they were doin. This ain't no RUN THROUGH." Tone growing darker he paced back and forth, examining each body as he passed by them. When he got to the front he pointed to the deep footprints. "The bastard that did this took their time to see their work, YOU THINK THAT'S A RUN THROUGH? HUH?" Eyes darted back to the surrounding soldiers as his finger kept on the spot. "SOMEONE KNEW. SOMEONE DID THIS. SOMEONE IN WOODBURY DID THIS. THERE IS A SNAKE IN OUR TOWN!" They had never seen the governor this angry, he was on a warpath and they weren't sure if it'd get worse than it already was.

Milton's eyes widened, a hand outstretched as he moved near the governor's foot. He quickly pulled it out of the deep footprint the previous person had left and held it up. A long strand of brunette hair. "Whoever did this, she had her hair pulled back." That was something that left the group hushed, the governor carefully taking the strand from Milton's fingers. It was extremely long, and someone disfigured near the root. "It seems like it was either pulled up at the top or in a bun or something...so it was a girl or a man with extremely long hair, we're looking at about chest length or longer."

"How did it drop out though if it was pulled back?"

"If she had to move quickly or pulled her hair own. Seems like she is a brunette."

The governor paced back and forth, still trying to understand what had happened. While they were gone, protecting and bringing food and supplies to these ungrateful people while they sip on lemonade and go to school, someone had done all of this? Someone who knew the schedule of their patrolling had snuck out when it was raining, knowing that people would be inside, and did this work knowing they wouldn't find much in evidence. At least they had something, even if it was a sliver of who they could narrow it down to.

"So basically." Merle rested his hand in a pant pocket, waving his blade in the air. "We're lookin for a brunette bitch, one that knows how ta kill a walker, and used a knife? Govena that's a sort of open pool ya jumpin into."

The governor stopped, Merle's voice wiring his thoughts together. Milton watched him, shaking his head. "Sir...I know what you're thinking."

Confusion washed over the group as the governor walked over to Merle, standing almost chest to chest he held the strand up to the sun as he glanced up at it. "It ain't an open swim when ya know damn good and well who it is." He whispered.

Dixon was a man who could usually read a girl from the get go, even while they were 'bumping uglies' as he so famously liked to call it. When he made eye contact again with the governor he took a step back, eyes wide in shock at the assumption the governor was making. "Govena, no way in hell." His leader's gaze burned into him, face written in disgust and anger. "Don't be sayin that now, ya got no assumption bes-"

"Besides the fact that she can kill a walker with a knife just as well as you can, you taught her about combat in the time she's been here, and the length of the hair matches up? That ain't no assumption."

"Come on now govena, she couldn't 'ave done this. Why the hell would she?"

"Fear." Milton cut in again, now standing next to the governor. "...maybe she was...exploring. Without Merle in town she uh..." He rubbed his neck, Martinez biting his tongue to hide his laughter as the man's cheeks turned red. "Without him in town she doesn't have much to do besides tend to the clothes. So maybe she went off walking and she found this."

Merle nodded, now scratching his chin. "Besides, she didn't have no bruises on her face or body. She was just the same when I left her that mornin'. Couldn't of been her."

The governor held the hair now in Merle's face, eyes beady in rage. "Bring her to me." He hissed. Turned to the other soldiers he pointed in the direction of the road. "GO bring more." Eyes averted to Merle and Milton, his right and left hand men. "We're gonna go find her, I got some questions." They followed suit to the truck and without a second thought the governor sped off, tires rolling quickly down the road they left a high trail of dust in their wake.

* * *

Carrie had been fiddling with the top that had tormented her for quite some time, but now she had gotten it laced up the front. A smile grew over her lips as she held it up in front of her. The blue material was perfect to her, and in the apocalypse it was a luxury to have anything sexy. When she heard footsteps she went to throw the top under her pillow, but before she could adjust herself Merle and opened the door and shut it behind him, eyes lost to her. "What ya doin?" He whispered, watching her with a furrowed brow.

"I was working on something." She couldn't look him in the eye, there was something up and he didn't like it.

Merle watched her hesitantly, reaching for where she had moved before she grabbed his wrist. "What the hell are ya doin? Don't be hidin shit from me." He barked, her frame shaken up by his obvious anger. Wrist thrown to her lap Merle picked up the pillow and drew a questionable look as he picked it up. "What the fuck..." As he opened it the corner of his mouth drew up, mouth slowly parting into a wicked grin. "This is what ya been hidin from me? This is why ya wouldn't fuck me?"

_Let's go with that. _Carrie's cheeks burned with a slight nod as she looked away. "Holy shit." He whispered, holding the thin fabric, it had laced up in the front with white and looked like denim. "Ya got bottoms to go wit' it?" A nod again he couldn't help but grin as she pulled the shorts out from between the mattress and the frame and handed it to him. Same denim look with lacing on the front. "Goddamn. When was ya plannin to wear this?"

"Tonight." She replied meekly, legs crossed on the bed. "I wanted to surprise you...at least do something in this shitty world." _And if it was gonna be her last night with him, she'd make it count._ Her fingers pushed her hair behind her ear, watching him with a grin as his eyes seemed to haze. The idea of her in that little outfit already had him feeling a stirring under his belt. Door still propped open she jumped as the governor walked in, eyes fixed on her. "What's the matter governor?"

"I need to speak to you." He whispered, tilting his head toward the door. "Follow me." She quickly got up and slid her boots on to follow him. Merle watched in horror as she moved out the door and the governor followed, wood slamming to the wall. This was about to get bad.

* * *

Thumbnail in her mouth she bit lightly on it as the governor stood across from the table, Milton pacing behind her. The three had walked to a small building behind the armed walls and they had lead her there. He seemed pissed, and the worry deep in the bottom of her stomach left her in knots.

"What did you do yesterday?" The governor whispered, now leaning on the table. "Full day up until we got back from our recon."

If there was one thing Carrie could do, it was lie. She lied to her family growing up, she lied about her happiness to her school counselor, and she could lie about what she did that day to the governor. "Well I got up, Merle was already gone, I saw it was raining, and I was working on a little project going on." Her cheeks burned as she looked away.

Now he had her, all he had to do was get her to say she went out and he'd be able to present what he had. "What project? Tell me, there is a lot riding on your future in Woodbury."

Lips quivering she blinked a few times before finally responding. "It..well...there was a lot of denim that you guys had ruined so I...I made an outfit for Merle." She whispered, hands between her legs as she hunched over, face flaming.

The governor looked up in shock as Milton raised his hands behind her. This was something he didn't want to hear. "So you didn't go out? Why did your hair look so drenched when we got back-"

"I took a shower." She responded, unsure of what was up with him, at least on the outside. "Is everything okay? Martinez and Merle had me worried this morning when Merle ran off..." Gnawing on her lip she glanced up. "But there is something I wanted to bring up with you...I don't feel safe here...no one tells me anything and I...I want to leave."

The two men stood shocked, the governor's gaze moving off into the distance before he leaned in closer to her again. "Why? You're a valued member of Woodbury, you have defended these people and I'm sure without a doubt Merle would miss having his..."

"It's nothing like that." She had cut him off quickly, leaving his head spinning. Her little 'ploy' didn't go undetected, he had her in the palm of his hands. Now, he could take this exactly where he wanted to. "I just, I don't, I don't know, I just wanna leave. I'm not happy or comfortable here. You told me when I first got here that if I wanted to leave, as long as I did it before dusk it would be fine, so I'm taking that offer."

"You won't make it out there." He whispered.

"I made it this long, I'll be fine. I was alone before I got here, I have no trouble being alone now."

Milton opened his mouth to speak, the governor's hand risen quickly cutting him off. "If that's what you want...we can give you a car, supplies, ammo, whatever you need. It's the least we can do, but I really don't want to see you leave, you'd be a tremendous loss."

"Nothing you can't replace. I don't need anything, I am perfectly fine with my decision." She stood up to meet him, a hand extended. "I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me." The governor smiled in return, shaking her hand. Two rough grips met, both searching for dominance in the grip before the shake broke. "I'm going to go grab my weapon and I'll be off, I can take care of myself."  
"Milton will escort you." The governor watched as the two disappeared out the door and left him standing alone. This wouldn't take long.

When she had gotten to the room she peaked around, seeing the bathroom door shut and the water running. Milton stood outside as she pulled her bag out from underneath the bed and snatched her own attachment from the kitchen table. Slipped on her arm she smiled at the blade. _Me and you against the world again my friend._

Her eyes traveled to the bathroom door, hearing Merle yell something about a few minutes. She gave a weak smile before walking out the door and quietly shutting it behind her before they moved down the steps and out the doors.  
"I know what you did." Milton whispered. "You're a very crafty lady, killing over a dozen walkers by yourself and not a scratch on you? That's talent." Her eyes widened in the glance she shot at him. "Just so you know, the governor would have probably kept you on watch for a while and restricted you. He's not the type of man who...would do that to his own people." She walked ahead of him as they moved closer to the gate. Martinez stood with his arm over the large latch, hoping she would admit something or say something before she'd just walk off into the hell of the world outside.

The governor approached behind her as he held a hand up, pausing Martinez. "Are you sure you want to do this? You're always welcome to return."

"I'm sure with my choice." She glanced around the town, so peaceful and quiet, that was what the survivors believed. Hell, they weren't survivors. They were the aristocrats of the new age. While they enjoyed their new world and lived like nothing had happened besides losing a few people they had probably forgotten about in the lap of luxury, they sat pretty. Carrie had never lived like that, and the apocalypse wasn't going to steer her to that. She'd miss having hot food, a shower, a toilet, and those ideas of what she called 'basic' living before the whole world fell.  
"Open the gate!" She yelled out, immediately turning attention to her as a voice yelled out behind her. She wasn't dealing with this now of all times.

Martinez pushed the door open as she went to step forward, hearing her name still being yelled before an arm yanked her back. Merle had caught up, facing stuck in shock and anger as he moved for Martinez to close the gate. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Waking up. Let me go." Jerking away she was caught again by him. The governor rested a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head to release her. Carrie frowned as his eyes burned, a wave of disgust hitting his body as he let go.

"You'll die out there." He growled, trying to talk some common sense into her. "Don't be a dumb bitch."

"Too late for that. I'm not living in this dream anymore." She turned and waved for Martinez to open the gate. She leaned up to kiss Merle's cheek, taking in a deep breath before she stepped back down. For a moment she was lost in his stare, trying to scream at him to leave with her. Her mind had thought about it before, running off from Woodbury with him. The two of them could take on the world and continue to fight and survive and eventually retreat somewhere where the biters couldn't get them. A lump formed in her throat as she stepped away, leaving him still in shock. What had pissed him off was that she didn't say thank you, she didn't apologize, she just packed up, while he was in the shower, and was leaving. Attention to Martinez he complied and frowned as she patted his shoulder before stepping out to the end now surrounding her. Cars had been turned over, chaos everywhere in the wreck that was now her new home. After stepping out she heard the gate shut behind her, a chill rocking her spine when the bar had slammed down.  
Frame turned back she looked at it carefully as she walked backwards before turning her back to the town. Bag on one arm she walked ahead down the road, head held high as the warm spring air pushed over her face.

This was what she had done, the blood was on her hands, and again it was her against the world. Just like it had been the whole year...

just like it had been for her teen years. She was always alone, and now at least she only had to worry about herself.

* * *

Hand wrapped tightly around his bottle of scotch the governor poured another shot and quickly downed it. His head was spinning, the gears were at work, and there was nothing that could hold him back.

"She admitted it to me. She killed the walkers in the yard." Milton spoke up, finally breaking the silence of the group as they all turned to face him.  
Merle's chest tightened, realizing that she was in fact that woman that had slain all the zombies in no time flat. He had taught her all she knew; how to stab them quicker, to clean her weapon, hand to hand combat, how to shoot...all that she learned she incorporated on the biters.

"That was a slaughter." The governor hissed, resting his shot glass on his forehead. "The fact that she could kill that many and come out without a scratch...she needs to be taken care of. Now."  
Merle's eyes widened as the governor continued. "Her roaming out there, it's not good. Not for any of us. Merle, I need you to do this."

He would ask him to do that? The governor had asked him to do many things, all he wasn't proud of, but this was something that rocked him to his core. "Govena, she'll just mind her own business. Ain't no need to be doin' that."

"There is a NEED." Another shot down he pointed the glass at him. "You...you're why she is the way she is. She needs to be taken care of now. I asked you to do work before, ain't no exception to this one. You do as I say." He stood up, taking another swig of his scotch. "Where do your loyalties lie Merle?"

"You know where, govena."

* * *

Carrie had made her way down the road quickly, Woodbury not completely out of vision and had been for a few hours as the dusk began to fall. Eventually she had broken off into the woods as she continued in the opposite direction of the town. As far as she could get from there, that was all she needed. One thing the men had done was lower the number the walkers with what they had slaughtered and recruited since her time there. A few of the cars she had passed she found some supplies in, and roaming through the woods she had passed already long gone bodies. Stumbling she found a body, of a woman, most likely dead for months, was lying there, rotting. Nose wiggled at the stench, not used to it after being in fresh air. Her hair began to fall off and rest around her, stomach open and dress dried with blood. Something had caught Carrie's eye as she glanced over it. She crouched down, hands moving around the back of the creatures head and turned it sideways, making sure it's neck was broken before she found what she was looking for. She unclasped the gold chain and pulled it off the woman's neck. Cross resting in her hand she stood up, eyes maneuvering over it in a hungry frenzy. It was elegant, engraved with curves and small notches and an outline.  
She could feel the cold race up her spine, goosebumps moving over the skin that she had formed in the time she had spent sheltered from the real world. That layer peeled off as her mind began to reconnect to what she had lost for so long.  
Humanity no longer existed outside, what was pulling on her now was a consuming urge to survive. If she had to cross anyone, especially the governor or his men, they'd be in for a fight. Maybe that was what drove the governor to where he had stood, like his men. But unlike them, she was doing it for herself, and would only do that to survive. They did it to thrive, they had no wounds, they ripped the outsiders down and destroyed all that existed that wasn't labeled Woodbury.

This world was ugly, and it was survival of the fittest, and she'd be damned if she gave in to a bunch of people that sat on their high throne.

"Where's your god now?" She hissed, dropping the cross into the open body as it fell to the blood and organ shredded form.

Finally she had stopped staring at the form and moved on ahead, picking up the pace to find a place she could call shelter for the night. When she emerged on to the road again she noticed that it turned right, away from the road that would take her back to Woodbury if she turned around. Instead she went left and continued on into the evening. A large van sat with it's doors opened on the side of the road. It had been cleaned out, but no walkers were in it. It'd be a shelter, at least for the night. Closing and locking all the doors she rolled the windows up and crawled into the back seat and slid down under the seats with her bag as a pillow. Learning from her past mistakes she kept the windows closed, eyes still open as she stared at the roof of the car. No more warm bed, no light to light the room, no blankets, no pillows, no Merle.

It was all gone.

* * *

The room sat almost empty while he moved around, trying to clear his mind with the bottle of whiskey he had grabbed from a shelf over on the cupboard. Another swig had burned his throat as he sat down on his bed, head pounding at the words the governor had given him. _Kill _her? She had just wanted to leave, she didn't fight him or anyone, she just packed up and walked out. His stomach turned at the thought of standing over her, a hole in her forehead, dead as the walkers that roamed the land now. Bottle set on the table he opened the drawer next to the bed and pulled out the one thing that gave him comfort anymore, a bible he had snatched from the library.

He sat silent, trying to read it, trying to find some sense that things would be okay. The governor had saved his life, had fed him, cleaned him up, set him on a way that allowed him to still be what he wanted to be and do something worth while. His loyalties were clear, he had been and always would dedicate his being to the governor.  
Bible closed he leaned against the wall, the bottle pressed to his lips before he took another drink. The thought killed him, but where he needed to be was the town, and protecting what the governor created.

When he thought he had made the choice his eyes moved to the pillow she slept on and his eyes widened. There was the outfit she had been working on. He thought about running out into the town and finding a cute girl that could wear it, but the picture he had formed earlier of her wearing it had stopped him.

He thought the choice had been clear...

_He was wrong._

* * *

**A/N: **There we go you guys! Hope you all had a LOVELY Easter! Carrie is officially out of Woodbury, but now things seem to get a lot more interesting. The next chapter will be what I know people have been wondering about, can she survive? I had started this yesterday, stopped, and came back to it. It's a tad shorter than what I did last chapter but that was extended for a few reasons haha.

What do you all think is gonna happen? Will Merle find Carrie? Would he be able to kill her, or would she fight back? Let me know!  
Leave a review, favorite, and follow!  
Bye turtles!


	10. Breaking Glass

**A/N:** Daaaamn, you guys got upset with how she left Woobury! I have to say it was very entertaining! So here we go, enjoy and hold on tight!

* * *

The woods were in a constant hiss of insects, the warm spring air blasting unlike a few days before when it had been pouring rain. Merle had been walking with two backup soldiers as they moved further from Woodbury. An assault rifle equipped to each of them he had grumbled about Martinez getting out of this, he had spoke to the governor and got out of it to do patrolling. Cursing the man he considered a buddy under his breath he adjusted the strap to his sniper rifle as they walked along.  
"We sure she's still alive?" A husky man behind him asked, unsure of what was going on. "I mean...Carrie don't look like a girl that could...ya know."

The words hit hard to Merle as he quickly spun around, arm raised and blade pointed directly at his fellow soldier's neck. "Ya don't know nothin' bout Carrie. The girl is armed and dangerous. She'll kill ya, no remorse."

When they continued along the woods they found themselves moving closer to the road, watching for a figure or any sign of someone that had been through there recently. Eyes had moved around the surrounding land, trying to spot her. She wouldn't be THAT hard to miss in the woods, right?

"Dixon, you gonna be able to do this?" Another question from him left Merle annoyed as he glanced back, lips cast down in a solemn pose as he walked on. Silence giving the only answer, the large man whispered something to the smaller but built soldier walking beside him. Merle knew what they were speaking about, the soldiers that had been informed, Caesar, Milton, and The Governor all thought the same. He couldn't do it, he couldn't look her in the eye and pull the trigger, or stab her if she was already a shell by then.

The night before he had stared at the outfit she left, trying to figure out what girl in town he could find that would wear it and he could just fuck and get Carrie out of his mind. A grunt escaped his throat as he recalled thinking, cursing, how much she had affected him mentally and physically. It had already been a few hours and his body was ringing on the inside for her, missing her frame lying on the bed or ending up tossed around on the bed with him. Her smart-ass tone with him, how she challenged him, how she pissed him off. Relationships weren't for him, he had never been one to get into that type of stuff. The idea of him being held down, not being able to do what he wanted, made his head spun.

What seemed like forever, they had stumbled on a few walkers piled together, all the same in their demise with a knife up through the chin or throat. One had been lucky enough to have had it's head chopped off. "What the fuck..." The smaller man whispered, gun raised as he steadied it. "She didn't do this."

Merle had crouched down, tip of his blade moving the heads to examine the wounds, exactly like what they had discovered of the walkers back in Woodbury. Bugs flew over the bodies of the walkers, even a few maggots crawling over the one on the bottom. "This was done last night." Dixon whispered, standing up again before he examined the ground around him. Eyes followed the footprints as they had stepped hard into the ground and took off in the distance. Arm raised his blade met the horizon in front of him. "She went this way." One thing he had noticed was that there was no signs of a struggle. Without reflex a smirk hit his lips. "That's my girl." He whispered, hoping the others didn't hear him. When the words escaped his mouth he immediately regretted them.

_'You supposed to be looking for her to KILL her ya fucking moron! Not ta kiss her and bring her back!'_

Realization of what situation he was in brought him back to earth as he followed the trail and up the small hill with the soldiers still following him. The warm air hung thick around them as they continued, Merle already feeling a sheen of sweat on his chest and over his forehead. Bugs hissed louder, even birds chirping as they pushed on. Carrie needed to be found, and taken care of, and if anyone was going to do it, it'd be him.

* * *

"Jesus fucking Christ why is it SO hot out?" Carrie barked, her vest covering her tube top she had made a few weeks before as her tanktop had been wrapped around her hair, pulling it up like a band. "Should have waited for the fuckin heat spell to break." She groaned. With the storm that had passed she thought it'd bring a cool set of days to her, enough time to bunker down somewhere, but apparently it hadn't done anything to the swampy warm weather.

"I hate Georgia," Cutting her way through the bushes she met a walker eating a body. It had been hunched over, guts and endtrails lying about before she quickly approached it. "I hate the south." A hiss broke through the walker's mouth before she sliced it's head off, bored at the situation. "I HATE THIS." She yelled, immediately regretting it as she shut her mouth. "Fuckin hell." Walkers would probably be soon roaming her way, and she was certainly not in the mood for this.

The night had been terrible, she got sleep, but it was uncomfortable as hell. Posture hunched over she groaned, annoyed and tired at what she had gotten herself into. Still, it was better than Woodbury to her.  
She missed the children though, and the fresh tea Milton made, and a warm bed...and Merle.  
He didn't want to go with her though, and that had gave her the clarity she needed of leaving with no weight hanging on her head. Boots sunk into the mud that had come with the dew of the morning and left her pulling them up to adjust them. "Oh fuck." She had left tracks, and she had immediately begun to curse herself again.  
After traveling by herself for over a year she took things in humor anymore, fending for herself easier than being in a group. Bent over she eyed the trail she had left in her week. That had to have been going since she killed the walkers at dawn that morning. "Son of a bitch!" Hand smacked her forehead in frustration, leaving a red mark in it's wake.

Foot kicked up to the tree, hoping if she scraped her sole against the trunk it would wear the bottoms to stop the footprints. Minutes passed but she had grown annoyed quickly. "I hate my life." Coughing into her shoulder she pressed forward, seeing the footprints still set in the ground. What a way for walkers to know that there was fresh meat out there. Shrugging she made her way forward, still rather pissed at the recent events of the morning.

Her tolerance for reality had slipped quite greatly after her time in Woodbury. Still in some way, shape, and form she had been influenced by them even as she left.

In the distance she heard something that stopped her dead in her tracks. A gun shot. Her eyes moved back as a few more rounds went off. As if the day couldn't press her patience anymore. While she wanted to go see what it was, she had a strong hunch as to what it was.  
Walking she turned into a light jog as she ran ahead, hearing a couple more long distance shots before they finally stopped.

This was EXACTLY what she needed. Hands in the air she ventured on through the woods. Maybe the walkers would get her before the people with guns could. Carrie couldn't give a shit regardless, she was on her own and found comfort in her own sick humor. It had become her best adaption in the year that had passed since she was left behind by her 'family' to fend on her own. All the years she spent alone talking to herself and humoring her strange ideologies of life had paid off for this very moment. But what she wouldn't give for a hot meal and a toilet.

* * *

Now he was pissed. The bodies of walkers that Carrie had killed attracted other shells, especially with the hint of their sweat all hanging in the air. There had to be at least thirty coming in from all around them. As a group they fended off all of them with little to no trouble, but the smaller soldier had been bitten on the shoulder by a female one that Merle shot as soon as he saw it's jaw latch into the poor man's skin. He stood shaking, hand trembling over the open wound as blood moved down over his chest and down his back and arm. Eyes wide he backed away from the two, knowing what was about to happen.

The larger man glanced over at Merle who raised his gun, pointed directly at the bitten man's head. "Don't do this. We can take him back to Milton and have him look at it!"

"What do we do for our soldiers?" Merle whispered, eyes burning into the poor sucker's. Another one bit the dust.

"We don't let them turn." Gruff and already mourning, the large man turned away as the sound of a gunshot rang through the air again. His eyes turned to see his fellow soldier's body crumpled on the ground, a gun shot wound fit perfectly between his eyes. "Goddammit. Now we got you an' I. Shit." Carrie against all three was easy, but now Carrie against two of them. While Merle knew he would be able to take her no problem, lugging others around that knew nothing about her was what left a knot in his stomach. Handgun lowered he rested it back on his belt before he turned and followed the trail of boot prints on the ground.

"What are we gonna do when we find her though? How are we gonna...take her out?"

"That'll come down ta if she surrendas or not. Ya might wanna say a prayer."

"Why?"

"She can handle a gun." That was all that needed to be said before Merle heard mumbling behind him. Blade readied he pushed ahead, still eying the area to hopefully find her before she could find him. She showed no remorse when she walked away from him. It pissed him off even more that he found himself caring, about the fact that she had wiggled her way into his mind and kept a hold over him.

"Fuckin bitch." Grumbling at the thought of all the time he had spent with her and know he was on a manhunt for her.  
He'd rather be handcuffed back on the roof again listening to T-Dogg talk into that damn walkie talkie.

The gunshots had frightened her as she ventured on, realizing that she wasn't alone in the close quarters of the woods and behind her, someone had a gun and was using it. It didn't even sound like one gun, it sounded like a few. Pace picked up she found herself running for a little bit before the sound of walkers approaching stopped her. "The fuckers." Tongue bitten she backed up, realizing she had to go in the direction now of where the gun shots came from to keep away from the shells before they passed.

A few walkers approached, turning into what seemed to be at least eight before she took off.

Gun pulled out from the front of her shorts she fired back at a few of them, knocking down two to allow another to stumble and begin to crawl. At least now two were down and one was basically a distraction for the others.

After running for quite a few minutes she found herself climbing up a large tree that she had ran across a few hours before when she had been strolling along earlier in the morning. Climbing trees was not always her forte, and getting down was the toughest part, but if she could find a branch big enough on this large old tree she'd be fine. Before she could really get climbing she noticed something interesting. It was the pile of walkers she had killed earlier.  
Jaw clenched at how far she had backtracked she stopped at the sight of a new body. It was one of the soldiers she knew from Woodbury. Walking over she covered her mouth at the sight of the man dead, bullet hole in his head and bag and gun strewn out beside him. Someone had shot him.

* * *

Crouched down she opened the bag and pulled out a first aid kit and some ammo for the gun. It was an assault rifle. She grinned at the sight, it wasn't an assault rifle like she had thought it was. This gun was a sniper rifle, one like Merle had. It was still well loaded as she lifted it off the ground. Now with another gun she smiled, enjoying the idea that she had an extra item to protect herself from the creatures she had been running from. Turning again to walk ahead she set off, picking up the pace with her new added artillery.

The afternoon had come, sweat now dripping off her as she scouted the area, hearing no more gun shots or even the motion of any walkers. When she thought she could take a sigh of relief an approaching sound left her frozen. Two voices arguing about not getting the man's bag she had taken from and how there was a gun missing.

Carrie crouched down a few yards away, watching the two men carefully before she realized who they were. Frown pressed on her lips she could feel a lump rise in her throat at the sight. It was one of the other Woodbury soldiers with Merle, and they were packing heavy heat.

"_She took the gun? SHE TOOK THE GUN! What are we gonna do Merle?" _

In the scope she could watch his motions as the two continued to yell, most likely attracting walkers in their wake.

_"Merle! Come on man we gotta find her and end this! She has one of our BEST GUNS and she's somewhere out here, she hadn't even made it to the outskirts yet! We can still get her!"_

The realization finally hit her; they sent the men out to get rid of her. The governor was just as bad as she thought he was, underneath the smooth exterior was a real asshole.

Now on the ground she sat up carefully on her knees, holding the rifle tightly in her grip. Locked in on the focus she allowed her finger to slip onto the trigger before she checked the safety. She zoomed in on Merle, trying to aim for his head. Arm trembling she could feel her eyes widening, realizing just what she was about to do.

_'He's going to do it to you. PULL THE TRIGGER!'_

Sight adjusted she pointed it to the man standing next to him. A smile bounced off her mouth at the sight of him standing there, arms waving in the air as the fat followed. Teeth ran over her bottom lip before she squeezed the trigger.

A shot rang out through the woods before Merle noticed his last soldier fall to the ground with a powerful thud. He bent over, seeing the shot through the head before he instinct kicked in. Crouched on the ground he pulled his gun on, sniper rifle still sitting on his shoulder.

The woods had seemingly gone silent as Merle watched carefully. She wasn't in his sights, but apparently he was in hers. Now here they stood, gun to gun, ready to fight. This was far from what he wanted to say the least, but his orders were orders and if she was ready to fire at him, he was ready to fire at her.

Carrie could feel her heart pounding in her chest, breathing heavy at the realization that she was now facing someone that had the intent to kill her. She hadn't thought about it until then, but it took her mind to a completely different place.

Squinting she waited for him to move but still found him dead still.  
"Ya gon' shoot me?" He yelled, gun cocked and ready to fire. "Sweetheart ya did this to yaself! So ya best shoot me 'fore I shoot you! If ya even can!"

Rage boiling up she adjusted her stance, now standing off the ground. She wanted to see him fall with her own eyes, not through the scope. Carrie moved to fire when she heard a growling behind her. Retracting back she let out a scream as two biters approached her, and they looked more than hungry. Merle caught sight of a few silhouettes struggling and ran over to see the sight. It was Carrie with two biters, shoving them back and stabbing them before the two stood face to face. They drew on instinct, circling one another carefully as the bugs buzzed over the bodies on the ground between them.

Smirk over Merle's lips he glanced her over, she had already been through what seemed like a good number of walkers. Her legs were covered with dirt and most likely ticks like when they had found her. Hair had been up in a shirt but that had fallen out from when she just was in the entanglement. His eyes moved down to her chest, enjoying the outfit she had on.  
"Ya lookin good sweetheart." He chuckled, shocked as she raised the rifle to him, "Ya shoot me, ya best pray I'm dead."

"I shoot to kill." She hissed in response, but stopped at the site of another biter walking up behind him. She quickly fired as the body dropped to the ground. Merle turned to see what it was and cursed as he caught her out of the corner of his eye running off into the woods.

"Get back here!" In a sprint she continued to glance back, finding him in the distance still chasing her. The two moved through the forest quickly, finding and stumbling over dips in the ground, bodies to move over, and ways to hide.

Quickly she turned to hide behind the trunk of a large tree, waiting for Merle to catch up before he stopped, gun raised to glance around. "Ya best come out right now!" He barked, trying to find movement in the trees and brush around him.

Adjusting her gun she made sure it was loaded before she turned to face him, the two firing and missing before he charged at her, knocking her to the ground in a hurry. "You bastard!" She screamed, hitting the dirt head first before she found him standing over her, gun cocked at her head.

Swiftly she brought her leg up, kicking him in the waist he stumbled back. Carrie rolled away from him and stood up, charging at him she moved to punch him. Merle blocked with his forearm before he went to grab her wrist. She slipped out and moved behind him, kicking him squarely in the curve of his back to knock him forward. He covered his mouth, wiping the spit that had flown out before he turned to find her sending her fist in his direction. He quickly blocked it and finally grabbed a hold of her arm, twisting it behind her so he had her by the back.

Carrie kicked up, trying to send herself into the air to kick him before she flung herself to the ground to go into a death roll. The two fell over and began to struggle, her left hand with the blade swinging ferociously like before. Merle reached up as he sat over her, pinning her left arm down. Elbow on her right hand he pulled the pistol out of it's holder, and held it to the back of her head.

The sound of the safety off against the back of her head she could feel the cold metal against her scalp.

She tried pushing herself up, meeting Merle shoving her back down to the ground. Her feet kicked in the air, backs of her thighs hitting his crotch. "Ya best stop 'fore I blow ya brains out." He hissed, now resting over her he whispered into her ear. "Now ya fuckin' listen to me. The govena gon' send men out e'ry day if I don't kill ya or if ya get away." She moved to scream, only for Merle to shove her head into the dirt. "Shut the fuck up!" He growled, feeling her hips raising to try and shove him off. "Try all ya want sweetheart," He chuckled, leaning down next to her face. "I know ya body better than anyone."

Carrie could feel the tears stinging her face and falling into the dirt. "You asshole." She coughed, turning into a broken sob. "If you're gonna kill me, do it!" Carrie barked, hands still under his control. "I ain't gonna beg you for my life. Fucking DO IT!" In the split second she found she moved her bladed hand and swung at his arm, leaving a long cut down the side. Cursing Merle shot up, only to find a sight that was the last thing he wanted. Her eyes followed before the realization clicked. "We got biters!" The two stood up, back to back, with at least twelve biters moving to them quickly. "You're blood's attracting them! Fucking asshole!" She yelled, pulling her handgun out of her pants and shooting two of them.

Merle stood doing the same as their backs pressed harder against each other, trying to stick together as the hungry dead approached faster at the sight of his open wound. He held his arm us a biter had finally tried to attack him, shooting him quickly as it fell down. The two continued to shoot as the zombies fell one by one.  
Separated they turned to face each other when three more had staggered toward them, knocking them to the ground.

Carrie reached and swung her blade, knocking the head off of one before she crawled over to Merle and took a swing at the other one bending over as he stabbed the third one. The bodies fell as she moved onto her back. Silence creeping over them before he came to, blood dripping off his nose from where she had swung before. Apparently she had gotten the hit in and he couldn't help but laugh. His groin hurt, arm stinging, and now his face; she put up one hell of a fight.  
Her face was smeared with dirt, same as her neck and chest. Standing he pointed his gun at her while she still remained on the ground. "Let go of the gun." He whispered, watching as she immediately dropped it. Her eyes seemed almost dead, body still as he moved over her. "Ya got anything to say?"

She remained silent, only comprehending what he was doing as tears rolled down the corners of her eyes before they hit the ground. What could she say...that she didn't care anymore? That everything she had was gone? Or maybe that she was finally ready to go home to be with her family? She could picture hugging her brothers and mother again, lifting up her nephew and cousins and telling them how much she missed them. "Ya got nothing to say? NOTHING TO SAY?" He yelled, snapping her back to the situation. "Ya ain't gon say anythin?" Merle had to admit, this pissed him off. She had no words for him? No 'Please?' No begging? No...no, he didn't want to hear THAT. "Fuck ya then." He whispered, now pointing the gun directly at her forehead.  
Something, deep down in him, was screaming at him. Since he had gone to Woodbury, he had killed at least six men. All were in the way of his goals set by the governor, and while at first it made him sick, the burden had become something he could bear. He could almost feel the governor staring him down, screaming at him to pull the trigger.

_"I wouldn't mind it. Why...you don't want me to know you?" _

He could still picture her standing over him in the library saying that, a lollipop in her mouth as she held a book in her hand.

Head turned away he glanced back down to see her, eyes closed, ready to eat the bullet.

_"Don't be sayin' shit like that and be runnin' off! If ya wanna get to know Merle..." He snaked an arm around her shoulder, closing the book while she began reading the author's note. "Ya gotta let me show ya."_

_Carrie's lips puckered into a smart smirk before she turned to face him. "Consider it a challenge then Merle."_

"Goddammit!" He barked, lowering the gun. Carrie's eyes shot open as he turned the safety back on and slid it into his holster. He couldn't bring himself to do it. For whatever reason, looking at her, he just couldn't kill her. "Ya fuckin' bitch. Ya couldn't beg for ya life or nothin. You that cold?" Pacing back and forth he extended his arms. "Ya that cold to me? Can't even beg ME for ya life?" The two watched each other, unsure of what else to say.

"It ain't a life worth living for if I have to beg." Carrie whispered, immediately calling his attention. "If you want to kill me, do it, I ain't ever pleaded for my life before. Not when my family left me to run from this bullshit, not when you found me, not when every group I have gone through has interrogated me, never when I had a gun pulled on me back home. I will NEVER beg a man for my life!" She screamed, the visions flashing in her head of family threatening her with guns, to shut up, to mind her words, or in drunken fits of rage. Tears stung her eyes as she pointed at him. "I will never, EVER beg anyone for my life! I have fought through this whole thing by myself! I have no one left! You think I'm gonna beg? Like my life is worth that much? Hell no! You and all the Woodbury men can kiss my ass!" Arms raised she leaned forward, egging him on as he watched in silence, eyes wide. "You want what the governor wants? You want my body for proof? Fucking fine!" Carrie pulled the gun out of her pants and undid the safety.

He knew exactly what she was planning to do and snatched the gun from her, pointing it now at her before he fixed the safety. "You fuckin bitch! We all lost everythin! Ya know I lost mah brother! I lost this!" He screamed, holding up his metal contraption. "Ya...ya don't understand why we do what-"

"I don't want to understand!" She yelled back, still struggling against him. "I don't want anything to do with them OR you!" The words sank in to him as he grimaced, handing the gun back over to her. She glanced down at it and back up at him as he stepped back. "I...I didn't mean it." He continued to back away when she ran up to him, stopping him. "You chose Woodbury, that's your decision." She ran a hand over his face, tracing his jaw like she always had done. "I chose my life. I'm already dead Merle, I just go through the motions. In Woodbury, that's not where I'd rather fight my last battle. I'm not gonna beg you for my life...but we have our separate paths. I don't belong there."

Merle pushed her hand away, realizing what has happened. "I can't kill ya. I just can't." He whispered, running his hand over his face. "Go." He growled. Carrie's brow crinkled as he pointed away to the northwest. "If ya go that way, you'll be on your way from Woodbury. The govena won't suspect ya still alive after all this." His clothes were dirtied and splattered with blood, gash in her arm prime evidence of a struggle. Eyes enlarged she watched him before he dropped his hand. "Get outta here. Lyin to the govena already gon' cost me-" Quickly she pulled him into into a tight kiss, trying to memorize as much as she could of him. Letting go she stepped away, leaving him stunned long enough to turn and snatch the rifle up before she took off into the woods.

He watched her figure fade quickly through the shroud of green as the noise of her feet dissipated into the call of the bugs and creatures. Merle could honestly say he felt sick, not only had he just betrayed the governor and his trust, but she was officially gone. Everything was gone. Turning back to Woodbury's direction he moved along into the late afternoon, the sun hitting him harshly as he moved through the woods. Anger had bubbled up in him as he slashed trees and whatever he could get his hands on.  
Merle's mind derailed through his thought process, struggling to figure out what he was really doing. Things would go back to normal, hopefully, but it wasn't something he could shake. Carrie had been the one girl who wanted to know him, not the drugs, not a deal, not sex, she wanted to know him. She abandoned him, didn't she?  
This was the price of him allowing someone in besides his brother, and the cost was hefty. "Fuckin bitch, fuckin no good dirty cunt!" He yelled, feelings welling in him before he continued on his rampage of killing and breaking everything in his sight. "Ya left me!" He barked. "YA LEFT ME!"

* * *

Merle eventually found his way back to Woodbury that evening, coming in bloodied and battered, and told the governor that Carrie was dead. Phillip was shocked at the sight of the man and told him one thing he'd never forget.  
_"She was a good kid, just a stupid one."_

Carrie wasn't stupid, she was smart as hell. She was just as smart as the governor, she just wasn't as fucked up as him. She didn't keep her family member chained up and hidden so they could 'still be a family.'  
A good kid? Well...that was a tad farfetched. No one was good in this world anymore. Even children and the elderly spilled blood to keep themselves and others safe. Everyone was just equal anymore, or unless they were sick in the head, that was a whole other level below the average man in the new existence.

That night he had spent the whole time in the infirmary and went on to spend some time drinking. After a few weeks he could feel her presence slowly fading from his life in Woodbury and as he found a few girls to fool around with, the stinging pain went away. The outfit she had made still sat under his bed in a box though, he wouldn't let any girls he brought back where it.  
Soon, he had come across a blond woman with a woman who had walkers as pets it seemed. It had been Andrea, from his group in Atlanta, and she had told him his brother was alive last she saw of him. The other woman he only knew as 'Michonne.' Following this, Michonne had been another to stumble on the walkers they had captured and did just what Carrie had done. It was a repeat of what happened before, and the governor sent Merle out to kill her as well.

It was a different situation than before, he had no connection to her, and had ended up putting a bullet in her leg before she disappeared off as well.

Again, Merle lied to the governor and said he killed her.  
Only a few days later Merle had captured another man from Atlanta and his apparent girlfriend, a farmer's daughter. The two were rescued by who he knew as 'officer friendly' and war broke out. He had been brought to the arena, the original plan for many of the walkers that weren't for testing, and was shocked to see who his opponent was when the dust had settled.

His brother, Daryl.  
The two fought their way out of the town and to safety outside the gates. However, officer friendly wasn't really friendly in welcoming Merle back to where they had been held up, in a prison.

Merle and Daryl went off on their own into the woods as Friendly took his people back to where they were staying.

For Carrie, she spent the time since Merle had let her run off fighting her way through walkers and finding places to stay temporarily for weeks as summer rolled in. But the hot weather had left her in a different situation than last summer, when she had spent her time with a group on the coast. This was her weakness, and she sat alone under a tree waiting for death to bite her in the ass.

She was helpless, and couldn't understand what had happened.

The weeks of hell, it'd all be for nothing...

In the distance she heard gun shots and screams, and one had caught her attention in particular. The wailing cries of a baby.  
Standing up she took her last swigs of water, sweating and and exhausted from her constant running for the past two days she moved her way to the direction of where the noise was coming from. It was a bridge over a flowing river and a family was fighting off a large group of walkers. She pulled out a rifle she had stolen off a body she found a few days before and moved forward, shooting one in the head as she moved in to help the others.

Fate had a funny way of doing things...

* * *

**A/N: **ALRIGHT! There we go! Merle ALMOST, ALLLLMOST killed her! But in the end we see the good guy that he really is underneath the surface. Did y'all see Conan last night? Carol and a NOT DEAD Merle came charging in and I fangirled and fanned myself seeing Rooker look so gorgeous. He even pulled a girl with them and I was screaming that I wanted it to be me! Just reminds me why I love his character, badass as hell, will take care of getting rid of the walkers, and still finds time for a piece of ass (though I think it's not fair I wasn't there!)

Anyways, excuse me while I clean myself up from that. This chapter was inspired by listening to a shit load of Breaking Benjamin, mainly 'I Will Now Bow', 'Give Me A Sign' and 'Dance With The Devil' :)

So now we are caught up! 10 chapters and we're approaching the biggest part, I think you all know EXACTLY what that is!

So leave a review, tell me what do you think is gonna happen, and what you think about Merle and Carrie's final conversation before he let her go? Was a lot of things unsaid? Should he have killed her?

Y'all know the routine, review, fave, and follow!  
Thank you for 3k hits on this story, I love you all bunches! We have hit ten chapters and I'm very proud, so happy ten chapter birthday!


	11. Our Foundation

**A/N: **we're approaching the near point of the end you guys! Thank you so much for all the reviews and love you have all given this story! I appreciate it so much! The title of this chapter comes from a video I watched on youtube about my FAVORITE TV couple of all time, Carrie and Mr. Big. The song is called 'Foundations' by Kate Nash. I SWEAR if you give it a listen you will see why I find it to fit Carrie and Merle so much.  
And I just realized that it's Carrie/Mr. Big and Carrie/Merle...damn haha! So before you read this chapter I suggest listening to it, pop the headphones in and get a good chuckle out of the song!

~Lindsey

* * *

The heat had finally peaked in the afternoon, the hiss in the air and blurry vision ahead had wrecked Carrie as she continued to follow the noise. When she thought she could finally rest, maybe a chance to sleep, or even drift away, the noise had picked up and again she was moving.

Dressed in a pair of shorts and an open green button down, she had slid on her cami underneath and buttoned a few of the bottom buttons. Still in her hiking boots she had been covered in dirt and most likely ticks underneath them. From the heat she had been feeling for a few days and waves of nausea, she most likely had been infected from all the ticks on her. One thing she had been on the lookout for was a lighter or a match to find them and get them out with a needle that she had grabbed from before she left Woodbury.

Hair hanging down over her chest she had broken the other hair ties she had left, hair nappy and sticking to her neck in the coat of sweat she had running down over her chest.

Carrie stopped at the one side of the bridge, shocked at the sight in front of her. Walkers were moving all around and in the middle sat a red van with a woman and child in it. That was the baby that was screaming, and most likely the reason the walkers had moved in. Two men, who were running around like chickens with their heads cut off, were shooting as many walkers as they could.  
Moving in with her gun she glanced to find one staring at her as she shot one of the walkers. "You need help?" She yelled, now firing at a few others. When he didn't respond she went to her backup, moving in closer to stand near him. "Yo puedo ayudarte! Necesita ayuda?" His eyes wide he nodded and the two began shooting again before Carrie lifted her arm and sliced the head off of a biter in front of her. The three continued to struggle fighting them back as the two men ran over on top of a car as she moved in the opposite direction fighting walkers off again with her blade. "Fucking douche." Carrie growled, struggling to keep the blade locked in place.

With another walkers down she shrieked as the blade snapped off it's holster and fell to the ground still in the walker's chin. "Son of a bitch!" She yelled. Now holding only a knife and her gun.  
Feet maneuvered forward, pacing before she sprung on a walker and stabbed it from behind. Blood spewed out when she shoved it off and found her eyes moving toward where the men were standing. The two stood surrounded by the biters as they crowded the movement of the humans and reached up, gasping and groaning for a meal. "Goddammit." A groan escaped her throat before she pulled one of the shells back and sliced it's throat, turning it's head to snap it's neck before it dropped to the ground. Carrie did this a few more times before the walkers and her fatigue over powered her again, her adrenaline running on empty for almost a year.

Now backed up between two walkers she had pulled the attention over to herself as the two men jumped down and backed away. When she caught sight of this she hollered, cursing aloud at their 'returning the favor.'  
"SONS OF BITCHES!" Carrie continued to scream, shoving a couple back before she stabbed one to send to others on the wing to feast on. "USTED CONOS!" In shock the two men stood silent and soon found themselves dealing with other walkers that had straggled over, fighting them in a hurry. The one man had been cornered when something took down the walkers in front of him. He was shocked to find arrows in their heads as two men came over, one running with a loaded crossbow and another with his hand wrapped around a gun, the other obviously missing with a metal holster over it.

Yanking the arrows out of the heads of the walkers the man loaded his crossbow again and glanced over at the group that looked to be feasting. "She..She's alive!" The one man barked, english not his forte as he fired at a few of the walkers. Crossbow in the other man's hand he joined in on shooting before the one handed man began to fire, a smirk on his face as he watched the show. The men began to see Carrie fighting back, struggling against the walkers as she continued to kick them back and stab.

"ABOUT FUCKING TIME YOU HELP!" Carrie screamed, now covered in walker blood and guts before she finished the last one off, standing as she huffed for air. "I can't do this shit no more." Tears stung her cheeks as her life had flashed before her the entire time she was in the struggle. Wiping her hair out of her face she walked over to the men she had been helping and glared at them. "Thanks a lot."

"We...we give you supplies. You don't look well. You look sick." Carrie eyed the man with the crossbow, he had been carefully examining her.

"What the hell you lookin at?" A hiss escaped her lips, turning her safety on and sliding it into the front of her pants and her knife into the side pocket of her bag as the man picked up his bag.

He was definitely a rough looking guy, looked like a lot of guys she knew from home. Built, scruffy, and up for a fight. Very interesting... "A thank ya would be nice." His drawl sounded familiar to her and stopped her before he spoke again. "Ya bit?"

Carrie shook her head, wiping her face with her forearm. "No, and thank you. I'm just pissed cause these assholes didn't help me!" When she returned her glance to the two strangers she was pleased to see them handing her a small bag. "First aid?" The man quickly nodded as she examined what it contained. Some bandages, ointment, gauze, and what appeared to be a bottle of generic ibuprofen, about half full as she shook it. "Gracias." Her hand extended the two shook hands before she turned to walk past them. "Where you headin?" Her voice directed to the man with the crossbow he shrugged. "The way you going, you heading to the highway it seems. That's risky without a car. I was planning on hitting up some local towns, if you're interested. I owe it to you for saving my ass and all, I can show you around the area."

"I know it pretty good." He whispered, hoisting his crossbow over his shoulder, bag over the other shoulder. "But could use an eye that knows the area better..." Doubt flooded his mind as he glanced her over. "You sure you ain't bit? Ya look sick."

"Been running a fever, but that's from the sun, nothing more. Gonna be taking these sooner or later." She shook the pill bottle before she popped two in her mouth and grabbed her worn bottle of water. A quick small sip downed the pills before she stuck her tongue out. "Damn swallowing pills dry is still a bitch." Crossbow man chuckled, sending her a funny glance before he shook his head. "Anything funny crossbow man? That's what I'm gonna call you until you tell me you're name!"

"The name's Daryl." Their attention turned to the sound of the baby wailing as a car door opened and a figure was hunched over, obviously going through what they had. "Dammit Merle!"

Carrie froze as he walked over and glanced around before Daryl raised his crossbow to the man that was going through the car. "I know ya ain't pointin that thing at me lil brother." The voice was exactly the same, and it left her taking a step back, ready to run if she had to. Daryl glanced over at her, brow furrowed in confusion as he backed up for Merle to step away and the family to get in the car and take off. "Boy what the hell you think ya doin..." His words trailed off at the sight Daryl had locked his eyes on, crossbow still raised. "Holy shit." Merle was almost lost for words at sight before him. There was the girl he had let run, the girl that played a major part in him being called a 'traitor' in Woodbury, and now here she stood in front of him. "Ya gotta be shittin me. Sugar is that you?"

"Been a bit of time Merle, ain't it?" She drew her gun and unlocked the safety, pointing it at him before Daryl stepped in front of his brother on instinct. Realizing what the hell he was doing he moved to the side, allowing the two to stand there as he walked ahead to the end of the bridge. Whatever was going on, that was their own business. Daryl wasn't a patient man, and he hoped Merle wouldn't take too long with this one. "What the hell you doing outside Woodbury? Thought you'd still be kissing the governor's ass still."

"Shut the hell up!" Merle barked, glaring at her as he raised his gun. "Sides...ya was the one that left me!" He paused, watching her carefully. "I left Woodbury. That's mah brother over there."

"That's your brother..." Carrie glanced back, a smile moving over her lips at the realization that Merle had found his family after all. She lowered her gun, still smiling as she glanced back at him. "I'm happy you found him." The two stood awkwardly for a few minutes before Merle lowered his gun. "What happened in Woodbury?"

Merle frowned at her, eyes burning into hers in a dark scowl. "Shit. Ya left me there-"

"I had NO choice!"

"Tha fuck ya didn't! Ya was nice and comfy in Woodbury. Had hot meals, a showah, a bed...you and me we had somethin' goin." Her eyes widened as Daryl glanced back, thumbnail between his teeth to pick something. This usually wasn't as long as he had taken with women before. By now they'd be crying or screaming and the girl would run off.

"Ya just went on and did what ya wanted and it cost ya, it cost me to-"

She snorted, shrugging her shoulders. "You know as well as I do that you went on and sacked it in with others girls. I wanted you to leave with me. You and me, looking for Daryl and out there killing those zombies...I wanted that so badly! But you didn't even acknowledge me! I'm going with Daryl for supplies, I don't know about you but..." Trailing off she found herself getting upset. "I'm getting stuff for myself and then I'll be out of your way."

Carrie turned and moved toward Daryl, nodding at him before they continued walking on the road. Merle trailed behind, watching with a scowl as his baby brother began talking to the girl he had spent so much of his energy on in Woodbury.  
"So ya lived in Woodbury? With mah brother?" Daryl scoffed, shaking his head. "Ya not that bright are ya?"

"When paradise buzzes in your head, you lose your common sense."

Merle picked up the pace, butting in on their conversation. "That ain't what ya was sayin all them nights. Oooh Merle." Daryl couldn't help but laugh as Merle mocked her, licking his lips as she tried to ignore him. "Harder Merle, rougher, please Merle...please BABY, please...DADDY." Her cheeks burned as he leaned in closer, his breath moving over the curve of her neck. "Who's still ya daddy?"

"Ew man shut the hell up!" Daryl barked, lost between nausea and pity for the girl he was walking next to. "Damn what the hell were ya thinkin?" He asked Carrie, who was still shaking her head. "You give her the clap?"

"What the hell!" Carrie screeched, glancing back at the man she had been sleeping with before she shot her attention back to Daryl. "He had the clap?"

"Damn right he did."

Merle's frustration had almost boiled over as Daryl spilled out details about his brother to her. In a way it seemed like it was payback for all his baby brother had gone through to save his ass. Being captured by the governor, stuck in an arena to take his hits and fight off walkers, then to give up his entire group and Officer Friendly...this was still cold.

"I didn't have it no more. Got it taken care of."

She shook her head, arms crossed at the thought of her contracting it from him. Carrie knew he hadn't told her a lot about his life, it was stuff she really didn't care to know about, but this involved their...intimate time, and that could have affected her health. "Dick."

* * *

The small town had been abandoned for quite some time, another one that Woodbury and the prison had both gone through. "I'll show you guys where I've been spending some of my time at. Ain't much but the shit is enough." She had directed them through the chain fence, closing the gate behind them and up the metal steps to the door where she had opened it. The place looked like a small restaurant before the apocalypse had occurred. Two small round tables had been pushed next to the window and chair cushions had been put one one of the tables, most likely her pillows. Around the rest of the open space it was empty before she opened another door to reveal empty counters. "If ya need a place to sleep for the night, this'd be the best place for ya. I'm going on the move today or tomorrow again anyways. I'm gonna be heading for the water to find an island or something, or retreat deep in the mountains. Just spend the time hunting and taking care of myself. Maybe head up north toward the Appalachians."

"We used ta live more rural Georgia. Northeast of Atlanta, way north."

She nodded before she pulled them over to the window, pointing around at the stores. "Okay look, there ain't much left here. They got the bar, I ain't cleaned that out yet, I know ya'll got the good shit when ya cleaned out with Woodbury a few months ago." Carrie grimaced, glaring back at Merle as he smirked. "There's a few other places to hit up, convenience store and a gas station. Besides that I'm gonna be on the move again soon." Resting her bag on the counter she leaned against it, rubbing her head. "Still feeling like shit. Ya got some booze or somethin?"

"Ya need somethin, I got somethin for ya."

"Merle, fuck you."

Daryl turned away, cracking up at her brash attitude. Merle certainly had a way with the ladies like no one else. "Merle, calm yaself man jesus christ. Can't keep it in ya pants."

"She never let me anyways-" A swift kick was brought to his knee before he hobbled over to his brother, cursing her aloud. "Goddamn bitch!" Sliding down the wall he plopped on the ground, rubbing his knee gently before he glanced up at her. "Lil Dee, let's go. I ain't dealin with this cunt. Got a chip on a shoulder for nothin."

"Only chip I got is the fact I'm trying to break this fever. Y'all can leave if you want." The words shocked Merle, she didn't want him to stay? He expected for her to ask Daryl to go patrol the area, or at least offer and as soft as his baby brother was, he'd tell her to stay. Then she'd cry and scream at him and she'd fight at him and then she'd tell him how much she missed him and they'd end up bumping uglies before Daryl got back. "I need to rest anyways."

Merle still sitting on the ground she moved over to the makeshift bed and sat her bag down. "What's wrong?"

"Mah knee. Fuckin bitch, got any pain killahs?"

"Will that get you out of here quicker?" Merle's glare shot through her when she rummaged through the small first aid kit the main gave her and she pulled out two. Walking over she dropped them in his hand. "Spare some water?" Carrie's groan pulled at his lips, a smirk plastered over as she handed him her bottle. A long swig allowed the pills to find their way down and he handed the bottle back to her. "Okay, you good?"

"They gotta get in his system." Daryl mummbled, fiddling with his crossbow to load it before he nodded toward the door. "You two stay here, I'll go see what shit I can scrounge up."

Merle's eyes lite up, maybe his brother knew him better after all. "I'm not comfortable with you going out there by yourself. Cause god knows if you get hurt or worse I am NOT keeping him with me!" Carrie barked, pointing down at Merle. "Let me go with you-"

"With that fever? Ya was staggering the whole way here girl. I won't be long." Carrie pulled out the handgun in her waistband and handed it to him. "Use this to. When you come back you bring that to me. Understand?" Daryl nodded and moved out of the door and closed it behind him quietly before she could hear him descending the metal stairs and was gone.  
Carrie sat down on the table as Merle rested against the wall, moving his knee. "Sorry...for you know." Her hand extended to his knee before she crossed her arms again. "But I ain't fooling around with shit now. The sooner Daryl gets back the sooner you guys are gone."

"Ya just gonna toss us out?" He chuckled, shoulders moving at her blunt cold shoulder. "That's one big bug ya got up ya ass."

She took out her knife and a flat stone she had in her bag and began to sharpen it. "Ya got any cigarettes?" Ignoring him she continued to sharpen the blade, sparks flying off a few times as her swipes became rougher. "Girlie, I was talkin to ya." In response she pushed an even harder swipe. Anger boiling in his stomach he stood up, still holding his knee. That was gonna be one ugly ass bruise when the pain went away. "Ya answer me when I'm talkin to ya little girl-" Carrie's brow twitched as the words moved through her brain. No one spoke to her like that, not even her parents. When they had tried to speak to her like that, it was met with silence. After all she had been through with them, the moving, the drinking, the pill abuse, they had no right to dictate her any more, at least to her.  
The idea of Merle speaking to her like that, a man she had let in for the first time in years, like a parent, sent her over the edge rather quickly. Arm brought back she quickly flung the knife out, watching as it hit a cabinet door and cracked it completely down the middle.

Wood fell to the counter and to the ground, small bits flying as Merle whistled, admiring the shot. "Got ya panties in a bunch did I?" A grin moved over his lips as she watched him, eyes wide and lips turned down unlike him. "Ya need to calm yaself princess." In a swift move she took a leap toward him and brought her hand up to meet his cheek. A hard slap echoed around the room as the red spot immediately brightened his face. Merle quickly responded by grabbing her arm and turning her to hold it behind her. She fought with the other one, reaching to scratch him before he pinned that down in front of her with his other arm. "Don't ya EVER hit me, ya understand me?" His breath was hot against her neck, heartbeat pounding in his cheek as he looked down at her with disgust. "Ya should be greatful I don't kill ya ass-"

"Then you should have done it when the governor wanted you to." Words stinging him just as hard, if not more than the slap, he shoved her to hit the tables. "You should have and I know you still wish you could have!"

In the back of his mind, immediately after, he would have agreed with her. The guilt he felt for betraying the governor made him sick. But after he had stolen the Chinese kid and the farmer's daughter and started all this shit, he wished he would have left WITH her. He knew as a duo they could probably find Daryl, especially with the map Andrea had given him a few months ago, and then they would have all probably retreated into the mountains or made their way to the coast. The idea of escaping that hell and living out the rest of his days with Daryl was a dying wish of his, that things could be like they were before, and having Carrie there...someone he could see barefoot and with a baby on the way, was like a cherry on top. Before this all began, before he was even in Woodbury, he would have never thought anything like that. Living with Daryl yes? But it'd also be spending his time getting high as a kite and living in Merleworld where the women came easy, the drugs came cheap, and his brother and him got rid of any shit in their way. It didn't involve keeping a girl around that wasn't just helping him get what he wanted. Even when he woke up from that dream, his mind was screaming 'ya gone soft ya pussy fucker!' but he knew it wasn't going soft...it was something that he didn't have growing up. It was a family, raising a kid, giving that child a mother and father that loved them and didn't put anyone else before it.

In the months he had known her, it felt like years, and in the zombie apocalypse it didn't matter where you came from before, it was what the hell you did in that moment and on that built your new life.

"Ya know what? Ya right. I should have killed ya ass!" A hard shove forced her forward before she turned around, eyes wide that he agreed with her. "I should have killed ya ass cause I couldn't stop thinkin of ya!" This...wasn't what she had expected. "Ya was right! The governa...he...he was a sick man. I knew he had his agenda, thought it was for tha good of the town. Carrie..." He whispered, moving closer to her. "I killed sixteen men when I was there."

Carrie wasn't used to him saying her name, and knew that he was trying to say something that wasn't what Merle would usually speak. The anger fell off of her quickly, remembering that he was human, and that without the governor, he was someone she could listen to. "I done many things I ain't proud of, specially bein there...I ain't gon apologize. You know me." That was the truth though, the day Merle apologized would be the day hell froze over. "But I ain't gonna let ya keep on goin by yaself like this. None of us can go it alone anymore. Ya know that...that sooner or later, ya gon end up bein killed. Livin or dead, ya gon be killed by somethin."

"Merle you just don't get it. You, of all people in that town, knew me. If you wanted to leave with me, you saw what they did, they sent people after me. We could have ran. We could have hid and found your brother. No...now it's me and me alone. You don't have the right to say anything to me, you lost that."

His hand moved over his head before he extended it, trying to find the words to say. "Ya got a death wish? Ya wanna die that badly?" Carrie's lips pursed before he spoke again. "I couldn't of left, ya know that damn good and well. The govena would of forgave ya. Ya know that to. YA BROUGHT THIS ON YASELF!"

"I'm proud of my choice!" She screamed back, still holding her ground against him. "That town is fucked up beyond comprehension! You and those men...you all SLAUGHTERED people and kept shells for your own gain!" He glanced away, annoyance well past peaked as she continued, stepping closer to him. "And don't you dare say that that wasn't your choice! You participated just as much as any of them did! You did whatever he said and didn't question it! Fuck you!" Out of all the time he had spent with her, this was the most angry she had ever been. Sure there were times she was peeved, other times...hormonal, but she had never been this angry about anything.

Merle finally snapped, realizing he was gaining no ground with her. "If ya shut the fuck up for one second ya'd realize if I didn't give a fuck about ya I'd have killed ya ass by now! Ya don't seem to get that I didn't fuckin kill ya when Phillip wanted me to!" Her nose crinkled as he raged on, spilling out what he had been holding back for weeks, even months. "DID IT CROSS YA MIND THAT I SAVED YA LIFE? THAT I'VE BEEN TAKIN CARE OF YA? NO ONE ELSE GIVES A SHIT BOUT YOU BUT ME! YA SELFISH BITCH!"

"I didn't give a shit before and I DON'T give a shit now!" The two continued to argue, pulling out whatever they could against each other. For some reason they both had an idea of how they wanted to face each other if they ever did meet again, but this was far from the idea they had. "You...I tried so hard to get to know you! Out of all people I could have known in that damn town, I wanted to know you!" Finger pointed at him he watched as her hand trembled. "Out of all the shit I've been through, you were the one thing I saw as a light in what the fuck was going on. I wanted you, I wanted to spend all my time ON you. LOOK WHERE THAT GOT ME? I ain't going with you! You'd just leave me out on my own, AGAIN!"

The two stood in silence for a few minutes before he sat down on the ground, hoping Daryl would show up again soon. Carrie pushed her hair out of her face before she glanced down to see Merle sitting with a hand propped gently on the knee she kicked. Her chest heaved, regretting what she had done to him. Hands pushed her off the table, hopping down to the ground when she walked over. Blue eyes glanced up to see her standing there, taking in a few details he had noticed since he had seen her quite a bit ago when she ran off. Her hair had grown a little bit more, she had thinned out even more, and that was something he didn't like. "Ya look like ya haven't eaten right in a while."

Lowering to the ground she sat on her knees, resting a hand on the injured one she leaned her head against it. For whatever reason, she had always found herself dazed around him, like he had a hold on her she couldn't break. Maybe it was the fact that he was older and he knew how to twist her emotions, but it was something that didn't affect her to much. He was the one that took care of her in Woodbury, even if he didn't want to admit it. "Ain't done much since then." She whispered. "Sorry, 'bout kicking you and all." Her arms wrapped around his leg, trying to find a space in her mind to rest.

"Come 'ere sugar." Merle patted his thigh, lowering his leg as she moved closer, her caution not surprising him. "I ain't gonna do nothin, just come 'ere." He whispered, settling as she sat on him. He wrapped his arms around her lower back, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. A few minutes later she finally wrapped her arms around his neck and closed her eyes, deep breaths allowing him to hunch over, almost sleepy as she pushed her head into the crook of his neck. "What ya doin?" He chuckled, a wave of relief washing over him as she had come around like he had hoped. Merle could tell the animosity she held against him was still there, and would be for a very long time, but it felt great to feel her weight on him again. "Carrie?"

"Shut up for a while okay? If you're gonna sneak off and steal my stuff when I fall asleep, I just want to know I fell asleep still seeing you..." Merle's eyes widened at her choice of words, stopping him from any original plans he had thought of before. Carrie had drifted off a short bit later, arms still wrapped around him.  
This was what he had hoped for, for such a long time, and now that he had her again it was completely different than before. He couldn't call it love, Merle Dixon couldn't love, but he felt a bond to her that he hadn't felt for any woman he had known before her. Maybe it was true, the apocalypse changed who you were, and who you were before the apocalypse died with the rest of existence. Who you were from then on was what others saw you as. The governor and Woodbury saw him before he left as their leading lieutenant, a cold, rough, fighter that took no shit. While that was true, no one saw him as any more than that. Women craved the idea of sleeping with one of the top men in the town and with the end of the world, they'd take what they could get. Carrie was completely different, she saw him as a combatant, a close friend, and someone underneath the stained hands. She saw a man that had been hurting, who still craved what he had before it all, and excepted that.

What seemed like hours, the two had been shocked as footsteps stormed up and opened the door, Daryl quickly closing it behind him as he glanced down to see the two. "What the hell is this? She just was bitchin bout ya when I left..."

"Shut up Derle. We got shit sorted." He whispered. "We ain't takin her shit either. She comin with us." Daryl's scowl had Merle chuckling as he sat up, causing her to stir. "Come on suga, wake up. We getting ready to go." Carrie woke up and found herself still resting on Merle's lap. Her hand griped his shirt before the two stood up. "What ya get Derlina?"  
Daryl dropped his bag and a bag he had grabbed on the table and opened them. He had found some canned food, a few sets of bandages, some pain meds in bottles, and most excitingly a few bottles of alcohol and quite a few packs of cigarettes. Merle immediately grabbed a pack of cigarettes and lite one before he glanced back at Carrie. "Ya got ticks on ya don't ya..." Carrie nodded in response, glancing over her arms and legs. "Come on, they got a bathroom in here, I'll check ya out. Derle, look at the map and figure out what we gon do next."

Merle followed her through a door and into a small hallway with two doors for bathrooms. Light peaked through small windows above the stalls. Sitting on the ground he pointed in front of him to the cold tiled floor. "Sit down, take ya stuff off. Can't spare the meds we have for ya constantly getting sick with all them ticks." Carrie dropped her shorts and slid her top off, sitting in front of him with her back to him. "We find a place to rest, gon hunt and get some meat back on ya bones. Jesus." He examined her back before he pushed her hair off and glanced over her arms. "Damn ya got a few." Merle moved the lighter down over her arm, finding a few before he handed the lighter to her. "Hold it over ya arm." He pulled his swiss army knife out and began to work, squeezing them with his finger before he dug them out. She shrieked as he began to pull them out, stabbing and stomping on them in the process. Blood trickled down both of her arms as he cleared them. "Ya got a shit load girlie, now backs of ya legs, stand up."

"Don't try nothing." Carrie barked, face red as he ran his hands down over her legs. He smirked as she trembled immediately at his touch. "Merle!"

A booming laugh moved through his chest before he began to work on them, repeating the same procedure of having her hold the lighter as he pried them out. "I'm enjoyin mahself, I know ya sure are to."

"Just get the rat bastards off of me." As he pulled them out she continued to wince, hearing his boot stomp the ground for every one that had found it's way into her. A smack on her rear a signal to turn she crossed her arms with a small frown as he continued to smile. "Get the rest of them." What seemed like forever, she bite her lip as his hands moved over her, finding even more ticks on her, especially her shoulders and legs. When he had finally gotten the last one off from her legs he moved his hand up to the waistband of her underwear. "What are you doing?" She yelled, wondering if Daryl had been paying any attention.

"Checkin ya hips. Damn girl didn't think ya still wanted me." Carrie tucked her lips in, trying to compose herself as his hand moved under the waistband and around the back before he stood up. When he had pulled himself up off the ground he snaked his hand around her rib cage and near her chest. "Alright, ya good. Glad to be still in ya favor." He chuckled, letting her get dressed. Before she moved to the door he leaned over it, keeping her in the small bathroom. Carrie found herself frozen in his presence, almost broken to function in his stare. "Come ere." His metal arm held against the door as he picked her jaw up, nuzzling the side of her face before he smashed his mouth to hers for a quick kiss. Hands found their way up to his face, rubbing the stubble gently before she pulled herself back. The two stood silent, panting quietly before he reached behind him and opened the door to let her walk through.

Daryl glanced over at the two of them, a cocky smirk on his face. Carrie knew those two were definitely brothers, same eyes and that same damn smirk. It could make any girl melt, except Merle did it better, at least for her. "So, what are we doing?" She asked quietly, watching Daryl pull the map over to show both of them.

"Well we got a few possible choices." He mumbled, rubbing a hand over his neck. "We can go toward the coast, but we'd be movin' through cities. Ain't smart. We can hit the mountains and basically hide away. Could easily find an abandoned cabin, like what Uncle Jess had. Make that a home and defend it till we gotta move. Or...we can go back."

"We ain't goin to the prison!" Merle barked, pointing at him. "Them people don't like me, they tried to make ya choose 'tween me and them! That ain't what family does!" Daryl nodded, feeling Merle's hand hit his shoulder. "Ya know I'm the only one that care bout ya baby brother."

Daryl stopped, glancing over at the two standing next to him. Carrie was tucked tightly into Merle, arms crossed with an intent stare as Merle leaned over her. This...was something he could get used to. "I know." A hushed whisper escaped his throat before he pointed back to the map. "So...what we gonna do?"

* * *

**A/N: **JFC this was difficult to write oh my gard. I didn't include the Merle/Daryl moment when he ripped Daryl's shirt because I basically had that between the transition and that was something I did not feel like I should have written. That is a Daryl/Merle moment that an OC should NOT be thrust into with their comments and additives. There are a few moments in the series I do respect that should not be tampered with, and that's one of them. I did the bridge because it's simply killing freaking walkers and that is always fun. Damn Daryl is a pain in the ass to write...sorry girls I don't make him uber badass and a horndog like so many people do. I try to keep him as the somewhat polite and reserved guy I see him as.  
But anyways, yeah, Merle and Carrie are reunited! _Reunited and it feels so good! _

I wanted to incorporate a certain factor about their relationship, especially considering their age gap. It's the fact that he does have a power over her, that he can charm her and keep her almost under his thumb. Of course she does buck against him but he can slither his way right back to reeling her in.

I'm also at a cross roads with this story, and it's worrying me cause if I don't figure it out I'm not sure if I can keep writing it.

What I was planning on doing was sending them back to the prison, and I'm still thinking about it...but I also had a thought...

What if they didn't go back? It'd be Carrie, Merle, and Daryl in an A/U finding their way to basically retreating into the mountains and finding a place that they could call home. Maybe as a SEPERATE story, but I don't know if that would pick up as many people as this has.

But like I said, I'm not gonna do over 20 chapters, and we're starting to move into the final part of this story. I'm worried because I don't know if I'm gonna stick to 'This Sorrowful Life' or go completely A/U ugh...  
Let me know what YOU guys think! I would love ideas and opinions on what you guys think/predict/would like to see happen! You can either leave it in the review or PM me! Follow and favorite to!  
Today was Michael Rooker's 58th birthday...God how a man can be 58 and look that good is a damn SIN. I sin whenever I fangirl over him. Priests are gonna bust in my door soon with super soakers full of holy water!

Thank you for reading :)


	12. Hour of Honesty

Finally, quiet. Somewhere in this insane world, for some brief time, there was quiet. They had heard noise in the distance, mostly gunfire, and took off running when they had gotten closer to the noise. Daryl, after quickly whispering something to Merle, lead the three of them through the brush and woods and to find a large chain fence with a few walkers gathered together. One thing Carrie had learned about the younger brother was that he had one hell of an aim. He was certainly like his brother in the physical sense, built, moved quickly, a strong tracker, and knew how to intimidate. But there one thing that was different; he wasn't a complete douche bag.

When Daryl heard the gun shots he went running, and she followed along with Merle. They came across a large prison and Daryl had immediately moved into what seemed routine for him. The walkers had been killed off and the three stood with a man who looked two chicken nuggets short of a happy meal before a truck rolled down through the large field filled with the zombies. She climbed into the bed of it with the Dixons as the other man sat in the passenger's seat before they rolled through the other gate. It had slammed behind her and chained up by a boy, looking about thirteen, before he moved to the passenger door and hugged the man climbing out. The two were father and son, or at least brothers.

After all of that, she thought they'd at least be courteous, but she ended up gunned down by a woman with short brown hair immediately after Merle helped her off the truck. Escorted through the halls with Merle also at gun point, Daryl protesting the entire way until they emerged into an open room, most likely the center for convicts to sit together when it was actually a prison.  
Gray, that was all she saw. Gray walls, floors, furniture, stairs, everything was the same color. Even the bars on the windows were the same.

"Now listen..." The man spoke as the others moved into what was a cell block. The little boy closed the door behind him after an older man walked out on crutches. "You, we're gonna deal with you eventually." He hissed, pointing at Merle. The man glanced down to see Carrie sitting on the table, hands folded together. "But we don't know a damn thing bout you. DARYL!" The door opened again and Daryl made his way over to them, standing behind what seemed to be their leader with a cold expression written on his brow. "She came with you. You know her?"

"My name, is Carrie." She hissed, teeth grinding against her thumbnail. "I'm...probably nineteen. From up north, was down in Florida when shit hit the fan." Whoever the hell he was, he was certainly antsy. A hand raked through his hair as he paced back and forth before he faced her again. "What do you wanna know?"

"These two...they wouldn't take any person in unless they knew 'em well. How long you known Daryl and Merle?"

"Daryl..." She nodded over to him, getting a nod in return. "I just met him. You're lucky you got a guy like him here. Now this one..." Merle leaned back, a grin writhing over him as he chuckled. "Known you for a damn while now haven't I?"

"HOW." He hissed. "Were you...were you from Woodbury?"

She stopped, eyes wide. "Why you wanna know?" He stormed over her in an instant, Daryl immediately leaping over to push him back a little. "Yes I was!" She yelled, hands up. "I got kicked out when I figured out he was keeping walkers! He sent Merle after me with some backup to kill me!" Carrie cried out, and soon another woman joined the room. She was a stern looking African-American, hair long and braided she seemed very serious, a katana wrapped around her it seemed as she crossed her arms. "I killed the walkers off and they...they let me go but the bastard sent men after me to bring me back."

"Well, I ain't the only one then." A dark growl escaped the other woman as she glared at Merle, lips twitching in disgust. "You killed them off before, he had a whole new batch when I found them. Let me guess...he let you go." She nodded toward Merle, eyes blazing in anger.

"Yes, he did. Thank god." Carrie pulled her thumbnail away before she glanced back at their leader. "I know Merle because...uh."

"We was bumpin uglies officer friendly." Merle cooed, crossing his arms almost in triumph before she glanced back at the man who Merle was calling 'officer friendly."

"My name is Rick, Rick Grimes."

When she finally got his name she relaxed, at least she knew his actual name and wouldn't have to call him officer friendly. "Well Rick, what you gonna do with me? I'm not blood to Daryl, you gonna send me off?"

"If she ain't stayin, we gon have a problem." Merle hissed. Daryl reacted quickly, shaking his head. "What it is baby brother? Ol Merle knows these people don't like me, I don't give a shit." Carrie eyed him cautiously, picking up that something was off in his statement. "I know you and me ain't buddies offica, but ya could use a girl like her. One that knows how ta handle a gun and ain't afraid a killin a man."

What the hell was he trying to say? That she was like him? To Carrie, that's what it sure as hell sounded like. "Ya makin a mistake if ya send her off. The govena take her real quick and kill her."

"What the fuck Merle?" The way he was talking had her pissed off beyond comprehension, face red as her blood boiled. "It was the governor that attacked you guys right? Why are you still here?"

"The question is..." The old man moved over to them, standing over the duo sitting on the table. "Why haven't I looked at you two yet? We're going into something and we need everyone we can get. That's the truth. Come on." He glanced at Merle before the two walked off, leaving Rick and Michonne with Carrie as Daryl walked behind them and went to the cell block again.

Rick knelt, eyes searching for something to go from. She didn't look any different from the other survivors they had left. "How long were you at Woodbury for?"

"Quite a few months, since the spring." Carrie finally eased off of her harsh posture, eyes locked right into his. One thing she had kept up since before the world turned to shit was her ability to support eye contact. Sometimes it had broken those she spoke to, the fierce stare of another person weakening their psyche and dominance. "I had been on my own...for bout a year...Jackass found me, brought me to Woodbury, shacked up together and then I found the walkers...killed em and I asked to leave..turned out you don't leave Woodbury. Sent Merle and two of his better men to find me. Killed one, other had been bit. Went back to my routine, found Daryl and his brother making my way through and Daryl brought us back here." Carrie went on to explain all that had happened, leaving those standing over her a bit interested, but in this world it seemed like nothing except trying to kill each other shocked them any more.

"We're gonna be back in a bit. You stay in here till we figure out what we're doing." Rick stood up, pointing at the ground before he turned and walked, Michonne following before they closed the door, leaving her alone in the room.

Carrie finally pushed herself off the table and began to move about. She didn't want to venture up the steps to the doors but she had found herself fiddling around with the table and the shelves. Hands grasped the bars as she watched the others in the corner of the room. They had been discussing something that seemed important.

When Merle returned he sat down at the table before the old man titled his head, calling for her to follow. The two moved to a small caged space, most likely as a previous armory or locker area for patrol officers. She sat on the bench as he moved to sit down across from her. While she knew it was rude, and that there should still be some manners in the world, she couldn't help but stare at the amputation he head. He was missing a leg from the knee down basically. "How'd you lose that?" She whispered, hoping not to offend.

"I was bit." His response was simple, soft, and a breath of fresh air compared to the others' critical rationalizations. "So tell me, where's your family?"

"Waitin for me on the other side." Her answer was blunt, but honest. He glanced down at her, a solemn grimace on his face as he leaned back.

He extended his hand, waiting for her to extend hers. She had nothing against him, so what the hell. The two quickly shook hands before she brought it back to her lap. "My name is Hershel, what's yours young lady?"

"Carrie." When his stare remained she exhaled deeply. "Carrie Davidson." Hershel nodded, at least she had a last name. "Like the bikes." A smile cracked her lips before he did the same. "How long you been with...Rick and them."

Hershel still sat with her before he began the examination, checking her temperature. "Rick's boy, Carl, the one who watches the door, he had been shot by Otis. Otis was a nice man who was with us when this all happened. We hadn't even had any issues...but then we were overrun by walkers and had to escape. Rick saved me, and my daughters. I owe him the world...you got a fever or somethin-"

"Had gotten rid of a mess of ticks on me, Merle got them off of me. I took ibuprofen I had."

Hershel nodded before he sat back down. "What's your relationship...with Merle?"

His eyes narrowed to her, sending a chill down her spine. This was something she hadn't thought much of before, but when she had it left her drifting off into dark spaces in her mind. "He's my ally."

"There's no such things as allies in this world anymore dear. Allies were killed off in the first few months."

If that wasn't the truth...

She shrugged, face turning pink to try to describe her relationship with the elder Dixon brother. "I...I guess you can say he's um...I don't know."

"So he's not your lover?" The red that brightened her face left Hershel laughing. "That's what I thought. But Merle don't seem like the type to...keep someone." Smiling, Carrie could feel the corners of her lips almost freeze, thinking of him as that brought her back to Woodbury, and for at least a while, when she found order in the world. While she missed the thrill of being by herself then, now she missed the luxury she had found. Maybe Merle had been right...maybe the governor would have forgiven her.

_NO. You saw EXACTLY what he did to these people...he would have killed you._

"Merle, he's a strong man. I can tell."

"Strongest son of a bitch I've ever meet." Grinning she leaned against the wall, enjoying the solitude that she had with the older man. In all her time since this began she hadn't found herself in such a quiet moment. Even Woodbury didn't leave her at this much of an ease. "I don't know what I'd do without him..." The words escaped her mouth, finally admitting what she had been afraid to say for a long time. There was something about Hershel, something that relaxed you. He reminded her so much of her father, the posture, the way he spoke, very similar. "How long do I got here?"

Hershel folded his hands together, tilting his head to figure out how to put his words best. "If you leave, Merle will be up-"

"Don't. Merle will always put his brother first. He'd be pissed, but nothing that wouldn't wash off after a few days. I don't plan on being here for long anyways."

He nodded before resting a hand on her knee. "I'll patch you up, and if Rick does send you off, I'll make sure that you have a few things. But I don't think he'll do it, but you have to be ready to fight."

"Fight the governor? Yes please. He tried to kill me."

"The same for Michonne." The two sat in silence for a few more minutes before Hershel lead her back to the open area and through the cell block door.

* * *

Later on the two were allowed to be near the others, but Carrie's weapons had been taken, likewise with her bag. Shortly after that a woman by the name of Andrea had arrived and everyone was again up in arms. This time they had been even more volatile, she had apparently been with them before and separated. Carrie's stomach twisted as she discovered Andrea had been sleeping with governor. She was over by the charm as well.

Eventually she had left, and it had given Carrie the perfect opportunity to meet Judith, the baby that was born out of a woman by the name of Lori's sacrifice. She hadn't spoken to many of the others, but she did know their names as she listened in. There was Maggie, the woman who gunned her down, Glenn, her boyfriend. Apparently Merle had done something to them, and they held a bit of animosity against her as well. Then there was Michonne, the quiet one that had ran from Woodbury as well. She knew Rick and his son Carl, and of course Daryl. Carrie, intrigued, by Daryl's relationship with Carol. She was a beautiful, and somewhat reserved lady. She helped take care of baby Judith, helped ready ammo, and just ran around doing whatever work needed to be done. Lastly there was Beth, a young beautiful girl that had been the main caretaker of the little baby girl.  
Beth was so pretty, like the girls Carrie used to see at school that went to youth group. Blond hair in a braid and beautiful blue eyes. Her voice was soft and moved like a mouse. Carrie walked up the steps and stopped at the postal mail box, watching Beth pick up the baby. Her eyes moved over to Carrie as she stepped up and glanced at the child. "Sorry...she's really pretty." Beth gave a small smile, still rocking the child. She had been fussy now for a few minutes, the infant's face bright red as she flung her arms back and forth. "She ain't that old is she?"

"Not even a month." Beth whispered, easing her posture a bit.

Carrie's eyes widened, lips pursed as she leaned back. "So you speak?" Beth giggled, rolling her eyes at the blunt choice of words. "Is she hungry..." She didn't finish the question as she noticed the full bottle sitting on the table. Eyes averted to the writing on the box, words shocking her. "Lil...asskicker. Okay, that had to Daryl." Beth nodded, adjusting the wailing child in her arms. "Here, lemme see her." The young woman froze at her sudden approach. "I had a nephew and some baby cousins, I know how to hold a baby Beth."

Against her best judgment, Beth handed the baby over to her carefully, hands still locked on her as Judith moved into Carrie's arms. Her fusing and wailing continued and Carrie pushed her up so her head was resting on the woman's shoulder. "Follow me." She whispered, moving into a cell as she sat on the bed. Judith's hands remained clenched, her face still bright red. "How did momma did do this..." When she had picked up the baby and felt her stomach, she knew immediately what it was, and the baby had gone for almost an hour. Her mouth opened, remembering what her mother had done for her when she was little.

"Okay, now watch this. Make sure you remember how to do it." Carrie rested the baby's head down on her forearm and rubbed Judith's back. She began to bounce her knee lightly, letting the baby move a bit. A few minutes later, after the baby had continued crying, it had drawn in attention. Carol moved up the stairs and stood shocked, waving over Daryl and soon a few others had moved over to the cell, ready to pounce. "And...three...two...one." Out of the blue, the baby let out a large pass of gas, making Beth and Carrie cringe at the odor. "Knew it!" She quickly picked up the child, bouncing her again. Judith smiled, hands moving rapidly as she kicked about. "You little lady have colic! You're such a newborn so cute!" Beth stood in amazement as Carrie stood up, now facing the open cell door. The group watched in disbelief as she continued to bounce the baby. "What? Never seen a baby with colic before?"

Carol moved in and took the baby, stunned that Carrie was so brash, so quickly. "Sophia never had it."

"It doesn't affect every baby. Babies with colic usually are because the mother didn't eat right before giving birth. Her stomach is screwed up. In a few months it'll pass from her, but it'd be nice to find formula for her that is for colic babies. It affects newborns. I had it, my siblings had it, my mother didn't eat like she should have."

As Carol moved out of the room she was left with Beth and the Dixons, all suddenly hushed. "Well, shouldn't have done that I guess."

"Ya got lil asskicker to shut up. Ya'd be a good mother." Daryl chuckled, looking out to see Carol put the baby back into the box that they called her crib.

"Is my baby brother ogglin' over a lady?" Merle laughed, whispering to his brother as Daryl cursed him before he walked over to join Carol and the baby. "Swear, first time ever seen mah brother act like that bout a lady."

Beth nodded and pushed past him, Merle's eyes moving back to Carrie before he walked out of the cell and down to the one next to Daryl. It had been empty and at the end of the row. Carrie turned to see Carl standing there, his hat tipped back so he could see what had happened. "When we go on a run...can you remind us to get colic formula?"

"You'd have to search to find it, but yeah, I'll remind you." She stood quiet for a second before talking again. "Carl...can I ask you to do something for me?" Carl's glare shook her for a second, how a boy could have such an icy stare was beyond her. "Make sure..." She pushed a hand back through her hair before she finally mustered up what she needed to say. "Make sure you protect your family. I...I never got the chance to." Carrie walked out of the cell, leaving Carl to grip his dad's sheriff pin as she moved down the cells, finding Merle in his as he leaned back on the cot, arms up over his head for a second to relax.

Merle could sense someone moving to his cell, and he could hear a soft set of feet hit the ground. He wasn't stupid, and he hadn't had anyone sneak up on him in ages. Eyes opened he smirked at the sight of Carrie standing at the open cell, arms crossed and still a mess from earlier in the day and the night before. "Whattya want?" The whisper came off cold, leaving her to walk in with arms crossed.

"I wanted to um...I'm not gonna be staying." It was like bullets hitting him in the chest as he sat up, his smirk immediately gone. "I spoke to Hershel, he said I was gonna get looked at and Rick will have the final decision but I don't think I'm gonna stick around."

He ran his fingers over the stubble of his chin, elbow resting on his knee as he glared up at her. "So ya just gon' take off like that? Ya got a roof over ya head, meals, like lil' d said a pot to piss in and at least a quick shower." Carrie rubbed her arm, standing awkward as he pressed into her. "We brought ya here, ya gon leave me again? Oh I thought Officer Friendly was cold, you's an ice bitch."

"You found your brother, that's all I was concerned with." His eyes widened as she spoke up against his yelling. Nostrils flared he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to compose his mind as she went on, stepping closer to him. "A few months back...I told you that I wanted to help you find your brother. I never got the chance to find or do anything for my family. You've found your brother, you didn't even need me. I don't got no reason to be here anymore."

Finally Merle had grown tired of her talking and was ready to blow, anger seeping through him as he adjusted his posture. "I didn't ask you for nothin. I didn't need ya help at all, I didn't want ya help." He stood over her, his voice a whisper against her face. "The governor gon' be comin' soon. Ya know just well as me that him and that army gonna kill all these people. Gonna kill the farmer's daughters, gonna kill everyone. But before them, he's gonna kill me first." Carrie's eyes widened as his words seeped through her. She shook her head, thinking that it was just nerves deep down finally speaking up. "I know it, and you know it. Then he'll kill Michonne, then you. He'll get rid of the traitors first, he'll save you for the last of us so you can watch me die." Carrie remained frozen, not even able to look him in the eye as he continued to speak. "You know I'll do whatever I gotta do to protect my baby brother." His short words had cut off for once, he was dead serious. "And I'll make sure ya are protected to." The two stood silent for a second before he took a deep breath, speaking again. "I heard what ya said to the farmer." He tried to turn away but faced her again. "Ya say ya don't know what you'd do without me? Sweetie them words are poison. Specially in this world."

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be alive now..." While it was true, she couldn't find the passion to mean what she had said. Being 'alive' anymore was struggling, surviving without a just cause if family and friends weren't there with her. "And I don't need your protection." Carrie tried to grasp the words and believe them, but she knew she needed Merle. His smug expression left her quiet before she reached up to brush his arm, his body tensing as her hand gripped around his bicep. "You're brother needs you, these people need your brother, you need you brother. It's a simple equation." The way she was talking pissed him off more and more, an unsettling wave of nerves hitting his stomach as she moved her hand up on his shoulder. "I've been through a lot of groups, all thought they were strong and ready. Each and every one of them fell to anarchy and the biters. This group ain't no different Merle. Daryl won't leave, you won't leave Daryl. If you two wanna stay here and fight a fight that...that ain't even gonna go long, that's your choice. But it sure as hell ain't mine."

Merle reached up, yanking her hand off in a tight grip before he threw it down, still staring at her. Something in his eyes was between anger and hurt, she had pissed his off yet again, but this was a straw that broke the camel's back. Carrie stepped back and before he could speak a word, she took off down the cell block. The girl knew exactly what to do to piss him off, how to make him smile, and how to get under his skin.

* * *

The cell they had given Carrie was on the other cell block, and they had planned to move Merle down to that same cell block after Daryl spoke with him for the evening. She had been housed right next to the door that opened between the blocks for when they needed for something. Bag on her bed she adjusted in the cot, taking what she could get for relaxation. Depleted from what she had when she left Woodbury she still had a few of her most important items. In the bottom though was a folded up piece of paper. Reaching down she pulled it out, realizing it was a photograph. A few words scrawled out on the back she unfolded it she mumbled them aloud. "Carrie's 17th birthday..." then there was a small message under it, something her mother must have written before she put it in the frame that she had taken it out of before she left Florida, leaving the shattered glass and cheap wood behind. "Take your time...be young and able...remember who you are." When she turned the picture over she quickly pulled a hand over her mouth. It was the one family picture that she had been in after not going to family functions for years. She stood in the middle, her father with his walker next to her and her brothers behind her. On her other side was her mother and aunt, the two looking exactly the same and her nephew on her back as they all seemed to have laughed or yelling in the picture. Carrie could remember the teachers in her picture, no one else was there. No friends, shit, she didn't have friends anyways. A smile moved over her as she dropped her hand, giggling at the sight of her neighbor's granddaughter hugging her side. Finally, after such a long time, she remembered what her family looked like.  
Tears warmed her cheeks as she shut her eyes, still lying in bed she held the picture up and covered her eyes. Everyone was there, on the other side, and here she sat, with people she didn't know or care about, struggling for her life. This was a life she had never wanted, and it upset her to know that she had to go day by day like this. She could almost hear her brothers yelling at her for wanting to give up, to throw the fight away, but she was homesick. Carrie wanted to pick her nephew up and hug him, tell her mother and father how much she missed them, and spend her days on the other side bickering with her brothers about sleeping with a man older than her.  
"Can ya walk now daddy?" She whispered, hoping that maybe he finally could, with no wobbling, no falling, no tripping, and no crying. "I'm sorry I wasn't there...I should have been there. I shouldn't be here."

When she took a second to let the tears roll down her cheeks she froze, feeling something different in the atmosphere. Turning back her eyes widened at the sight of the older Dixon standing there, arms crossed against the wall, watching her. "That ya family I take it?" She moved to fold the picture up, but it was to no avail as Merle snatched it and glanced it over. "What's up with ya pa?"

"He was really sick." Stumbling over her words Carrie wiped her eyes. "Disorder where he couldn't walk right any more. Then he got on pain killers for about 15 years, then alcohol for two. Daddy was sick in all ways my whole life, but he always took care of me." Merle's eyes widened as she told him about her father. "He wasn't that good of a dad, but when I needed him he was there...then there was my momma, she worked all the time but wasn't really happy. She always enjoyed seeing me do shit. My brothers are behind me, craziest bunch of fuckers you'd ever meet, 'specially when they drank. The boy and girl who are with me are my neighbor's granddaughter and my little nephew. Little light of my life. On the far side is my aunt, awesome woman. Other people are my teachers from school." Merle nodded, examining the picture. She was a more thick girl in the shot, more curvy compared to what she was now. "My daddy always was scared I'd run off with a boy, always sheltered growing up. Was interesting growing up there. Never went out, was considered ugly and all that shit ya know? If you weren't a size 4 you were tossed out the window. Look at me now!" She chuckling at her own full circle return as Merle handed the picture back to her. Carrie folded it up and slid it into her bag again. "Ya know...I think my family would have liked you, besides the fact you're only a few years younger than what my daddy was. My brothers would've fought you tooth and nail, but you would've liked them to." A smile moved over the corners of her lips as Merle rested against the sink in the cell. "One of my brothers, James, was lookin' to get a motorcycle. Daryl has yours right? It's a nice one. I was looking for a truck myself. Damn, was so close to all that, then this happened." Arms thrown in the air she stood up, still watching him.

"So you gon' leave and head north, lookin for ya family? Ya even told me ya was about sure they were all dead. Or do ya got a death wish?"

"Both I guess." Carrie shrugged, feeling Merle stand over her as she spoke the words. "I got nothing left anyways. Going home sounds just about right."

Merle scowled at her, eyes bearing into her as she stopped. "You're a selfish bitch." He growled, pointing at her as she stepped back. "Ya don't wanna keep livin, ya don't wanna survive? Ya just left me in Woodbury, then ya left me in the woods, now ya gon leave me again for a death wish? What the hell was ya even doing stickin round Woodbury then?"

If there was any a time to say it, it was there. "Cause I liked being with you." She whispered, eyes staring down at the ground. "Like I told you, you found your brother, I ain't got no family. I got no reason to be here."

"So I ain't jack shit to you then?" That was a shocker to her as she finally glanced up, his mouth tucked in a solemn grimace, eyes wide as he leaned over, watching her with some sort of fire in his eyes. "After all we been through, I ain't jack shit?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Merle calm the hell down!" She didn't want to start another fight with him, she really didn't. Fingers crossed maybe Daryl would show up and diffuse the situation but that looked like it wasn't going to happen. "Of course you mean something to me!"

He couldn't help but laugh, a grin on his face before he dropped it to return to talking. "Sweetie, ya just don't seem to get it. If I didn't give a shit about you, if I didn't have concern over you, I wouldn't have done any of the shit I did for you! You dumb bitch, all the mother fucking shit I've done, FOR YOU! When I didn't know if I'd ever find mah brother, there was you!" Merle ran his hand over the hair that had found its way on his head again, still not used to it after he had shaved it for so long. His mind was reeling, trying to figure out what to say that would get through to her. When he moved to speak he felt her mold into him, arms wrapped around his waist as she pressed her forehead into his chest.

Merle lowered his arms, resting them against the sink as she pushed her weight on him, hearing his heartbeat pound quickly in anger before it began to settle.

Carrie couldn't find the right words to say, so she just kept quiet. For the first time in a while, she just wanted to keep her mouth shut. Merle stood grumbling before he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in even tighter. Chin resting on her head he took a deep breath, calming as she was still against his frame. After a few minutes she finally spoke up, her voice a quiet whisper against him when she finally mustered up something to say. "You're the only thing I got left Merle...I said it wrong. You heard what I said to the farmer right?" His head nodding she felt his chin thump her a few times. "I don't know what I'd do without you. As much as I need you, I know how much you love your brother. That's been my main concern, that you'd finally be happy and you could find him. Besides if the governor found me...at least I'd be able to go home."

Suddenly it all clicked. How she had been distancing herself, the cold demeanor, trying to leave. She wanted to give Merle what he wanted all along, him and his brother together. Carrie didn't see herself in that equation and wanted to make sure that if she left, those two were together. She'd be sending herself to death as soon as she stepped out of the prison, but if Daryl and him reunited that's all she cared about.

"Don't ever think." He whispered, squeezing her tighter than he ever had. "That you ain't a part of my life. Ain't no one ever cared bout me the way you have. Ain't no woman ever spent so much time with me like you have." Carrie closed her eyes, nails digging into his back as his embrace remained strong. "I want ya to stay. These people look at me...they look at me like I'm some sort of devil. I don't wanna be here, but my baby brotha does. I'll do what I gotta for him." She nodded, nuzzled against him as she brought her arms up and around his neck. "I'm gon look after you to. I'll make sure Daryl does to for when somethin happens to me."

She immediately pulled back, staring up at him in shock. "Merle, don't say that type of stuff."

"Girlie, I told ya earlier, the governor gon' kill me, I ain't afraid of it. Don't be worryin bout Ol' Merle, it's gonna be alright."  
Carrie could feel the corners of her eyes well up, realizing that what he said was the truth. When Woodbury and the prison collided, and if the governor got Merle alone and took him on in gang warfare, or if Merle would be injured, he'd be done for. "I'll just be sittin and waitin for my brother on the other side, if God'll lemme in. If I gotta I'll use the ol' Dixon charm and schmooze my way in."

The image of him bitching at an angel ran through her mind, letting a small laugh escape from her before she squeezed him tighter. The pain in her chest, whether from his tight embrace or her heart breaking, was immense. "Then can you find my family?" She whispered, looking him right in the eye. "If you do...I want you to wait there for me to." As the tears slid down over her cheeks she felt his other arm wrap tightly around her, his face buried in her hair. No one had ever said anything like that to him, no one had ever cared as much as Daryl did for him. Here was a girl who gave her all for him, and couldn't stand to be apart, and now she said this?  
The walls crumbled and for once, he could feel pain for someone else other than himself or his brother. He pushed a hand up through her hair, trying to withdraw from what he was feeling. As a Dixon this wasn't what he knew how to feel. Merle Dixon was no softie, he wasn't a pussy, but he could feel her peeling away at him over the time they spent in Woodbury. He could almost hear his father laughing at him, and that only made him squeeze her tighter. This was the greatest defiance against his dad, that he could feel, that he could find a woman who cared about him and wanted to spend her time with him. When his mother passed he felt himself disconnect emotionally from woman. All he needed from them was sex, and the occasional deal for a score. But now? Everything felt different, she had dedicated herself to him. She was his and no one could tell her any different.

Words had been lost on him for a bit, and the two stood in silence, something again he wasn't used to. Something about her, maybe that she spent more time on him emotionally, stopped him from running away. The words bubbled up in him, drawling over him as he found the strength to say them."I promise, I will."

By the time the evening darkened the prison the two had joined the others in their block for dinner. Merle stood off in the corner as everyone remained close. Beth's singing charmed Carrie as she walked over and sat down next to her. Carrie couldn't sing, and she'd be damned if she would even try without some whiskey, but she loved listening to her. After Beth had finished singing the two would still go on talking, their voices hushed whispers as Hershel, Daryl, and Rick were discussing something. Maggie watched her sister with the woman who was Merle's accomplice. A smile hit her lips as the two had started laughing about something. Glenn wrapped an arm around the woman and pulled her in.

For a moment, among all the wreckage and ruin, there was time to laugh.

* * *

**A/N: **Oy. Freaking. Vey. WHY DID THIS TAKE SO LONG? But yeah, they have joined the prison! A few people had said they wanted Daryl and Merle to go off with Carrie and do their own thing, and that's what I wanted at first, but I had spoken to one of my reviewers and I started thinking about it and they made a good point. Being there, especially now that Merle had Daryl, it would test their bond. Carrie basically saw herself as a burden now that Merle had his brother and I wanted to get really cerebral with this chapter.

AND yes, I had colic, my brothers had colic, I knew exactly what I was writing with that moment. Colic is a BITCH. It's funny because I was talking to another reviewer and the question I have for y'all is THIS:

If Carrie had been in Georgia and this all didn't happen, do you think her and Merle would have met? And do you think they'd be together?  
_Personally _I don't think so, I don't think she would have given him a second glance, but let me know what you guys think! Give me a scenario and I'll maybe post it in the author's note next time or make it into a bonus A/U chapter!  
I also wanted to give you guys a closer look at Carrie's life before the apocalypse. This would also be an important moment for their bond because of the fact that she's opening up a lot more.  
ALSO, I will NOT do anything Daryl/OC with this story, no way, no freaking how. I fully support Caryl and Richonne, I ship them and I hope I can include a bit of them in this story~ Wee!

Thank you y'all for reading and reviewing and following I love y'all bunches! Thanks for accepting this story as well, I try hard not to make Carrie to sue like and try not to make her immediately fit in with all that she crosses. I also try to keep the characters in their attitudes and lives.

So y'all know the routine, leave a review, follow and fave. Bye~ :)


	13. Cat's In The Cradle

**A/N: **Hey y'all! Been a few days since I posted something, sorry, just had things going on. Finished the third quarter and turning in work and all that shiz. Thank you for 50 reviews you guys! I am so appreciative of it and I love seeing how many people have come to love this story!

Gonna do something a lil different and respond to reviews in the Author's note, hope y'all don't mind!

_MelkS_ – One thing I have wanted to make sure of was that Carrie tries her damn best to understand Merle, and it is something that builds their relationship as the days go by! Thanks for the reviews!

_Blueberrybunny3630 –_ Aw I'm sorry for the tearing up, that wasn't intended! I'm happy Carrie doesn't come off to sue-ish, I don't want her to be someone that comes along and just changes Merle, that isn't something I want of their relationship. She has to accept him and the burdens that come with knowing him. I can't make any promises about killing people off, you'll just have to wait and see what happens!

_Brazen Hussy –_ Carrie isn't a girl that will just say...well you know! It has to be at a time when it means something!

_Lilone1776 –_ I love your reviews always, I love having these discussions with you about dissecting Carrie's character so much! I thought it was a good time for Merle to say that he acknowledges that he CARES about her, that he does see her as something in his life that means at least something. The fatalistic attitude I took from hearing him speak to Hershel about him being killed off, and because Carrie is so young he doesn't want her believing in a fantasy that he would be fine. He knew he was going to die when the governor would attack. But one thing is for sure, Carrie won't accept it, she only remained quiet because she knew that was what he wanted, her to acknowledge it.

_Hell's-FunnyHome –_ First off welcome to the story! Thanks for faving and following it I appreciate it! Thank you for reviewing as well! Well I think people don't follow or review it because it isn't their cup of tea or they just don't like it :p Merle doesn't have a lot of love, and I wanted to do something a little bit different so not everyone is gonna jump on board. BUT, I appreciate you reviewing and your compliments!

So thank you guys for your reviews, I love them all so much! We're approaching the end, I'm happy I can keep it below 20 chapters! This chapter will be the last one before the finale and will be based around what happens at the prison between basically 'clear' and 'arrow on the doorpost' and then we race to the final chapters! Thank you for reading! xo

* * *

Sitting at a table away from the others Carrie had rested her fork on the bowl of pasta Carol had given her for dinner. There seemed to be some underlying murmurs going around about their plans and that things were about to go down. When she was growing up, before she left public school, she could always feel when a fight would break out in the cafeteria. It was an unsettling tension that sometimes went for weeks, and when that shit exploded it went haywire. She didn't like where this was all going, but as she peered up from her bowl to see Merle staring at his brother she rested her thoughts.

_Carrie was there for Merle, Merle was there for Daryl, and Daryl was there for the group.  
_  
What a chain she had gotten herself into, she didn't want to do anything for anyone before she had ended up in Woodbury, and now she was fighting for a man? Carrie returned to nibbling on her meal before she saw another fork enter the bowl. Hitting the other fork with hers she frowned as the bowl slide away from her across the table. "Can I help you?" She whispered, chin resting into her hand as she glanced up, eyes moving to see Merle's shit eating grin freeze as he pulled the bowl in front of him. "I was still eating."

"Girl, ya best learn to eat quick, ya know I like to eat." She jerked the bowl her way again, stealing a bite before he snatched it back. "Sides, I got a meal for ya later on."

Carrie groaned, covering her face before she wrapped her hands around the bowl and snatched it to fit on her lap. "Shut up Merle, I'm eating. Don't make me puke." Merle couldn't help but laugh as he leaned over, still watching her as she ate. When he was about to move over next to her Daryl had walked over, eying the duo with a solemn glance.

"Come on Merle, gon go on night watch." Carrie immediately brought the bowl back up on to the table as Merle stood up. When the older Dixon moved to go up the steps to his cell for his shirt and rifle she watched Daryl lean over and nodded back up at him. "Thought ya might want a break, 'sides Rick don't want him on watch without me. Ya keep stringin him out he's gonna pounce ya."

"That makes sense, and thank you very much Daryl. I appreciate it..." A light pink blush moved over her cheeks, getting a light laugh out of the younger brother. "That, Daryl, is none of your business."

Daryl rested a hand against the table, crossbow slung over the sleeve of his jacket as his face moved into a smug rest. "I know it ain't." That was something she noticed both of the brothers had, and in the week she had been at the prison she had picked up on many similarities of them both. "When Merle comes bitchin to me bout how he's gotta take care of shit by 'imself, then it's bothering me."

He had been saying that? Well, it was certainly something new on her mind. Merle returned down the steps in his usual loud fashion before he sauntered over to the two. "Baby brotha, why ya talkin to her?"

The two rolled their eyes quickly as Merle continued to snicker in his own strange humor. It was something else she had noticed, Daryl wasn't nearly as sick in a humor sense...or humorous in general. He was much more reserved and hushed in his speaking...except when he was pissed. Then he was like his brother.

"Just shooting the shit Merle." Carrie winked, returning to her bowl she twisted it in the pasta and brought it up. Time to lure the serpent. Her eyes moved up to Merle's, lips parted lightly to taunt him as she raised the fork up. "You said you're hungry." She whispered, voice soft in taunting him. Never before had she seen him as flustered as he was then. Carrie glanced over quickly to see Daryl standing with a hand on his hip, another on his mouth as he chuckled at his brother's situation. "Here-"

Merle snatched the fork from her hand and took the bite that was in front of him. "Ya ain't gonna be embarrassing me in front of mah baby brotha sugar." He winked at her before he turned to face Daryl. "Alright, come on, guess I ain't gon be sleepin' good tonight." The two turned and walked off as she returned to her meal.

A few minutes passed before she saw Carol standing over her, more like leaning as she sat down with her back to the steel. "I wanted to apologize...for snatching Judith away when you helped her with her colic. It's just that I knew Lori since before the pregnancy and I feel like-"

"I understand, ain't nothing to stay mad about. I'm just happy y'all found colic based formula for her, hard come by in the end of the world I'd assume."

Carol nodded, rubbing a hand over her short trim hair, seemingly shaggy and untrimmed, she had to have been growing it out. "Right. One thing I wanted to ask is um..." She lowered her voice, glancing to the door way to see if Merle and Daryl were gone before she turned her attention back to Carrie. "How long have you known Merle for?"

"Quite a few months." She whispered, smiling. "I had been coming through the area and I stumbled on Woodbury and Merle and I ended up talking to him and well..." Shoulders shrugged she waved her fork in the air as she finished her bowl. "You can guess the rest. We've known each other for quite a bit now..."

Carol hunched over, still smiling as she rested her hands between her knees. "You know he ain't the best to pick out of the bunch right? You're such a young girl...seeing him with such a pretty young thing seems like a lake in a desert!"

The two rested in silence before they busted into laughter, attracting the attention of the others. Carol patted the younger woman's knee before she took the empty bowl from her and moved toward the kitchen.

* * *

After sitting a few minutes she retreated up the steps and down the hall to the cell block she had inhabited with Merle and fell back on to the cot. When the dark had finally moved in through the cell jail she took the lighter resting on the sink next to her and flicked it to find one of Merle's button down shirts. Slipping out of her clothes she slid the button shirt on and pulled the blanket over her, trying to find a medium in the hot and cold she tossed and turned about from.

It seemed like forever as she rested against in the cot, trying to find a way to get to sleep. Impossible it seemed as she continued to struggle to find some quiet peace in her mind. How the others could sleep she couldn't understand. How could they sleep? How could they find any time for breathing? A sick man and an army of men with no moral values were ready to strike at any opportunity. The blond woman, Andrea, had shown up a few times, stopping it to talk to Rick about speaking to the governor. Apparently they wanted to try to 'work something out', she knew it was bullshit. Carrie knew it, Merle knew it, and Michonne knew it. How Rick could feed into that woman's crap was beyond belief, she was sucked into the governor's world as well.

She continued to roll and squirm in the cot, the light moving through the bars giving off hints of the moon and stars. A shadow cast over the wall immediately snapped her to her senses. She turned to make out the silouette and realized who it was rather quickly.

"I want to talk to you." It was a harsh, quiet whisper. Michonne. Her hand wrapped around a bar of the cell as Carrie stood up. "Not here, outside. Out near the fence."

"Won't Merle and Daryl-"

"You're really concerned if your bed buddy would go to Rick?" She did have a point. "Get dressed, bring a blade." Michonne backed up, back turned to Carrie, pulling off a pair of shorts she slipped on a pair of jeans and buttoned a few of the lower buttons of his shirt, still leaving the top open as cold air hit her bare skin. Boots on her feet she snatched her pocket knife and slid out of the cell quietly. If anyone knew about stealth, it was Michonne.

She lead her easily to the keys and out to the outside. The two remained quiet as they caught the Dixon brothers sitting on the top of the guard tower. Michonne moved ahead, almost without considering them as a threat. Carrie stood up, arms out as Michonne waved her over. "Don't worry about them. If you have to, treat him nice tomorrow morning and he'll keep his and Daryl's mouths shut."

"You got a point..." Carrie snickered, getting a small smirk out of the woman in response. The two walked down along the fence line and began to stab the walkers that were clawing at them through the chain link. Finally they stopped at a mess of them as Michonne pulled her katana out of her sheath. Carrie pulled her small blade out and brought it to the skull of one of the biters in front of her as Michonne pushed hers through two walkers standing in front of her. "So what did you bring me out for?" The snarling of the creatures had began to diminish in numbers as they continued on in their work. "There has to be a reason for waking me up."

Silence pushed over them as they finished the group in front of them and began to walk again. "I'm not one to...concern myself with others' situations...but it's been perplexing me a little bit...about you and Merle." Michonne turned back and stopped, shoulders shrugged as she rested her thumbs in her pant pockets. "You're not a stupid girl. You figured the governor out and killed basically a dozen walkers and took off and survived. But you're with Merle...a man that tried to kill you. What he did to Glenn and Maggie...that man is evil-"

"He is NOT evil."

"He tried to kill me!"

"Merle was sent to kill me to." Carrie growled, fists clenched as she rested them on her hips. "The governor sent Merle to kill you. If he defied orders, Merle would have been executed." She stepped closer to Michonne, holding up a hand as she held her thumb and pointer fingers as close as she could get without them touching. "He came that close to killing me. He had the gun at my head. I tried to kill myself before he got the chance to do it."

Michonne watched carefully as she snapped her wrist down, and in the moonlight she could see Carrie's eyes dark in anger. "No one's hands are clean in this world anymore. We've all had to do what we would have never done before all this to get by. The governor is a sick fucking man. Merle's different without him."

"So you love him?" Carrie's nose twisted at the woman's chuckle. "You got a death wish don't you?" Michonne stepped closer to her, the two barely inches apart. "Carrie, you know as well as I do that when this all goes down, if that...that man gets his hands on any of us, Merle, myself, and you will be killed before anyone else. I know he's gonna do sick shit to me...but you. He's gonna make sure, if and possibly when he gets Merle, that you'll be there to see him die. Knowing that son of a bitch he'll let him turn to kill you and then he'll kill Daryl."

Carrie nodded, crossing her arms. "Merle said the same thing...I know it's something I need to keep in mind."

"You're opening yourself up to a world of hurt. You can't love in this world anymore. We fight for what we need, the rest is nothing."

"I had nothing when this started, I still don't got much. Whatever the hell happens, I got my family waiting for me on the other side. If I can be frank, I don't care for the people here. I'm here for MERLE, he is here for his brother, his brother is here for the people in the prison. By default that means I have to be here. You seem to care about these people..." Michonne remained silent as Carrie pressed on, feeling a weight lifting off of her as she poured out what her mind had been screaming at her. "I'm not afraid of dying. I haven't been for a bit."

"Neither am I. If I have to die, I'll be sure to take the governor down with me." In a strange way, it was a mutual understanding. They didn't need to go into much detail, or search for some way to ease the tension that was building in the air.

Footsteps quickly approached as a flashlight shined over them. Glancing over they remained frozen at the sight of the Dixon brothers, primed and ready to attack. Daryl lowered his crossbow, lips pushed under in a frown. Another trait that he shared with Merle, that same sour pout. It was just as annoying. "What the hell y'all doin' out here? Rick wouldn't be likin this.." He whispered as he rested a hand in his pocket. Merle moved the flashlight down to the ground where blood had been splattered and outside of the fence where bodies were left in a heap. "We gotta burn them." Daryl groaned, annoyed at the idea that there would be more to drive off and burn in a mess. "Dammit." His attention turned to the two ladies still standing there, glaring at them. "What are y'all starin at? Come on, time to get back."

Michonne followed as Carrie walked with Merle, hand holding the flashlight he shined it over her. "What ya think you're doin out here like that? Walker or one the governa's men could have snuck up and got ya."

"You're the sentry, you're supposed to scout for these things Merle."

A scoff escaped his throat in usual gruff fashion before they turned the corner and moved back to the open yard of the prison. "Ya gon get yaself killed. Can't be havin that." Daryl and Michonne had pushed on ahead before she stopped, a hand reaching up to his bicep to catch his attention. "What's the matter?"

Carrie pushed herself into him, her head resting on his chest as he remained frozen. "What's gonna happen? After this is over?"

That was another interesting question she had brought up to him, she had always gotten his gears going. His hand reached up to wrap around her as he turned the flashlight off. "Whattya mean?" He had a feeling of what she was going to say, but he wanted to hear it out of her mouth.

"With...well us. What are we going to do?" She glanced up, seeing only a shadow in the dark of the middle of the night.

An exasperated sigh pushed through his chest before he rested his chin on her head. "I already told ya what is gonna happe-"

"I don't wanna hear that!" Carrie yelled back, fed up with speaking. "Stop talking like that. I understand...that there's a strong possibility that what you're saying is right...but I just. I don't wanna hear it." Mouth twitching in a small smirk he took in the smell of her hair, trying to memorize as much as he could.

"Sweetheart, Michonne knows exactly what's gon' happen, I do, and you do to. I'm damn determined to make sure my baby brotha is gonna be fine. The govena' gonna come in here with guns blazin, and when he breaks through the wall, this place is done for if we don't take him out. We shoulda done it while officer friendly was meetin' with him, but chinaboy lost the balls he said he had." Carrie pressed her face into his shoulder, snickering at his rude remarks. "If my baby brotha is safe...if you're safe, that's all I care about."

"Then...can you just lie to me?" He froze, hand locked over her shoulder as he listened to words. "Tell me a story...a happy ending. I know there isn't happy ever afters here anymore...but they were possible before."

Merle couldn't help but laugh, she was easy to make happy. She was simple as hell really. "I ain't no storyteller sweetheart." Her silence was a trigger for him to start talking as they began to walk slowly. "Well, I'd like to head back home, back to the cabin, get my hog back...spend rest of mah days up there with Derle. Go ridin and huntin whenever I felt like it." Carrie chuckled at his idea, eyes flaring open as he slid his hand down over the waist band of her pants. "And you and me bumpin uglies every damn day sugar." His voice was hot on her neck, leaving a light kiss behind her ear. Leaning over her still he whispered, eyes shut as he waited for her to speak. "What bout you? Tell me a story princess."

Hand extended back she rubbed her thumb over his jaw, a smile curling over her mouth. "Hmm..." She paused, trying to figure out how her mind had raveled her own tale. "I'd like to get away to, find somewhere quiet, secluded, ain't no trouble no where. Enjoy each day, keep shit simple...drink, eat listen to Billy Joel and The Charlie Daniels Band all day...fuck all night." Her voice was hushed as she could see his eyes shut. Merle could almost picture the idea, living a life that his dad obviously never gave his ma. It was a beautiful picture in his head, a cabin in the mountains, Merle cleaning up his bike, Daryl bringing back a ten point to mount on the wall, and Carrie rubbing his neck just waiting for him for later in the evening. "How does that sound to you?"

"Sounds like heaven." Voice muffled in her hair he pressed a kiss against her temple before standing straight and pushing her ahead back to the cell block.  
Once again in her cell Carrie watched as the light faded off into the darkness, leaving an uneasy churning in her stomach. She could dream all she wanted of a life she wanted. If she could have her dream life, where everything was perfect, she'd had a nice rancher home out in the woods, near her family, her brother coming over all the time to work on trucks as she spent her time cooking, baking cakes and pastries as a profession. After a while at Woodbury she had fit Merle into that dream, working with her brother treating her nephew and little cousins as his own.

Resting against the cot she found herself drifting off into a blank state of mind, finally finding sleep in the tense night.

"_Only thing 'bout this truck I don't like is the transmission, ya got it for a good deal though." Carrie stood over her brother as he leaned in to the hood of the 96 chevy silverado she had picked up a few weeks before. Running a hand through his scruffy brown hair, built frame rested in exhaustion after riding back to the house from a busy day at work. "I still can't believe how cheap you got this squirt! Damn!" He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, band tattoos flexing against his bicep. "Proud of ya!" _

_Carrie chuckled as the two sat down on the steps of the porch, he having a beer and her with a fanta orange soda they watched his son fly over the dirt and hills with his four wheeler. "Don't see why he doesn't wear a helmet. He's reckless as hell I swear, just like his dad."_

"_Shut up." She shrieked as he jabbed her in the side with his elbow. In the distance he pointed toward two figures moving through the woods. "There they are. My buddy Derek got a nice paint idea for his bike that Merle might wanna see. I got a picture of it." He flipped open his phone and scrolled through the pictures to show her the design. It was still the black paint that was on it originally, and he still had his supremacist symbol, but around it was a gold and silver set of designs and thin strokes. "Derek designed it 'imself." _

_Carrie fixed the black bandana found and wrapped around her forehead like a headband. Hair pulled back it hung loosely over her shoulder, bangs on the side of her face and secured underneath the cloth. Merle and Daryl emerged out of the woods, stopping at the sight of her nephew gunning the engine of his four wheeler and flying over a hill, flipping in the air as a result. Carrie pounced off the ground and ran out to the clearing, yelling for the young boy. He finally pulled around and stopped as the brothers had made their way over. "What the hell was that?" She whispered, bent over as he shrugged, cheeks red in embarrassment._

_"Merle told me it was a cool trick and tried it out." Carrie glared up at the man as he raised his arms in the air. It had to have been a dream because he had both of his hands. One was bare and the other was decorated with a leather strap bracelet and a few string bracelets her little cousin had made for him and her to wear as a couple._

"_Ay boy!" He moved over and slapped his shoulder. "Didn't I tell ya not to tell the ol' broad? Now I ain't gonna be getting' none and ya ain't gon' have a new cousin!" _

_Lips open in shock she quickly smacked his arm. "Merle! Don't tell him stuff like that, he's too young for all that shit! And you're right, you're getting nothing." He frowned, giving a playful glare to her nephew before he glanced back at Daryl who was maneuvering the head of the buck for her brother to see. "That's one hell of a ten point. We gonna mount it?"_

_"Damn right!" He wrapped an arm around her waist, fiddling with a belt loop as the two walked ahead, her nephew cheering about the buck as he continued to pester Daryl about helping him skin it. She glanced back to see Daryl dragging it over to hoist up and gut as her brother joined him. "So we gonna be eatin good tonight. Where's mah thank you?"_

_Carrie turned to sit on the steps, glancing back up at him as he stood over her. Jeans and a sleeveless button down that had been open at the top, exposing his chest. His boots were covered in dirt as did his arms. Sitting down next to her he rested his chin on his hand, glancing her over. His attention was strange, and caused her to glance back at him. "What are you staring at?"_

_"I told ya it'd be a happy endin."_

_Arms pushed back she rested her head on his shoulder. "I know it's a dream..." She pulled his right hand over to her inner thigh. "When I wake up you'll only have one hand, and you won't smell this good considering you were out hunting all morning. And we're most likely gonna die." Merle pulled his hand up and ran it over her face and down her neck. "Can't I just stay in here? Enjoy it forever?" A low purr escaped her lips as his calloused thumb ran down behind her ear._

"_I'm sorry sweetheart. Wish it could last forever." She leaned in to his shoulder, resting her face a hair away from his as her eyes fluttered. "I love ya girlie." A quick kiss was pressed to her lips before he repeated it again to her._

"_I love you to...jackass." _

When she woke up she immediately did the only thing she could think to do as a young lady waking up from a perfect dream, she threw a fit. Hands hitting the cot repeatedly she sighed, annoyed that her world was stopped to come back to reality.

Propped up on the cot she pushed a hand back through her hair and squirmed, realizing she hadn't changed back out of the clothes she had came back in from.  
"Good mornin' sunshine." Carrie peaked up to see Merle standing at the cell entrance before she sprung up and jumped over to hug him. "What the hells wrong with ya?" It was somewhat uncomfortable to him, to have someone leap into his arms and hold on to him. She noticed this, something she had found common whenever she surprised him with a hug or a kiss, Merle would flinch or jump at her sudden actions.

"I'm just happy to see you." She whispered, kissing him quickly again. Chin resting on his shoulder she let him go to walk over to the cot and fall back on it. Waving her over he felt the air push out of him as she fell over him. "What? I'm not heavy!"

"Ya know how to throw ya weight 'round though." Smirk splashing over his lips he watched her rub her hand on his chest. "What the hell ya doin now?"

Carrie moved her head up, tilting it to kiss under his chin as she pushed against his chest. "Just trying to get you comfy. You need some rest."

Arms propped up behind him he couldn't help but laugh. "I ain't gonna be restin' if ya do shit like that."

Pushing up from his frame she stood up, stretching to finally wake up before she pulled her hands through her hair, trying to get rid of the knots that had formed. "I need to borrow Beth's brush. Damn I got some knots." Standing over him she slapped his chest lightly. "I'm gonna go help Carol and Beth make breakfast, least I can do." Leaning down she kissed him again lightly, taking opportunity she could to give him some form of affection.

"Ain't gonna get you out of cleaning up the walkers later on with Derle and Michonne."

"Damn." She joked, pushing her tongue against her cheek before she kissed him again.

Merle's brow furrowed, pondering her actions. "What's up with ya? Ya never did shit like this in Woodbury."

"Well..." She trailed off, pulling her hand away as she backed up to the cell door. "Things are different now, I suppose."

* * *

"This shit is NASTY." Carrie gagged, dragging out one of the last bodies from the truck to the pile they had made. Michonne couldn't help but laugh as the girl gagged and frowned. "Oh my god...couldn't we just burn them there, put a fire on each of them and let them burn or something?"

Daryl couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Easier to get em all togetha. Burn em all." He tossed her the lighter as the Michonne dragged and dropped the last body into the group. "Sides, y'all did this, I'm just watchin'."

Carrie mocked him, nose crinkled as he stuck her tongue out. "And you're just having a grand old time, ain't ya?"

"Damn right." The three watched for a few minutes as the bodies began to burn. Michonne turned and jumped into the truck, leaving the two alone. "Ain't none of my business, but my brother don't keep girls around, what makes you so special?"

"I don't know." It was the honest truth, at least to her. "Your brother...he's amazing. I'm here for him. I'll be with him until the very end." His face was cold, a glare piercing her as he examined her. "When this all happened, I was in Florida. I was looking for colleges. My brother, he wanted me to go to college so bad. He didn't have a lot of money, neither did my parents, but he paid for my SAT exam. I got a decent score on it and I went to Florida to start looking at colleges. Daryl, I never got to say goodbye to him. I never got to tell him how much I loved him, how important he was to me. I never got a chance to say that to anyone. My family in Florida ran and left me at our house." Daryl turned away briefly before he looked back down at her, adjusting his crossbow carefully over his shoulder. "When we were in Woodbury, that was all he cared about, that you were alright. He wanted to go looking for you so many times...never got to cause the governor always had him doing shit. You mean the world to that man. Be happy you still have your brother. I'd give anything to see mine one more time. Merle's the only good that has happened to me since this all started. I don't know much bout him from before all this besides that he cares a lot about you and that how you guys grew up...it wasn't right. But I can say I was in the same boat as you guys..." An awkward silence moved over them, Carrie's eye catching Michonne watching through the side mirror of the truck. "Merle means the world to me. I know I ain't someone ya know, but one thing I can tell you is I care a lot about your brother. I don't know what I'd do without him." She climbed up on to the bed of the truck as he passed her, nodding in acknowledgment of her feelings.

When they had gotten back into the prison the day carried on, the group discussing exactly what they were going to. Rick had disappeared with Hershel and Daryl a few times, concerning her. Evening approaching the group sat for dinner, talking more about what they were planning to do.

They had discussed leaving for quite a bit, trying to find somewhere else to go and maybe make it into the mountains or the coast. One thing that Carrie had brought up was the fact that the governor wouldn't rest until he knew where they were, or he'd ransack the prison and call in more walkers in the process. They lost the chance to run, and if they wanted to now they'd have to be very careful of it because she was sure, as were Merle and Michonne, that the governor had people watching them.

Dinner had finished, leaving everyone to retreat to their cells and go to sleep. Merle stripped down and felt himself easing into the cot as Carrie finally walked in. The two remained silent as she snatched the shirt he took off and slipped it on after she had gotten out of the clothes of the day. In the silence they she still hadn't gotten into the cot with him as she stood against the door.  
"Ya gon get cold babydoll." He whispered, waving his arm to call her over. Carrie turned, running a hand through her hair as she sat down against him. Hand brought up he ran it through her hair, now down just past her chest. "Girl let ya borrow her brush did she?" Carrie nodded, her neck craning as his rough fingers brushed lightly against her neck and scalp. "Feels soft." He mumbled, letting her climb over him and fall against his side. "Come 'ere." He growled, pulling her in to his frame as she found herself on top of him. "What ya thinkin bout with officer friendly and all them?"

"Don't know really.." She spoke up, biting her thumbnail as she glanced back out to the walk way. "They aren't taking this seriously enough, at least to me." A yawn escaped her mouth, allowing her mind to scatter before he switched the positions, sitting over top of her with a wicked smirk. "Merle I'm tired." It was true though this time. She was exhausted and with what was about to happen she couldn't get her mind off of the fact that they were about to go to war. "Come on..." She could feel his stubble rubbing against her neck and collar bone, a soft brush over her as he brought his mouth back up to kiss her jaw. "Dammit Dixon." She joked, cheeks bright red.

Glancing up she was shocked to see him staring directly at her. No funny smirk, no glare, he was just staring at her. His mind had been racing, thoughts flying about his brother, the prison, Woodbury...it was everything.

In the back of his mind he could hear his addiction screaming at him, trying to dull the pain he was feeling mentally and emotionally. Anything to ease the pain, something so that he wouldn't fly off the handle. The stress was too much, at least back in Woodbury he could make whiskey runs and he wouldn't be as upset as he was then. "Come on sugar, show Ol' Merle some love."

"Do you even got anything?" She whispered, trying to calm his resolve. Merle cursed, immediately falling away from her. "What is it? Merle..." She reached out to him, trying to rub his shoulder. When he turned away to face the wall opposite of him she dropped her hand. Something was wrong, and she knew well by now how to deal with it.  
Just let it be.

* * *

**A/N:** So there we go, the final chapter before we go home in this story! I'm so greatful for all the reviews and favs and follows, it's amazing! So, my question for y'all with this chapter is what would your happy ever after for this story be? If I gave YOU control for the final chapter (which will be involved with "This Sorrowful Life" and "Welcome to the Tombs" what would y'all say would happen to Carrie, or what would you change from the finale to bring it all together?

Lots of love! xo


	14. When It's Over

**A/N:** Here we go! Time for the end! Thank you everyone for reading this and I am so grateful for all love this has gotten! 'Together As One' comes from a BRILLIANT song by Cayne, I was going to be listening to 'Piano Man' by Billy Joel and their music video was the ad before the song and I just listened and I was speechless after listening to it. I HIGHLY suggest it, it fits Merle and Carrie perfectly. So now that I am writing this, I can gladly say FUCK YOU AMC. The ONE character people want to see develop even more than Milton and T-Dogg, and you just go and fuck it up. I'd have rather watch Merle and Daryl have a heart to heart or Daryl burying him...instead you feel the need to show me Andrea's nasty feet picking up fucking pliers and dropping them. Fuck y'all. I don't know how much I'm gonna like season 4, if they kill of Michonne and Carl I don't know how much longer I'm gonna last. Merle and Shane dying right before the season finales just leaves nails in the coffin for me.

I try so hard NOT to write Merle OOC, I don't want to make him soft and someone that 'surprises' Carrie with little kind things and whatnot. I try to keep it as straight and honest as I possibly can. Yes, Merle is a racist, loud mouthed, pill popping bastard. But Carrie is not gonna be the one to make him see the 'error of his ways', I've expressed it before and written it quite clearly that she excepts what he is. I don't want Merle to be some softie either, he remains pretty much the same throughout my story, and has only had a few heart to heart moments with her and that is in the recent chapters because they know the war is approaching. It's also an outlet from her to try to get him to go heart to heart to Daryl.  
Sorry, I just felt the need to say that after I had discussed it with a few people before about how 'happy' they are I have kept Merle mostly cold and the same he is in the show. I try my damn best.

_Brazen Hussy _- aw well I'm glad that you'd want them to have a happy ending!

_MelkS –_ Haha I guess you can say they do possess a lot of couple traits as they go on!

_ImMaethril –_ This review made my morning, it's such a gloomy day so it's a day to write! I'm happy people find my Merle so believable, it's hard to write him! Every wants them to have an A/U ending, I feel the need to appease but also a burning fire to be absolutely evil! I love that you have analyzed Carrie so much, and you hit the nail on the head. She really can't see herself staying with others without him, Merle is the only thing she really has left. Hope you enjoy the last few chapters!

_Lilone1776 _- I am so so so happy you liked that little fluffy part! I don't know about a sequel, I think I wouldn't be able to hold the same fire that this one had! I don't know if I can carry it A/U that far! But thank you so much for reading

_Tenderloins _- Hey Rookerholic ;) Thank you for reviewing! Love seeing your opinions added!

* * *

Carrie had gotten breakfast, and the tension couldn't have been any thicker. Hershel, Daryl, and Rick were still running off and talking about things in the quiet, and now Merle had been hushed and aggravated. She moved up the steps after Rick had left him alone for a little bit, shocked at the sight of mattress stuffing all over the floor and in the rooms.  
Boots kicked the stuffing and pushed it around as she found him ripping at another mattress in their cell block. Arms crossed she leaned against the wall, watching him mutter and cuss as he ran his forearm over his sweaty brow.  
His glare moved up to meet her before he found a need to laugh. "What are ya lookin at sweetcheeks?"

Lips pursed she pushed a hand into her pocket. "What the hell are YOU doing is what I wanna know."

"Lookin for a vacation." He whispered, finishing up another mattress he stood up. Something was off in him, and had been since the night before. Walking past her he groaned, realizing he had torn up all of the cots in their cell block. Turning back to her he brushed the back of his hand against her cheek. "How bout you and I take a lil vacation?"

Carrie held his hand against her face, feeling the rigid skin and bumps that had accumulated from over time. She may have seemed naive to him, but she knew exactly what was going on. "When I was little, growing up, for thirteen years my dad did hillbilly heroin, I know what you're doing Merle, I'm not stupid." Merle's lips remained in a frown, face taught as his tension pulsed over his forehead, the worry lines drawn over him. "He went into kidney failure, and that kicked him off of them. Then he moved on to other pain meds...and then alcohol. Went to the hospital I don't know how many times, was in rehab for two days...before I left he was still drinking but it wasn't too bad. He wasn't on pain medication anymore, and was doing things." He watched as she brought her other hand to his face, thumbs rubbing against the tops of his cheekbones. "May not be much, but to me you don't need that shit."

"Ya don't understand."

"Then let me." She whispered, a scowl moving over her. "For once, let me know what the fuck is going on Merle! Tell me how you feel, let me understand something about you other than what I can see! I WANT to listen!"

Merle shook his head, pulling his hand out of hers and down to his side. "Ain't gon have you listenin' to mah sob story."

"I want to-"

"But ya ain't!" He barked back, nostrils flared as he stepped back from her. "Ain't ya concern like that! Ya wanna know somethin bout me? Okay!" Hand against the wall he punched the cold solid material. "Fore all this happened I had me a stash, anything ya could have named, I had it. Lost my crystal to. What am I to ya? Another daddy? Ya had daddy issues sweetheart?" Glancing down he snickered into the crook of his arm. "Ya wanna call me daddy when we fuck don't ya?"

It was disgusting. What he was saying shook her to her core, turning her stomach as tears stung her eyes. Carrie's jaw had dropped, eyes wide in disbelief as he continued to laugh. When she tried to speak he just continued to laugh. In a quick step she stood before him and did the one thing she knew she'd do eventually. Hand brought up she flung it across his face, the smack vibrating through the open space as she brought her hand back quickly.

For whatever reason, the sting more than the slaps he had gotten from women before. Something was deep about it, and it pissed him off. Nothing had pissed him off like that had in such a long time. Steaming he towered over her, jaw gnashing together as he tried to restrain himself from just blowing up and raising hell around them.  
"My father loved me very much. Yes he made mistakes, no he didn't change for his kids. One thing he always reminded me was that I could never be like him. He made sure that he was a prime example for how not to live for me. You...you do whatever the hell you want. When you want to talk to me, come see me. I'm not telling you to drop your shit, but you need to organize ya mind. I knew functioning pill poppers and smokers...I don't care what you do anymore." She hissed before turning and walking down the steps. Carrie continued to walk ahead until she got near the door to the yard. She stopped at hearing murmuring, hushed talking and some arguing.

Crouched down she leaned to the chain fence and reminded herself to keep her mouth shut. It was then when she heard everything. Merle hadn't told her this either, and it was just a reminder of how much he kept from her. They had the gall, the audacity to plan to trade Michonne to the governor. Was Rick THAT stupid to believe the man would back off? Shooting in the dark, no, in the pitch black cause in the dark you could still see what was in front of you. Apparently Merle was going to be capturing her and then they'd be on their way.  
In the back of her mind she couldn't help but feel the need to grab a bowl of popcorn and some soda. This was really like some bad matinee movie unfolding before her. Even the fact that Merle was going along with this had her mind spinning. Where was his plan? Where was the intelligence? How in the bloody hell did they find the ignorance to believe all this wash?

Returning into the cell block she had brought a bag with ammo and some empty guns. She didn't dislike Carol, but she wanted some time alone to think, and Carol had handed this off to her herself. The cell was empty and gave her a sense of panic, what if they were already on their way for Michonne. Daryl was gone to and Rick was outside doing god knew what.  
Dumping the guns on the bed she held the bag between her legs, pulling out boxes of ammunition in an organized fashion. Eying them carefully she couldn't help to move them, rearranging them by size. Loading a few handguns she placed the two she had spent a few minutes on next to her on the pillow when she heard loud pounding on the steel steps.

Up emerged Merle who jogged up the steps and stopped at the entrance of the cell. The two rested in an uncomfortable silence before she returned to filling the ammo into the guns. Sauntering over he pulled a shirt off the top cot and pulled it on. Turning to face her he leaned against the wall, arm propped up against the solid block. "Ya expectin an apology or somethin?"

"Hell no." She hissed. Setting another handgun to the pillow. "Ain't no reason to apologize. You're just doing what you do. All I can do is hope and pray you can still fuck good when you're high. I ain't gonna be doing runs for you either. Didn't do them for my dad, no way I'm doing them for you."

Resting his head against the wall he couldn't help but laugh as he slid his arm down, relaxing his shoulders to study her. "That sure as hell wasn't what I was expectin."

"Was I ever really?" He had to admit, she had a point.

"So, what ya sayin is ya don't give a shit what I do?" Carrie shrugged, putting a few guns in the back before she went to work on another one. "Damn...where the fuck were ya all my life?"

She stopped, hands on her knees as she licked her lips, thinking about it for a brief moment. When the idea came to her she glanced up at him, the man obviously waiting for her answer. "A twinkle in my dad's eye and a broken condom a few years later. Living the American dream still."  
Howling at her response he couldn't help it, that was pretty original. "That's what my dad used to tell me. I was a twinkle in his eye, always wanting a baby girl. Then my parents fucked shit up and my mom stood in the rain to be picked up when she found out she was gonna have me. A la the American dream."

Merle leaned closer to her, still keeping his distance. "Ya can't stay pissed at me for long can ya?"

"Ain't no reason to. I take what I can get." If there was anything he could say about her, she entertained him. Silence crept over them again, he was obviously thinking about what was about to go down between them and the governor. After she finished another gun she rested her hands on the cot, gripping them. "Is it bad...that we're not scared?" His head tilted to her strange question, pulling at him down in his stomach. "All these others...they're so scared, even Rick, Glenn, all of them...I even think Daryl is. Michonne...I think she is to."

It was an elephant in the room, something they both had observed, but didn't speak of. "Course they're scared. They all rely on each other. Why ain't you scared?"

"Cause you ain't."

Goosebumps rose on his skin, for once he could feel the ice tone of her seep through him and to his core. She couldn't comprehend what he was about to do, and soon he wasn't sure where she'd be turning. The weight resting on him was still unsettling. "Why is that?"

"I just ain't." She whispered, finishing the last gun she had on her lap. Dropping them into the black bag with the box of ammo she brought it over her shoulder as she stood up. Standing in front of him she pressed a kiss to his cheek before turning and walking out to go down the steps to the group.

* * *

Sitting at a table in the main room near Beth, Maggie, and Hershel she fiddled with her gun as Rick came barging in and whispering something to Hershel. The two then quickly walked off discussing something.  
In the back of Carrie's mind she knew something was wrong, something was going on. Beth caught on as she stepped off the bench of the table she shared with her sister and moved to sit across from the young woman. She didn't say much, but her company was appreciated. When the baby began to cry Beth was off in a flash. "Damn she'd be a good mother." Carrie whispered, shrugging at the realization that basically she was Judith's mother. The only reason she thought not was because of Carl's dark hair and dark eyes. She didn't want to ask Carl, she already could tell that something had happened, and with how new born the child was, it didn't take long to piece the puzzle together.

Alone for a little bit she watched as Glenn took Maggie off somewhere quiet, probably to the guard tower like usual. It had been a bit of time when she noticed Daryl had been gone to and Rick had walked back in with Hershel, his eyes alert and body tense.  
That moment allowed her to connect the thought together, Michonne was gone, and so was Merle. Standing up she paced up to the cell she shared with Merle, finding it empty and his gun gone. Fear hitting her she paced back and forth, trying to find some sense of direction to lead her. She hadn't felt emotion driving her like this in a long time, and the thought made her feel sick.

Peeking down the cell block she saw that no one was up on the level and everyone was apparently moving about except Carl, who was now staring at her from the other end of the block wing. Sneaking down the line she waved the young boy over to Daryl's cell as she moved in to the room and began to search around.

"What are you doing?" Carl asked, highly confused. She finally grabbed one of his jackets and heard something jingling. "That's his motorcycle keys."

"They're Merle's actually." She snickered quickly. Turning to face him she pulled him out of the room and down to his. Crouching down she looked him directly in the eye. "I need you to do a huge favor for me." His eyes narrowed at her, quickly protesting. "Okay, listen. You know how I told you before that you need to protect your family...and how I never got the chance to, right?"

"Yeah I know." Something in him had clicked with the young woman, and had empowered him to keep a watchful eye over his baby sister, especially since she had confessed she never got to say goodbye to her family. Besides Merle and Daryl, and Michonne by listening in, he was the only person of them all she had told about that.

Carrie gave a weak smile, hand gripping his shoulder. "Right now, I have the chance to do that. I need you to help me get to Merle's motorcycle and when I take it down to the gate you open it and close it as soon as I get out. Got it?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm going after family."

Carl nodded, picking up on what she was telling him. He didn't need to ask, he didn't want to. It was her business, and he respected that, just as she respected his. "My nephew and you are so much alike. He was about your age, maybe a year or two younger...but he was a hell raiser just like you." Carl couldn't help but smile as she patted his shoulder. "I need you to wait here, I'm gonna get myself a handgun and I'll meet you towards the tombs alright?" He nodded again, allowing a smile to move over her face.

The two quickly moved through the tombs, finding hardly any walkers in their way considering they had recently done a run through of the place before they emerged out and to the cars. Carrie climbed over on to the motorcycle and sat on it for a few seconds. She hadn't been on one for years, when her uncle used to take her for rides out on the back roads. Adjusting her ass she began to walk it down toward the gate as Carl ran ahead of her to open it. "Make sure you come back." Carl whispered, giving her a nod. Starting the engine she cursed as it took a few seconds to really get going before she sped down the dirt road and onto the main way. Carl immediately closed the gate behind her, locking it. For the first time in a while he held his hopes out that another family wouldn't be ruined because of this world. He had lost his mom, and his family was broken, but there was so much to do, and so much to repair.

* * *

Hair flying over her face she had quickly adjusted herself to sit up closer on the seat. Never before had she gone this fast down the road. Carrie knew exactly where he was heading with Michonne. Driving down the road she flew past abandoned cars and trees peaking in that summer. Heart pounding in her throat she continued to curse him as she forced her focus to remain on the road in front of her. Swerving through a few walkers that had followed her she accelerated down the way, trying to get a grip on her senses. In her sight came Michonne, whose eyes had widened as she slowed down in front of her.  
"Where the hell is Merle? Where did he go?" Carrie barked.

"He let me go." Michonne whispered, "Daryl is going after him to. You know...he'll be dead by the time you get there."

"The fuck if I'll let that happen." Carrie growled, gunning the motorcycle down the road again, leaving Michonne standing to watch her fade into the distance. She couldn't help but smile as she disappeared over the road and down the small hill, sound of the roaring bike still in her hearing.

Daryl had continued down through the field and finally to the road, mind lost in a blur of thoughts. He had always thought of his brother as someone who did without thinking. Now he was going straight into a death sentence and he'd be sure to try and stop that. Earlier in the day he said he wanted his brother back, and he could see it in Merle's eyes, he felt the same. Even before he met up with Rick and the group in Atlanta, he had been on the hunt for his brother, and that's all he cared about. Of course his brother had to do something stupid like this again.

Picking up his speed he had started a light jog running down the hill and to the road. Far reaching in his mind he had the fear of finding his brother dead, and it scared him. He couldn't lose him, there was no way that was possible. After all they had been through, after getting out of Woodbury together, and Merle excepting something in his life by joining the prison, there was no way he could just go off and leave him alone again.

His pace still steady he was uneasy as the sound of something approaching behind him. Turning to face the sound he raised his crossbow. When the sight came into view he frowned, a dark scowl covering his face as Carrie stopped the bike. "What the hell are ya doin with my bike?"

"It's your brother's!" Carrie groaned, repeating herself like she had with Carl. "I ain't arguing about this right now Daryl! Come on! Get on!"

"What are you doing?" Daryl growled, his throat tightening at her brash actions. "Does Rick and the others know you're out here?" She shook her head, leaving him divided between taking her back and being relieved that she did something smart. "Move back. I'm gonna drive dammit. Ain't no chick gon be drivin with me sittin' in the bitch's seat."

Carrie groaned, recognizing that he was more like his brother than he liked to admit. Scooting back she rested her feet up and wrapped an arm around his midsection before she pulled her handgun out. "If we're going in I got a pretty good aim when moving."

"It loaded?" Carrie nodded, cuing him to take off on the bike down the road as he took what he believed was his rightful spot on the bike. Her hair flying around him he remained focused on the highway. "They gonna be at the mill right?"

"Yup!" The two yelled at each other for responses, hearing a faint sound in the distance over the bike. "It's Iron Maiden!" Carrie yelled, shocked at the sound as the saw walkers approaching it. Turning they found their way on to the grounds and in the distance saw a car open, blaring music, and bodies strung around the ground as two people remained standing.

Gunshots rang through the air as Martinez and Shumpert ducked and glanced over to the window as the Governor froze, gun raised and ready to fire. The roar of another vehicle stopped him cold as a few walkers followed. Martinez and Shumpert backed up as the vehicle came into the Governor's vision. He quickly stormed over to Merle, pulling his face to the window. "Lookie, it's your brother and your bed bug! How sweet, came here to die with you." Bringing his face down next to his he grit his teeth. "How precious!"

"CARRIE HAS A GUN!" Martinez yelled, ducking behind the car door as Carrie and Daryl road up next to the parked car and immediately moved toward the building. Daryl ran up to the door as Carrie turned to face the window. Standing across from the governor she raised the handgun. Daryl observed the area, walkers' bodies lying about before Martinez moved to shut the radio off. The two Woodbury men who had known Carrie remained in shock, they were told she was dead, that Merle had killed her.

The governor pulled Merle up as Daryl kicked the door in, holding his hand gun to his head. "Aw, ain't this cute? I had a feeling you were alive. Merle always had a soft spot for you. Didn't ya?" He barked, blood dripping from his lips as the two remained breathing heavy. "Do anything and I'll blow his brains out."

Bringing her other hand up to the handgun she stood in a stance Merle had taught her, the gun raised right at the Governor's head. "Let him go and we'll let ya walk." Daryl hissed, hoping that he would just so he could shoot him right in the head. Looking down he gritted his teeth, seeing his left hand dripping blood, two fingers missing. "You sick fucker!" He screamed, raising the crossbow.

Carrie could feel her head pounding, hands shaking as the glass window divided them. "You gonna chance Merle? For a shot? Come on girl we all know ya ain't nothing more than a love sick puppy for a man that don't give a fuck about you! I'll shoot you point blank. Then I'll shoot ya brother Merle, then when they turn, I'll make sure to shoot ya legs so you can watch them kill ya. How that sound? Good right?"

Daryl adjusted his standing, eyes wide and heartbeat in his throat and fingers as he remained set over the trigger.

She wasn't sure what to do. She could take her chance to try and save Merle...but what would he think? Was that what he wanted? If she tried to save him what if he shot her or Daryl, that would leave Merle with only one or neither, and what if the Governor killed him to after?

For once she could think clearly in the brief second she found understanding and instead of pointing it toward the governor's side she pointed it at his head. His eyes widened, shaking his head as he lifted the gun from Merle's head and pointed it at her. A strange silence crept over them as Martinez and Shumpert watched each other, eyes in shock before they turned back to the scene. This was far from what they had expected. Merle told everyone that she was dead, that as much as she struggled, he killed her. He even drank the whole night after...but now it made sense, he let her run and caught up to her.

Standing toe to toe Carrie eyed the governor over, the first time she had seen him since she ran from Woodbury. He looked worn and tired, lines creasing his face. The biggest change she noticed was that he had an eye patch, something had happened to his eye and she didn't know exactly what, but he was a sight to see.  
"I knew you didn't kill her, you went soft-"

"SHUT UP!" Carrie screamed, stopping him from saying what she knew was a lie. In a split second the Governor and Carrie pulled their triggers, two booms piercing the air as Daryl went to launch his crossbow when the glass shattered around them. The second the glass broke Daryl and Merle watched as the Governor moved his shoulder, the bullet having to have graze him as he dropped Merle and ran off to the back of the building.

They turned, thinking to see Carrie standing with her gun, but saw nothing. "Oh shit!" it wasn't either of them yelling, it was Martinez. Daryl reached down and pulled Merle up by the side as they staggered out, shocked at the sight. Martinez knelt down next to her, holding her head up as the blood ran over his hands. "Fuck, come on Carrie, come on girl." He turned to see the brothers standing over him as the Governor yelled for him. Against his judgment he had opened up the possibility for them to capture him, or even worse, kill him. Shumpert nodded to run as he took off. Although she had killed the walkers, he felt bad for the girl. She was just a kid, and here she was, bleeding out because of these idiot mens' choices. It wasn't right, this wasn't a world his kids, or any kids should have been in. Letting go of her head he rested her on the ground. "You're gonna be okay." He whispered, turning and sprinting away with Shumpert.

Merle fell down over her, holding her in the crook of his arm. "Is there a fucking bullet hole?" He hollered, his mind racing a mile a minute. "DERLE! Look at her!" Daryl crouched down across from him, examining where the blood was running out from.

"I can't tell..." He whispered, glancing up to see his brother's eyes wide in shock, mouth agape. His breathing was ragged, heart pounding and chest heaving at a rapid rate. "I don't think it's a bullet hole." Resting his head against her chest he gave a small sigh of relief as he could hear her heart beat. "She still has a strong heartbeat." He murmured, holding her up. "Shit how we gonna get her back? Is the car still working?"

"I'll drive her back." Merle whispered, watching her as Daryl lifted her to sit up off the ground.

Daryl glared at him. "Ya stupid son of a bitch you losin' blood and fast!"

"I stumbled in withdrawal and a bloody stump Derle.." Holding up his left hand he shook his head. "This ain't shit to me." Sliding his shirt off he held it against her head. Daryl picking her up he walked her over as Merle climbed into the car and opened the side passenger door. Merle watched as his baby brother sat her in the passenger's seat and turned her head to face him, shirt pressed against the head piece of the seat. Door slammed shut Daryl ran over to the motorcycle and hopped on, immediately starting it as Merle went again to fiddle with the car, grateful their standoff didn't last for an hour. It felt like an eternity though when he glanced over at Carrie's body hunched over, steady breathing and eyes sunk shut. Getting the car started again he immediately turned down the radio. Grabbing the bottle of whiskey sitting between them he took a large sip before he eyed the wound seeping through his shirt slowly. Reaching over he struggled with only three fingers as he poured the rest of the bottle between the cloth and her wound. She didn't even respond as the alcohol hit the open wound, leaving him worried. Daryl pushing forward and around he took off, Merle following suit in the car as they sped down the road.  
"Stupid fucking bitch. You're a stupid bitch!" He screamed, staring straight ahead to follow his brother. "Ya couldn't leave well enough alone! God dammit!"

"_Why ain't you scared?"_

"Cause you ain't."

He struggled holding the steering wheel a few times, struggling with his drunk state, crushing reality, and losing half of his other hand. "I fucking hate you!" Merle barked, hitting his hand against the steering wheel. "Fuckin' ridiculous! Can't do nothin'...goddammit. Ya better stay the fuck alive, no bleedin out, don't pussy out Carrie. Stay the fuck alive so I can kick ya ass!" Lost was the weakest word to describe how he felt. His entire life flashed before his eyes, he wasn't going to beg for his life to a man he used to consider a close ally. He didn't beg God when he sat before him chained to the rooftop in Atlanta, and he sure wasn't going to at that moment. Then Carrie and Daryl come busting in for him and she gets herself shot?

"Stupid bitch...don't fuckin' die on me." His apparatus sat on his thigh, wishing he had his hand to reach out to her. Merle continued to glance over at her, feeling woozy and light headed as they pushed on down the littered road. They had to get back to the prison, then he could pass out. She was the one who was shot in the head, and he was her main concern. "Y'all shouldn't have come after me god dammit." Words finally began to fall out his mouth, emotions boiling up as he looked on at his brother ahead of him. "Y'all should have kept ya nose out of my business. Baby brotha never could...always wantin to go with me everywhere when I'd be headin out. I took him so our pa couldn't hurt him...but he always did, ya saw the scars on his back." He couldn't help but chuckle, trying to hold down the lump in his throat. "'Fore I left today he said he wants his brotha back. I ain't been there for him. Sure as hell aint' getting no award for best brotha. These people at the prison, they look at me like I'm the governa. They look at me like I'm...like I'm the devil. Derle's the only person to ever see me like a human being." Looking at her he squinted his eyes, trying to fight back the struggle battling in his mind. "You're the first woman to ever see me anythin' but a monster...you're just a fuckin' kid." Well, that wasn't true, she fought like a woman, thought like a woman...she was as much a woman as the farmer's daughter and Carol. "Ya can't fuckin' die on me! No! No!" Smacking his hand on the steering wheel again he couldn't stand to look at her for the rest of the ride. His faith had been shaken to the core many times, and right now he could feel that pressure sinking down over him again.

* * *

Prison in sight Daryl picked up the speed, yelling as the group ran to the gate and yanked it open. Merle following he pulled up to the grounds and with the car still running threw her door open and climbed out. Daryl ran back, everyone in complete shock as they pulled Carrie out of the seat.  
"What the hell happened?" Rick asked, eyes wide in shock as she remained limp in their grasp. Carl running out he stopped at the steps, body numb at the sight of Carrie. Her head was tilted back, eyes shut and mouth parted as blood ran down the left side of her face. Knees together her arms were loose like noodles in the brothers' grasps. Glancing back Rick frowned at the sight of Carl witnessing something like this again. "Carl! Get Hershel! Now!" Beth and Maggie followed behind the young boy, sprinting up the steps and through the door.

Carrying her closer Carol covered her mouth, horrified at the sight. "Merle! Your hand!"

Merle glanced down at his left hand. "Ain't nothing the farmer can't handle. Help us get her inside! Come on sweetheart, we got ya."

Glaring at his brother he pulled Carrie away from him and scooped her up. "Let Beth and Carol help you with her hand. Rick, help me get her in."

"No way man-"

"MERLE! SHUT UP!" In shock he watched as Daryl carried her up the steps, Rick spotting him from behind as noise took over the building.

Carol quickly brought his hand up and rushed him inside. "Come on we need to stop the bleeding and clean this. Quick. You're losing blood."

He couldn't help but laugh, a mocking tone of their sudden caring of his well being. Just minutes before he had told Carrie what he told Daryl, and he still held strong to those words. Being brought into the cell block he saw the mob of the group standing at a cell a few feet away. Beth ran in to the one he was occupying as Carol began to work on cleaning the wound and with gauze began to apply pressure. Hershel stopping at the cell Merle sat in he leaned down, examining the wound.  
"Governa bit mah fingers off. Ain't that the shit?" He replied, a gravelly tone escaping him. "Ain't nothing some bandaging can't fix. Go help that girl dammit, stop wasting time in here with me!" The old man nodded, turning with his crutches and pushed down to the cell block Carrie was in.

The shirt that had been compressed on her head was now covered in blood and Daryl had pushed gauze against her now, hoping it would slow down. "It's slowed down a lil since she took the shot...is it a wound or what?"

Hershel sitting down he pulled the gauze off and took a flashlight, pulling her bloody naped hair up and examining what was in front of him. It was a long scrape from the top of her left cheek bone to the back of her ear. "The bullet grazed her." He whispered, allowing a sigh of relief from the group. "She's lucky, had to have been something that caused this to miss, he was aiming to kill...We need to clean it up, keep pressure on it, make sure to watch the clotting, and then I'll stitch it up. Daryl, Maggie, keep applying pressure. Carl, go and get the black bag, it's in the armory where I keep it." Carl shot off down the way and to the armory, leaving Rick with Hershel as Judith continued to cry. "Rick, go look after your daughter. We can handle this. These two don't have fatal wounds, they're very lucky." As Rick disappeared he glanced back down to the two sitting with Carrie. "Daryl, you're blood type is O correct?" Daryl nodded, watching him carefully. "Will you be willing to do a transfusion for this girl? She's lost too much blood for her body to recover." He nodded again, holding the gauze against her head. "I'll check on her again in a little bit."

He turned again to find Merle still in the cell seconds away, Carol wrapping the gauze around his hand as he sat, eyes lost in a dark haze of confusion. Glancing up he urged Carol to hurry up and stood up as Hershel stepped toward him. "Merle, you need to sit down, you've lost blood, not as much as Carrie but you still might need a transfusion or something to eat. You're brother is gonna have to give Carrie blood. I'll work with you after we stabilize her. Can you tell me what happened?"

"Derle and her came stormin in, governa and her had a stand off, both shot, window busted open, she got 'im in the shoulder and when we turned back she was out cold. Stupid ass girl." Against the second cot he rested his shoulders against the bunk. Mind reeling he could see what had just occurred burned into his mind, the glass shattering, the scream, it was all like a terrible dream. Moving toward the door he was stopped by Hershel. "Farmer, don't stop me. That girl needs me right now. I'm gon' be fine. Leave me be." Merle pushed past him and to the group standing in the cell as Carl came barreling down the way with Hershel's bag. Flying past Merle he ran to stand next to Maggie as Hershel pushed in as well. The group began to work, applying more pressure with the gauze, Hershel taking scissors and cutting off some of the hair on the side of her head.

Merle pulled a chair up and watched for what seemed like days as Hershel and Maggie worked on her, Daryl sitting next to her for the transfusion as Beth brought both of the brothers food.

The night moved in, Rick now joining them to watch the sight of Daryl resting against the wall. A pair of handcuffs caught the light of the burning candle and Merle watched as he hitched it around her wrist and to the pole of the cot.  
"Ya ain't gonna cuff her like ya did me you son of a bitch!" Merle barked, the baby immediately waking up as she cried on and on.

"It's a precaution Merle." He whispered, backing up. "Thanks for waking up Judith."

To be honest he didn't care, he had just handcuffed the one woman in his life like he had him. Was he asking for an ass whooping? "Officer friendly stupid asshole." He hissed, glancing over as Hershel finally finished the stitching and leaned back in his chair. "Ya alright farmer?"

"Age is our ultimate enemy Merle, slows us down and halts us. Just needing some rest. I'll be back in the morning. Make sure she don't bust the stitches if she moves." He whispered, resting a hand on Merle's shoulder. "I'll keep praying, she'll be fine." The room now just the three of them occupied in he pulled his chair across from his brother to see her better. Stitches facing up he cursed her again for being so stupid. All of this that he had done was so her and Daryl wouldn't be in as much danger as they would have been if he didn't take out the men he did.

Daryl sound asleep Merle had moved him to rest in the chair and head against the metal of the cot stand. Sitting in front of Carrie he held his left hand up, shaking his head. "Look at us, ain't we a bunch of rag tags." Whether it was the pain killers or his mind slipping, his voice remained gravelly, even slurred. "Earlier, ya told me you wasn't scared cause I ain't...Carrie ya don't understand what I mean. My baby brotha knows what he's doin...he's knocked out right now...but...when I saw them marks on his back...I wasn't there for him. I shoulda done more. So much I shoulda done, but I had to go. Pa...he did so much...momma wasn't anythin' either." Watching her breathing he leaned in closer, looking at the long stitch across her face.

That was her scar, a scar of him. Whenever she'd look at herself in the mirror, she'd see that long gash, and be reminded of him. "Now I ain't no better than my pa. Causin harm on someone else." Michonne's words rang through his head from earlier, how nobody would mourn him, not even Daryl.

He wanted to believe that, that he wouldn't care, but the pain he could see writhing over her in her sleep, it was more than enough proof. Besides Daryl, someone cared about him. In his over forty years of existence, after all the pain, the deep struggle, here was someone, a woman, that took a bullet for him. "Ya so fuckin stupid, ya always were. Should've never tried to know me." Leaning closer he kissed the bare side of her face, breathing heavy against her as he tried to take in as much as he could. "Ya gonna be alright, I'm gonna stay here for when ya wake up. Then I'm gonna kick ya ass for being so fuckin' stupid girlie." Leaning back in the chair he could feel his neck cracking as he looked up to the ceiling. For whatever reason he finally was able to fall asleep, and drifted off with the last thing he saw being his brother and Carrie sound asleep in the dark.

* * *

It was a harsh, screaming, obliterating pain. It shot from the side of her face around to the back, pulsing steady with her heart beat. Her arm was also killing her to no end. Eyes creaking open she glanced over to see Daryl and Merle sound asleep in chairs. The sun hadn't even fully come up yet and the light was screaming at her as it trickled through the barred windows of the jail. Trying to sit up she immediately fell back to the pillow, a sob of pain easing from her lips.  
Finally feeling the stinging pain and trembling that had overcome her the sobs came out more and more. Tears ran down the corners of her eyes, burning the stitch in the side of her face. Carrie could remember that she stood in front of the governor and went to fire, then everything went black. Her hand moved up to the stinging pain, fingers brushing the stitching and inflammation that covered the side of her face. "Oh my god." She choked out, letting out a sob as she turned to see the transfusion plug in her arm. "What the hell..." Merle stirring he had always been a light sleeper, since being in the military and growing up in his home, the only time he really slept in was when the drugs and the pills mixed and he was out for most of the day the afternoon after. The electricity of pain had been shooting up his wrist as he woke up, tilting his head up to shake it lightly. "Baby..." Her voice caught his hearing, immediately waking him up as he shot up.

Scooting forward he leaned closer, watching her breathing heavy, tears sliding out of her eyes. "Hey Girlie...hey sugar."

"I'm hurtin Merle..." Carrie cried out, extending her free arm as she wrapped it around his neck carefully. "Your hand...I'm so sorry...if we would have gotten there sooner-"

"Don't even fuckin' talk like that girl." A dark growl escaped his throat, shutting her up of any apologies. "Only thing ya should be apologizin for is for scarin me, putting ya life out there like that for me. I ain't worth it."

"To me you are..." Any idea of anger had washed off of him, replaced with relief and hurt. "I was so close...I was so close to getting him. When he shot at me, when I blacked out...I saw everything...like ya know when they say your life flashes in front of ya?" Merle gave a weak smile, finding a small accent that she most likely had picked up from him. "I saw my family, everything, I questioned every decision I had ever made...I figured out that I don't regret anything. Even...even if I got this pain on my face. It's worth it to know you're still alive."

"Don't be throwin ya life away for me. Just ya feelin tired that's havin ya talk like that." He whispered, easing her back down. "Ya could do a lot better than Ol' Merle."

Carrie reached up with her bonded arm to Daryl, taking the ruined hand he had left. Immediately he flinched, eyes wide as her grip remained soft. "I ain't nothing without you. Please stop saying that. You're all I got left."

They were words he wasn't ready for, and words he didn't want to hear. Breath leaving his frame he gripped her hand with what he could underneath the bandage. "Ya need to rest. When the others get up we'll get some shit for ya, okay?" Carrie tried to push herself up, arm trembling as the pain hit her nerves. "What do ya want?"

Looking up at him she gave a small smile. This was the most attentive he had ever been to her, and as she glanced up to him the light seemed to brighten for her, just a little bit. "A kiss."

* * *

**A/N:** There we go! Thank you guys SOOOOOOOOO x10000 much for all the love you have shown this story! I hope you have enjoyed this story, I know I enjoyed writing it. Seeing your reviews and ideas for this story has meant so much! I'm happy that I was able to keep this in a moderate amount of chapters, but I'm sad that this is over to be quite honest! The idea of the ending comes from a song titled 'Jamie All Over' by Mayday Parade.

But seriously, I am so happy that I got to meet so many awesome people while writing this story, it's something I'm so thankful for! Follow me on lindseytnamez on twitter and fozzy-lace-fangirl on tumblr.  
Gonna keep it short and sweet, I could hug and cuddle you all for your support and I hope you enjoyed 'Eyes On Fire'

xo

_**UPDATE 6/12/2013** Hey guys! It's been a while but I wanted to update you guys with some major news! A sequel has been written! It's title is 'Diary of Carrie' so if you want to find out what happens to Carrie, Merle, and a bunch of the other characters please read that and leave a review, follow and favorite it so I can continue it!  
__Thank you so much for all the love and support this story has gotten, I appreciate all the views and time that was given back to this project from you all! It made all the hours of writing and fighting with my muses so worth it!_


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